nct oneshots [2020-2023]

m y f a v o u r i t e

markhyuck
01:45
2021. 04. 01
a lot of triggering topics will be mentioned !
not edited

haechan fell back into his depression hole and this time he doesn't know if he'll ever get out. everything required so much energy and everything seemed unnecessary to him.
everything was stressful. he knew what he wanted to do in life but his parents aren't supportive. they have this certain image of him that they don't seem to let go and it has gotten to the point where it made haechan's life miserable. he knows what he's good and capable of but that didn't meet their standards which meant the thoughts shouldn't cross his mind. because of their high expectations he always felt like he had to be perfect. he couldn't disappoint them. he had to be the perfect son they always dreamed of. he cried every night because everything seemed to be falling apart. his only motivation was gone and now he's stuck. stuck in a loud messy place he can't call home. haechan just wants a home and someone to call family. everything brought him so much pain but he had no one to turn to. he kept failing and the guilt kept eating him alive.

he can't wake up in the mornings thinking he was going to have a good day, he just couldn't. he always woke up to loud noise that made him want to curl up to a ball and cry all day. discomfort. haechan lived in discomfort. he didn't sleep at night thinking the next day could be a day in a lifetime. he slept hoping he wouldn't wake up. he slept hoping he would wake up to a white ceiling and people who asked him how the experience was. he wished this wasn't real. puberty depression anxiety eating disorders he didn't know anymore. all he knew is that he wanted it to stop. he wanted to be academically smart. to be able to smile at people with confidence. he wanted to stop seeing people as rankings. he regrets everything. everything that has ever happened that he remembers. haechan wished nothing existed.

"it's you again, hi" the cashier of the corner shop said. "good morning" haechan replied sarcastically. "why do you always come so late?" the cashier asked again, haechan shrugged. "good thing i fucking moved" he puts money on the counter and turns around. "sleep well!" haechan hears. he scoffs and continues to walk. you only live once why not sneak out at four in the morning to go to absolutely no-fucking where?
he kept on walking and soon ended up at a bridge. "wow mother nature you must really dislike me" . haechan sat down and sighed. he crossed his legs and looked at the cars and buses driving by in a calming pace. "i would probably die if i jump. it's high enough isn't it? yeah i think so" as haechan was debated where or not he should do it he felt somebody walk towards him but he guessed it was a drunk man in his fifties and didn't pay attention. after a few minutes he turned to the side saw a pair of boots. "what?" he said as he looked up. "i know what you're thinking about. that's why i'm here too but i can promise you it won't solve it" the unknown guy sits down and then lays fully as he stares at the sky that's filled with stars.

without realizing it soon it became light. the amount of cars and buses tripled and more and more people started to cross the bridge. "thank you bridge boy" haechan says.
he found someone he soon could call family. for the first time ever he felt comfortable. for the first time ever he could say what he wanted and meant without feeling guilty and regretful. finally feeling good. like life is worth living after all, that there are others going through similar stuff as well. he now knows he isn't alone.
"minhyung." haechan smiled as he got up. he dusted his jeans then put his hand out for the other to take. minhyung smiled as he took haechans hand. "haechan" minhyung kept holding onto haechans hand. "thank you, bridge boy" haechan said one last time before walking away.
"haechan!" minhyung yelled, haechan turned around and stared at the other. "i hope ill see you again if not i hope to see you in the next life" haechan smiled with a small nod.

and with that they both turn around walking to different parts of the city.