Final Call for Mercy

25

My teeth felt as if they would shatter from how hard I grit them. Silently, I watched as Mateo packed his gun inside the duffel bag he had prepared. When he finally turned to face me, duffel bag in hand, he heaved a sigh.

"I have to," he declared.

I stood by the doorway, wanting to scream at him but chose to keep calm instead. "No, you don't. Think about your sister," I tried, knowing it'd hit him close to home. "Think about how much she needs you to be safe."

"I am," he said lowly.

I shook my head, feeling my heart pound harder in my chest. "No, you're not. If you die—"

"I am!" He exclaimed, his eyes wide. "It's the only reason I'm going there in the first place. It's the only reason I'm staying sane right now, Tasia! I'm doing it all for my sister."

"How?" I grabbed him by the shoulders. "It will be a massacre and you know it. Win or lose, it'll be a bloodbath. If you go, you might die. And I refuse to take that chance, Mateo."

He stared back at me with fierce determination, "it's not your decision." It made the desperation in me grow.

"It is. I won't let you—"

"My sister," he cut me off, his voice breaking at the mention of Daniela. "She's in their hands right now, Tasia. And if what you said is true, about having to find Nine to find her, then we'll have to lure him out. And for that to happen, we have to do like Nick said and beat them."

"I know!" I cried, not sure what I was getting at. All I knew was that I hated the thought of Mateo going to France. Of fighting on the front lines. Any other time, I'd fight by his side. But this fight...it wasn't worth it. His life was worth ten times more to me than the dozens that might be lost. And if I must own up to my name to save my family, I will. 

"Then what is it?" he took a step back, searching my eyes for the truths I refuse to tell. "We have to do this. I have to do this. I have to succeed. And if my life has to go on the line for that, then what else is there to it?"

I screwed shut my eyes, doing everything in my power to hold it together. "I chose you for this job because I know you can succeed. I need my second in command alive!"

"And I need you to believe in me!" he shouted. "I'm doing this whether you want or not, Anastasia. And you know damned well your title won't hold me back, because you wouldn't dare force me to stay. So, I need you to have a little faith, because I need to do this and your support would go a long way."

I kept my mouth shut for both our sakes. The only words that would come out of my mouth would be the orders to chain him to the bedpost. My support I can't give because my mind would never let me. But my permission he would always have because my heart is not as strong. So I just looked away and stepped aside, no longer blocking the exit. I could feel his stare burning through my skin until he sighed and left through the door.

I didn't hear or see from him the rest of the day. The whole thing put me on edge and as I went over my routine of checking on shipments and handling trades, I found myself barking out orders at my men. Their surprised, if not intimidated, faces stared back at me with every merciless scream. I hardly realized with the million thoughts and possibilities flashing through my eyes. 

Nicolas continuously tried to make me calm down. Even going as far as telling me he'd take over my duties for the day. One yell in his face was all it took for him to back down. Added to the pile of anger and fear was guilt, but I couldn't bring myself to deal with any of it.

Mateo, wherever he was, better come back intact. Or hell will break loose on anyone who hurt him.

At night, with Nicolas beside me in bed, I managed to work up the nerve. I placed a hand on his face and his eyes closed on instinct. "I'm sorry," I murmured, the darkness of the night making it feel like only us two existed in the world. I wish it was so. "For screaming at you, for being a bitch, for...for everything."

He sighed, his hand coming over my waist. "I know." As he pressed our foreheads together, his thumb went under the fabric of my shirt, rubbing softly over my skin. "I know, baby, I know. And it's okay. The burden you carry—we don't have a right put it against you. Those men know that everything you do, you do it with their wellbeing in mind. You do it to protect us all. Don't ever feel sorry for that. I love you, okay?"

I nodded, closing my eyes to ease their burning, and letting him kiss me. You do it to protect us all. Oh, how right he is. And how much I wish it justified everything. 

None of it was okay. Not even close. And, if Mateo doesn't come back in one piece, it'll only get worse. Because then I won't hold back. Nothing on this earth will keep me from protecting them, even if I kill my soul in the process.

"But, hey," he pulled away, with a smile on his face. "We have a party tomorrow."

"We do?" It seemed ridiculous to have a party in a time like this.

"Yep," he nodded. "A celebration of union."

I laughed shakily, the best I could do with my heart feeling at the brink of shattering. "How specific."

His smile only grew and I wanted to thank him for doing his best to make me feel better. Only he could make it work. "It's an engagement party. That's all I will say."

"An engagement? Who?"

"That's all I will say," he grinned.

"Come on," I whined. "I have to know. Don't I have to offer a gift?"

He rolled his eyes, a habit he denies he got from me. "I have that covered. Don't worry about it."

"Fine, then."

"Fine, then."

"You're a fool. Did you know?"

His eyes shone even in the darkness of the night around us. "Only for you, my love. Only ever for you."

***

Hiya.

Giving you this half painful half adorable offering because you are all so awesome. 

Queen of the Underworld hit 400 thousand reads! I'm so shocked and grateful and in love with all of you. I'm such a whore, omg.

eh-knee-weys, here you go. I hope you enjoy.