𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 // k.sugawara UNDER EDITING

seventeen

You were up in your room finishing homework when you heard a knock on your door.

Walking out you made your way to the door and opened it up.

Frozen.

There standing right outside of your house was Suga, he had his arm hunched on your door frame slightly slouching.

You froze and quickly slammed the door shut.

'What the fuck is he doing here'

The old running away from him wasn't gonna work this time since he was literally at your door.

Preparing yourself you opened it up again giving a little awkward smile.

"So are you gonna slam the door shut on me again or?" He joked as he got up and made is way into your house and took himself to your room.

You needed a moment to process eveything that just happened. First he's standing outside your house and now he's just welcoming himself.
Fuck

Quickly walking back to your room you opened the door to see him sitting still on your bed.

"What the fuck are you doing here" you raised your voice. 

"I think you know exactly what I'm doing here"

You were rather a reserved person, bottling up all your feelings was a better option then simply letting someone know how you're feeling, it's sounds dumb but that how your mind seem to work.

Since the running away trick can't work, the old simply ignoring him came to mind. Walking to your desk you took a seat and decided that if you ignored him he would get bored and leave.

Or so you thought.

20 whole minutes had passed of you trying to ignore Suga by doing your homework slightly glancing to the side to see if he had gotten bored and left.

Oh how you underestimate his persistence.

He sat there quietly scrolling through his phone. He even got comfy and took his shoes off now laying on your bed.

Deciding that maybe another 10 minutes would work you went back jotting down on the paper, but nope the setter just wouldn't leave.

Now fed up with him you slammed your book shut and looked at him with evil eyes.

He took notice and simply stared right back.

"Are you avoiding me [L/n]" breaking the silence.

Already annoyed at him you replied "it's none of your concern"

"i think the fuck it is" he answered with annoyance in his tone.

Woah, you've never heard Suga swear before, and this time he look pretty serious for someone who's all nice all the time.

This time you knew you couldn't escape him or the question.

Getting up from your chair you slowly made your way next to Suga who was still lying on your bed. When he noticed he got up and waited for you to say something.

Anything. 

"This is gonna sound stupid but you have to hear me out til then end okay"

Sugawara was never one to judge so he simply nodded and let you proceed. 

"Yes I was avoiding you... like big time but I have my reasons" You began already hearing your heart racing.

"Everything was going so well Suga, so well...and I felt genuinely happy when I was with you"

"And that's the problem, everything was going well"

"Usually when something good happens to me something shit has to happen too, it always does and this is why I was avoiding you"

"I thought the shit thing that was gonna happen was you leaving me"

"I tried my best to think that you would never do anything of the sort because... I trust you, but I also thought the same thing about my previous 'friends' and now look where that led me"

Tears started to form in your eyes as you tried your hardest to hold them in. You avoided making any eye contact with Suga because the moment you looked at him you knew your eyes would become one giant waterfall.

"So before you could try to pull any of that I did it first... before you abandon me I did it first, so I didn't have to feel what I've been feeling all my life"

You had to take a couple breathes, you just spilt all of your thoughts and feelings to someone, and you hadn't done that in a long time.

Silence filled the room as you waited for any response from Suga. You knew what you did wasn't ideal but you just hoped he wasn't mad at you otherwise you could never live with yourself knowing that the one person who you knew really cared about you doesn't feel that way anymore.

Words weren't spoken but instead you felt a pair of arms wrap around you into a hug.

You hadn't felt one of these in a while.

Adjusting yourself, finding a comfy position you rested your head between the nook of his shoulder and neck.

The tears let out and you let it all out too. There was no pointing trying to keep it all in at this point.

Suga placed a hand on your back and rubbed it back and forth trying to calm you down a bit.

He played with your hair and let you rest there until you were ready to meet his eyes.

Quickly grabbing your hand to wipe the tears away you pulled yourself away from him and met his hazel-brown eyes.

"I won't be going anywhere, I can promise you that" he assured you, and that was all you needed to hear.

This time you were the one to initiate the hug, pulling him in and holding him tightly.

'What did I do to deserve someone like him'

"Hey [L/n]"

Lifting your head up slighting so that you could see his face you replied, "yeah?"

"Your still a loser"

"You are the most annoying person in this whole world" you laughed giving him a slight punch.

"I think you make a solid 2nd place"
He jeered before pulling you back into a tight embrace to show that he was seriously going no where.

Not now, not in a week, a month, year or decade.