Killing Swans

Chapter 32 - Caught in the act

Past

The way was long and exhausting, but after being on the road for three full days, I was finally sitting in a bus that would take me to the centre of Mexico City. My nerves had calmed down over the last few days, but I was still always a little on the edge, looking around the bus if any of these faces would seem familiar and even when I came to the conclusion that Josh wasn't here, I still put on my sunglasses, that I had bought at a drugstore, my hat and try to hide a bit more from the people around me. I must have looked like I was a serial killer on the run and everybody would easily recognize my face while in reality, I was only running from one person and from one person only. 

After I had been on that train that would take me to Nashville, I took a small bus that could carry about ten people, if it was lucky, to Kansas City, which took a few very long hours in which I got coughed on approximately every five seconds by the old sweaty guy next to me, who when I had answered to his question what I did for a living with simply 'I was a dancer', that I should just give up on that stupid dream and become a mechanic or something. He was a hoot, honestly. 

In Kansas I stayed the night in a very shabby Motel, but it only cost me thirty dollars and so it was ok. The next morning I got up at five am and took another train to Dallas this time. The ride was ok, but I had barely slept all night and my nerves were again very thin, so I basically spend the whole ride on the toilet, throwing up. I made a quick stop in Dallas to eat and rest a bit and my next plan was to literally walk to the next smaller town, where busses would drive, but thankfully on the way there, about four hours after I started walking and was already out of breath, some guys picked me up in their truck and took me to Lake Charles in Louisiana. 

And yeah, I could have been killed, but hey, at least that ride was free! It wasn't exactly bringing me much closer to where I wanted to go, but it was the confusing route that I needed, so that Josh couldn't track me down. The two guys in the truck were fairly nice, though I was sure if I were to mention that I was gay and a ballet dancer, they would most likely kill me and dispose my body somewhere around here, so I kept my mouth shut about it and just said that I got some girl pregnant and was now on the run. They loved that. But other than their shitty opinions they were nice and even bought me something to drink and eat on the way, since they thought I was too skinny. 

I even slept in the truck for a while and when we arrived in Lake Charles, they bought me some jerky for the way, which was nice I guess. Anyway from there I took another train to San Antonio and there I could take a flight to Mexico City. And when I had arrived there at the airport, I took another bus that would get me to the centre, so I could find a place to stay before tomorrow I would go to the ballet and ask them...no tell them, that they just had to take me. I needed that, I needed that job, because that was my only prospect and I could have a panic attack at the thought of them not taking me, but I just decided to stay calm, not thinking about it and then everything would be alright...maybe. 

The bus was really hot, but it was ok, I would be sweating anyway because of how nervous I was, but at the same time, when I was looking out the window and onto the new city that would give me my freedom...I was happy. Oh so so very happy. Every person passing us, every house, every car and every tree looked so beautiful to me, like I was suddenly rediscovering the world. The people yelling outside, the noise, the honking of the cars, it was like music in my ears and I felt the need to dance to it. I didn't, that would have been odd in this public bus, but I wanted to do it. 

I didn't really have a plan as to where to go, but at one stop that was literally called Normal, I got off. It just kind of spoke to me and since I barely spoke the language here, this seemed like a good bet. I took my one bag and walked around the area for a while. Suddenly I wasn't tired anymore, I wasn't exhausted. I could have walked around here for hours and I didn't even need to eat or drink anything. When the sun was setting, I took a seat on a bench by a plaza that looked really cute. There was a small chapel in the middle and I felt drawn to it, so I went inside.