Say It (Hotch x Reader)// ✔

A Loving Feeling

Summary:

Derek's party brings a multitude of things: intel about Martins, time spent with your friends from the BAU, and at last - a talk with Hotch

Notes:

Idk what this chapter is but there's fluff and more talking! papa Rossi! and everyone being cute and supportive! (i also wrote this with a fever so if u see mistakes no u didn't lmao) - 

sry it took me so long to update guys - but i leave u with a v long one (bcs i cant for the life of me write short chapters, idk why)

 i love u all!! title from the song by our lord and savior, Mitski

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Your idea to tell the girls proves to be the best one insofar. Being around Martins and at the CIA all the time, makes it hard to fit in time to secretly investigate the man.

That, and the fact you're more than tired when you get home, so sleep is the only thing you do afterhours. If you didn't, your mind would scrounge up new ways to make you regret what happened with Hotch. And those few nights were the hardest. Mostly because you couldn't seem to remember why you'd decided to go through with it. You loved him. He loved you and was asking you for more time. What was so wrong about granting it to him...?

The girls help – that's the point.

Penelope finds out a whole load about Martins' background before he joined the CIA. Emily asks her people at Interpol. And JJ extracts some information from Pentagon – sealed documents of old missions he'd done for the state.

"He's clean" you recap, after hearing JJ's recount on the man's career.

"He's worked in Yemen and Iran and undercover for a few years in Germany"

"Yes, I know. Junie already had this information on her file"

"But did you know about Germany? Wait -" you hear her move in the background, a door opening and closing.

Then Penelope's voice. "Is that her?"

"Yes" JJ says, "I'm just telling her about what we found yesterday"

"Oh, right. That's good. Just be fast"

"Of course,"

They're not talking to you and it makes you more stressed. This would be easier if you'd just been there, with them, at least at the same place – but no, you stop yourself before going that direction. If you'd been there, you wouldn't have been at the CIA, and you wouldn't have broken up with Hotch – fuck, never mind, you've gone there. Tomorrow is Derek's famed birthday party. You're hyper aware of that.

"Y/N? Are you there?"

You snap out of it, "Yes? You were talking about Germany"

"Yes" JJ starts, "The documents you gave us said he ran an operation in Berlin for 5 years"

"That's correct"

"But it's not in Germany. There are twenty-six places named Berlin in the United States alone. He never left the country. The operation he ran was here, not in Germany"

In America?

"What? Which one of those places is it then?"

"Many of these are unincorporated communities, and they're spread through Kansas, Kentucky, California, Tennessee, Texas, West Virginia -"

"Okay" you cut her off, "so what does that mean? What's an unincorporated community?"

"It's a region not governed by a local municipal corporation. Similarly, they could be even settlements not governed by their own local municipal corporation but administered as part of larger administrative divisions, such as a township, parish, borough, county, city, canton, state, province or country."