Amaguji Book

Dear diary

Tw: s*icide.

14th February 2019

"Dear diary.

Miyadera said I won't ever find love. She said I'm too ugly. She said even if anyone apart from her was to love me - which is a low chance - they would find out how insane, weird and freakish I am and instantly leave me. I feel sad that nobody apart from her loves me."

14th February 2020

"Dear diary. 

Today I moved to a new school. Miyadera found out I made friends with Angie and moved me away. Miyadera said that making friends would distract me from ever being a good person."

21st February 2020

"Dear diary.

I've been at hopes peak academy for a week now. I miss Angie and Himiko from my old school, though now I've made friends with Rantaro. Rantaro is very kind to me and he doesn't bully me like Junko and Tsumugi does. Rantaro is my best friend ever, though if Miyadera found out she would kill me. I don't know if I should keep it a secret from her or not, I'm scared of what will happen if she finds out - though keeping a secret would be the same as lying. Whatever I do, I am a very bad person."

21st May 2020

"Dear diary.

It's a new school year now. Me and Rantaro are still best friends. This is the longest friendship I've had without them beating me until I pass out or Miyadera separating us. Me and Rantaro are really close. I think I might like Rantaro as more than a friend, though Miyadera says being gay is wrong. I don't know what to do."

31st July 2020

"Dear diary.

Today is my birthday. I'm 13 now. And Rantaro is still 12, so Rantaro said I can be braver than him now, even though I'm still scared of most things. By "things", I mean people. I'm scared of sister, I'm scared of nearly everyone in my school, maybe I'm even scared of myself."

26th August 2020

"Dear diary.

Today sister died. She died of illness in hospital. The nurses wouldn't let me see her. I don't feel the same anymore."

1st September 2020

"Sister made a new friend today."

12th October 2020

"Sister made a new friend today."

14th October 2020

"Sister made another friend."

5th November 2020

"Sister made a new friend today. She's soooo popular that everyone wants to be her best friend. I'm so happy for her that she is loved by everyone."

8th November 2020

"Another friend."

17th November 2020

"Sister made 3 friends!! She's so lucky."

17th December 2020

"I got back from Tokyo today. Sister made 34 new friends there."

1st January 2021

"Sister has so many friends."

14th January 2021

"So many friends."

31st January 2021

"Sister has 99 friends now."

14th February 2021

"Rantaro knows my secret now. He knows I'm a freak. I never wanted to see him again. But he told me he was sorry and hugged me. I don't under stand why he is sorry. Nothing is his fault, and it was me being a bad person, not him. But I like the feeling of being hugged by Rantaro, and now I feel guilty because I've done such terrible things that no human would forgive. Except  Rantaro, he loves me. And I love him. He is better than sister."

15th April 2021

"I can't do it anymore. Sister deserved another friend, but instead of 100 friends, she got 99 friends and her stupid little brother. I'm sorry."