𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐔𝐬

♡︎30♡︎

I stared at my phone. I knew I should call Katsuki. The way he'd looked when I left haunted me. He looked tormented. I wished I didn't care so much. No. I wished he cared more. No. That was wrong too. It was obvious he cared. I wished he cared differently. 

I pushed my fists to my eyes and willed the sting to go away. How did I now know that I loved Katsuki? I mean, I knew I was reacting to him differently. But I hadn't realized just how deep the feelings went. How long had I loved him? That's why it hurt so badly out at the fence when he told me he didn't like me- because I'd wanted him to. Badly. I had just thought I was humiliated, but I was disappointed. If my mom were still alive, would I call her about something like this? I heard people say all the time that they hated their moms. I wondered if I would've taken her for granted if I'd had her all this time. I certainly couldn't call my dad. He'd have no idea what to say. He'd probably tell me not to ruin my friendship with Katsui by talking about it. He'd be right. This was an impossible situation. I needed Katsuki in my life. I couldn't lose him by telling him I loved him.

My phone chimed and my heart jumped. I looked at the message. It was from Eiji. I tried not to be too disappointed to read it. 

Eiji🦈❤️
11:36 PM

If you meet a guy named Fumikage Tokoyami, tell him he still owes me two dollars. Miss you.
Read @ 11:36 PM

I texted back: 

You want me to tell Fumikage he owes you two dollars and that you miss him?

Haha

I smiled. 

Miss you too.
Read @ 11:37 PM

I stared at my phone, waited for him to say more. He didn't. It was maddeningly silent for two minutes. Finally, I typed: 

Have you been hanging out with Katsuki?

Yeah

And? 

And what?
Read @ 11:40 PM

My brother was so dense sometimes. I just wanted to know if Katsuki was okay. But now that I'd admitted to myself that I was in love with him, it felt like everyone would see that. Maybe everyone had seen it? Did everyone but me know I was in love with Katsuki?

I sighed.

And nothing. I just wondered if you guys were dying without me.

Of course, we are.  

Probably not dying like I was. Man, I needed to run twice as far tomorrow. 

Night Eiji❤️

Night, (annoying nickname)❤️
Read @ 11:45 PM

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

I hadn't worn makeup in eight days. It felt nice. I didn't have to scrub my eyes every night with face wash. It also felt good to be competitive again. Before coming to camp, I hadn't played a pickup game with my brothers in over a week. I missed it.

Kyoka held up a sock. "Is this yours?"

"Oh. Yes."

She threw it to me and I shoved it into my duffel bag, getting everything ready to leave first thing in the morning. 

"You'll have to Snap me so you can tell me all about how your boy issues turned out."

I laughed. "Yeah, I'm curious to see myself." I liked Kyoka. If she lived closer to me, we would be better friends. I knew I was missing that kind of friendship in my life. Maybe I could have it with Mina one day. . .I just had to be more honest with her. I needed to be honest with Nemuri, too. She brought something into my life that I'd never had before. She could read my emotions like the men around me never could. I needed someone to understand me. To help me understand myself. But first I had to come clean. The huge lie I'd told her made it hard to get too close. 

But the one truth that stood above the other ones I'd take away from camp was that I was in love with Katsuki Bakugou. I loved him so much it hurt. It hurt because I knew he couldn't love me back the way I needed him to. And I was going to have to learn to live with that because I couldn't lose him. I would have to be happy with whatever part of Katsuki I could have. 

There was a pounding on the window and Kyoka looked over at me. I shrugged and cranked it open.

"Y/N. It's the last night. You said it was prank night," came a whisper from the beach below.

Kyoka groaned. "We're too tired."

"Don't be babies," someone else called.

My competitive nature flared up. "We'll be out in a minute." I shut the window.

"For real?" Kyoka asked me, rolling onto her side. 

I smiled a wicked smile. "It's tradition."

"Fine. What are we doing this year?"

"Filling Fumikage's dorm room with basketballs. He owes my brother two dollars. I think this will be better than collecting money."

She laughed. "Well, why didn't you say that, to begin with?"

"I just thought of it."

"How do we get the keys to the gym?"

"We'll figure it out."