Weight of the World-p.r.s

32-no need to hold me close, in fact, just leave me be

Brooke knew she was going to hate herself when she was sober when she would have to face Jayden again. That much was a given at this point, and she knew she would have to lie her way out of potential punishment for leaving the Shiba House without telling anybody. It was going to be awkward looking him in the eye- as sometimes Alex's voice sounded a little too much like the red ranger's, which was probably because of the alcohol. She hoped so, at least, because it was already awkward enough as it is. Brooke didn't know if she had the dignity to sleep beside Jayden and flirt with him after getting drunkenly fucked into a mattress by another man. Not like it was a first-time thing, the one-night stands at least, but it was the first time she would have to look the person she might've fallen in love with in the eye after one. It somewhat felt like cheating, when her own vision and mind weren't betraying her and making her picture that Alex was actually Jayden on top of her. Which he wasn't, and she knew that. In fact, she didn't know what was more worrying, the fact that she was having a one-night stand with someone, picturing herself having said one-night stand with her leader or Jayden actually being experienced with anything social that wasn't leading meetings. Well, the fact that she was even thinking about Jayden right now was worrying. Very much so.

It was starting to get annoying about how much Brooke thought of him, especially now. But, taking a shower (that included Alex) and drinking more did help, along with being in clean clothes. She didn't remember leaving clothes the last time they had seen each other, but she was glad her past self thought ahead. She didn't have to take the potential walk of shame in dirty clothes, at least- and she also had packed pajamas. So now, it being almost 10pm, she was content, wearing one of Alex's t-shirts and a pair of running shorts, laying next to him. He was almost built the same as Jayden, only being an inch or so taller, so it was like nothing had changed. Brooke was latched onto his side, his thumb running over one of the bite marks he had left. They were laying in comfortable silence, just basking in the affection the two gave each other because they knew they'd have to forget each other in the morning. That's how it always worked, they fell in love for a night and then acted like they never met. It was easier that way.

"Hey." Brooke slurred, breaking the silence and propping herself up on an elbow so that she was looking down at Alex. She actually found him attractive, as the bad boy aesthetic did fit him, and the tired smile he gave her made her feel giddy for some reason. Perhaps it was because she was the reason he was tired, and one of the hickies that she left became visible as he turned his head to look at her. It was a stupid thing to be proud over, but here she was.

"Hey," Alex replied, letting out a yawn, his lip ring reflecting in the dim yellow light cast by a lamp on his bedside table. "Fuck me, I'm sore. You have…" He trailed, Brooke grinning as she finished his sentence.

"A lot of stamina? I know." Brooke bragged, beaming when Alex laughed quietly and shook his head. Perhaps if Jayden wasn't in her life, she'd want to date him instead. It wasn't like he was a bad person, he was pretty sweet when he wanted to be. Though maybe it was just the alcohol, it was probably the alcohol. It's not like they saw each other as true friends anyways, Alex was just an "alcohol dealer with benefits", which was a title Brooke found was fitting.

"You're cute, c'mere." Alex laughed, lightly grabbing the collar of the shirt Brooke was wearing. He pulled her down, moving his hand to cup her face as he kissed her. Compared to earlier, the kisses were gentle, almost loving. It was almost like Brooke was actually in a healthy relationship, instead of just hooking up with someone. The keyword being almost, as she tasted the beer on his tongue, but that didn't stop her at all. Despite Alex's complaints about being sore, things were escalating again, and she could feel his hand slip under the oversized shirt she wore, playing with the waistband of her shorts.

She didn't stop him- she just wanted to be touched. Wanted to be loved, even if it was only for a night, and even if it really wasn't love. Alex had no idea who Brooke really was, and it was that aspect that made this all so appealing. There was no reason for him to be scared of her, no reason to tell him how fucked up her life really was. She felt normal here- human, even. Alex didn't know anything, and ignorance was bliss.