Marvel Shitposting

101

Peter, expressing his affection as any teen would: Thor I would die for you :)

Thor, gripping his shoulders with the intensity of a thousand suns: I would never let that happen

Peter, later that week: I would die for you Loki

Loki, looking him dead in the eye: you will.

Drax: [really bad joke]

Peter: Mr Drax? I would die for you

Drax, with a pause spent determining that Peter is probably joking: but my muscles and fighting power is several times your own! your death would be meaningless!

Peter, in the middle of battle with no regard to his own safety: I would die for you

T'Challa, who has lived with Shuri long enough to know exactly what answer Peter is looking for: then perish.

Peter, jumping in front of Steve: I would die for you Mr Rogers

Steve, a known idiot, somersaulting over Peter: not if I die for you first