nct oneshots [2020-2023]

a l w a y s h i m

chensung
2021.05.20

jisung hated everything. he hated everyone. hated the fact that everyone had it better. hated the fact that he was the second choice. hated that he was always forgotten or left behind. it was always jinhyuk. he hated his twin the most. he was more good looking. he was smarter. more talkative. they were polar opposites and jinhyuk was everyone's favourite.

he hated february 5th. jinhyuk got breakfast in bed. got the prettiest and most expensive gifts while jisung got socks or gift cards to stores he doesn't even like. jisung was always told that he was unapproachable. that he was too quiet and too neat. but it was the discrimination that made him this way. he wanted to talk to others. to make real friends but he couldn't. people would talk to him because he was park jinhyuks brother and not because he was park jisung. his only comfort was art. jinhyuk is studying engineering while jisung is studying dentistry. deep down he didn't want this. he wanted to study art, music. he wanted to study something he liked but he was already disliked. he couldn't disappoint his parents even more.

"mom can you lend me some money? a friend's birthday is coming up" jisung asked his mother. his mother pulled her glasses down closing the book she was holding onto. "you ask for money too often. ask next month" she replied with an unreadable expression. jisung looked down. what was he supposed to do now?

"mom!" jisung heard jinhyuks voice from afar. he didn't raise his head. "mommy! you know i love you right?" he said, jisung could feel his mother's mood change. "oh baby! what do you need?" her voice got softer. he felt his chest hurt. a clump in his throat. "money, mommy" jinhyuk said smiling widely. their mother nodded as she pointed at her bag that was across the room. jinhyuk was one of the most manipulative people jisung knew. he looked up at his mother. his eyes felt heavy. he hated it. hated her. hated him. hated this whole family.
his mother stared at him. his eyes couldn't lie. they told the whole truth. how he felt deep down. he stared at her for a bit before turning around. he took a deep breath feeling his breathing get shaky. this happened too often. jinhyuk jinhyuk jinhyuk. its never jisung. always jinhyuk.

because of his quiet personality he only hung out with a few people. those friendships weren't real though. he felt it, they felt it. it was visible. he was always the one walking on the grass. he didn't trust them either. they didn't know that he had a twin. didn't know that his sister died. that his father is abusive. they knew nothing. they didn't want to know either. it made jisung sick. how two faced people really can be.

he usually goes home with a few of his friends but today it felt different. he tried to join the conversation multiple times but they didn't even acknowledge him. he wasn't sad. he was way too used to this.

"park jisung!" he heard as he stepped down the stairs that led to the school exit. he looked up trying to figure out where the voice was coming from and then saw a slightly shorter male wave his arm aggressively. "you have other friends, jisung? who would've thought" one of his friends commented with a laugh. jisung was unsure. he felt like he knew the guy but he didn't at the same time. "ill go first then, bye" he said as he started walking towards the boy nervously. "are you jinhyuks friend?" jisung asked as he got closer to the other male. the boy raised an eyebrow. "no im here for you" now it was jisungs turn to raise an eyebrow. "im sorry?" he said confused. "doesn't matter let's just go" the boy said as he linked his arm with jisung's. jisung, confused, let the boy do whatever he pleased. "but who...?" jisung tried to ask again. "chenle. zhong chenle. the boy said with a smile. "but who are you and how do you know me" the boy shook his head. "you ask too many questions. anyways i was sent down to stay close to you" jisung smiled in disbelief. "so you're my guardian angel or something" chenle didn't even smile. he let go of jisungs arm slightly, "i actually am" he said before looking at jisung intensely. jisungs smile dropped. he stared at the boy with a shocked expression. "let's go!" chenle said before smiling widely. this guy is so weird, jisung thought to himself. chenle got a hold of jisungs arm again and they started walking. not even knowing where their destination was jisung let chenle drag him away from his school.

"so" jisung said to break the silence. "mhm?" chenle replied back. "will you ever let go of my arm?" he asked while looking at the other boy. "no" he said with a straight face. jisung raised a brow not knowing if the boy was being sarcastic or not. chenle smiled back at him before continuing to walk. as they continued walking jisung got more and more comfortable around chenle. maybe he really was his guardian angel? he quickly got used to chenle hitting him while laughing. he got used to chenle talking about the most random things. he got used to chenle holding onto his arm as they walked. he started enjoying being quiet. for the first time ever he felt truly happy with someone he just met. it feels like they've known each other for long. "chenle" jisung said interrupting chenle. "yeah?" he said as he looked up at the taker boy. "do you think we knew each other in our past life?" chenle smiled as he looked down. "i don't know, ji" he was quiet for a few seconds. "i do believe we have some sort of connection though. i haven't known you in real life for long but I feel really happy around you. it's weird to be saying this but talking to you feels so much better than just watching over you" jisung eyes were filled with adoration. "you make me the happiest I've been in a while" jisung replies.