nineteen

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     The day seemed to have gotten more gloomy while we were in school. The sky is grey, looking like it's about to rain. It also got significantly colder. I text Calum that I won't be meeting him today because I have something to take care of.

     It's silent as we walk to the car, Michael seems too nervous to say anything while I just don't feel like talking to him. We pass by Luke once we reach the car. Luke stops Michael, grabbing onto his shoulder and whispering in his ear. Michael nods in response.

     I wonder what Luke had to say.

     "So, where are we going?" I finally ask him, getting in the passenger side.

    "I was thinking about going to the lookout. It's more private," He says, "If that's okay with you."

     "It's fine," I nod, watching out the window as we drive away.

The music plays softly in the speaker, it's a little too quiet to make out what song it is. I watch the city pass through the window as I collect my thoughts. I'm surprisingly calm for the situation. Usually these things make me nervous. There's never anything good that comes after the phrase, "We need to talk."

We finally make it up to the lookout. It's sprinkling outside now. The small raindrops making tiny pats on the car. Michael looks over at me, his green eyes shining in the dim light coming through the window.

"What did you want to talk about Michael?" I ask him, looking back into his eyes.

"Us," He takes a deep breath in, "I want to talk about us."

I wasn't nervous before but I'm certainly nervous now. I sit up straight in my seat, unbuckling myself so it's easier to face him.

"Well, what about us?" I ask, swallowing the lump in my throat. This feels all too familiar. It's the same feeling as I had when Ashton and I had this exact conversation. We broke up that day.

"I guess, our feelings. I'm not very good at this if you can't tell," He sighs, running his fringes through his hair.

I think back to what Calum said, to tell Michael how I feel. I want to see what Michael has to say about his new "friend" first.

"I know how I feel. I'm just confused on how you feel, I guess," I say, shrugging my shoulders.

"What's confusing?" He asks.

"Do you seriously not know what would be confusing?" I furrow my brows. He cannot be serious.

"I mean, I have an idea. But I don't know if we're on the same page," He says, "So tell me, what is it?"

"Billie. It's Billie," I spit out, a little annoyed that I even had to say her name.

"She's just a friend," He says, reaching over to hold my hand. I move my hand back from him.

"Oh, really? Then explain why you let her get all touchy. Because none of my friends touch me like that," I respond. I look out the window to see that the rain is falling down harder now.

Michael hesitates, "I don't know. I didn't want to be rude," He finally says.

"Didn't want to be rude? So you think she's cute? I don't think you'd let someone you find unattractive act like she's your girlfriend," I roll my eyes.

"I never said she was cute. She's just a nice person and I didn't want to be rude for no reason," Michael stutters out, "And you can't be mad when you and your new best friend, Harry, act the same way."

"Really? Don't bring Harry into this. Him and I aren't all over each other and we don't hug in the hallways either," I say, slowly getting more upset.

"Maybe, but you two surely gush over each other in class. I see the way he looks at you, Dawn," Michael says, clearly getting upset as well.

"You see that but you don't see how Billie looks at you? She likes you, Michael," I snap back.

Michael remains quiet, and so do I. The rain has calmed and went back to sprinkling. I shake my head, opening the car door.

"Where are you going?" Michael asks me as I get out.

"I need some air," I say, shutting the door behind me.

I hear Michael's door open followed by the shuffling of his feet to come where I am. I lean against the car door, taking in the scent of the outdoors. I gently close my eyes, calming myself down. The rain falls on my skin, leaving cool wet spots.

"Do you feel better now?" I hear a soft voice ask.

I open my eyes to see Michael standing in front of me, looking as nervous as ever.

"A little. Sorry for getting heated," I say, giving a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," He says, scratching his head.

It gets quiet again, the rain starts falling harder again. I would go back in but I like the feeling. It's not thundering or anything so the only issue would be the wetness.

"Dawn, can I ask you something?" Michael brakes the silence.

"Go ahead," I say, raising my voice so he can hear over the rain.

"Why do you even care about Billie and I? I mean it seems to really bother you," He asks, also raising his voice.

     "Why do you even care about Harry and I? It seems to really bother you," I turn the question onto him.

     "Dawn, I asked you first," I watch Michael attempt to shake the water out of his hair. He moves closer to me so he can hear me better.

     Here's my chance, I guess. To tell Michael how I feel. To tell him why it really bothers me to see him with Billie.

     I can feel my heart beating in my chest, feeling as if it is going to burst. I go to say something but I end up pausing a few times. A strike of thunder makes a large sound in the distance.

     I better hurry this up.

     "It bothers me because I like you. I have a crush on you Michael," I almost yell over the rain, "I hate seeing you with Billie. I hate seeing you let her be all over you and wishing that was me. I should've said something sooner but I never had the words to say."

     I bite my lip, watching Michael's facial expression change. I watch as he physically reacts to my words. The nerves in my stomach feel tighter.

     I hope I didn't mess this up.

_____
authors note
double update whoop 🙌

sorry for another cliffhanger, but how do we think michael is going to react?

also i wanted to tell u guys that i really do appreciate all the support. seeing ur guys comments & votes makes my day. even just knowing ppl read my story makes me happy. i <3 u guys!! thank u!!

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