Final Call for Mercy

32

Anastasia

I rarely ever spend nights not sleeping by his side. Even during the time we didn't live together when I still utilized my apartment, he'd spend almost every night sleeping by my side. On days when we had too much work, we'd sleep side-by-side in my office. 

I had gotten used to his body against mine every night. It had become more than routine. It became second nature.

Two nights I've slept without him by my side. The night they left and last night as I was informed of their return. Two nights where my body felt cold like it's never known. The chill of fear and dread. 

Mateo said they were all okay. A few of our men dead. Martin and his wife alive. Nicolas was hit in the shoulder, but the bulletproof vest protected him. I nearly fell to my knees upon hearing that.

Tomorrow the allies come. Tomorrow I let them know what will be happening from now on. I let them know that they have no choice but to serve me. And I'll give them every reason to want to.

Some are already on their way and will be arriving to the warehouse soon. My father advised me to invite them into our home, creating a sense of trust over us that would help everyone. I didn't listen. I don't trust any of them and I'd make this a million times harder if it meant keeping everyone I don't trust away from everyone I love.

And he must have seen that in me, because even when I told him I wouldn't, his eyes shone like he'd seen something he couldn't believe.

You remind me of the parts of my own father I tend to forget, he had told me with a hand cupped around my cheek. And I can't help but feel the pride and anguish I felt for him, too.

My body had tensed, holding in the panic and wish to throw myself into his arms and cry. My mind raced, wondering if he knew what I planned. If he'll ever try to talk me out of it. If he knows it's too late. I just hugged him, wiping the single tear that escaped as he squeezed me in his arms.

I spent all of yesterday, wondering whether had he tried to talk me out of it, I'd have caved. Truthfully, I don't want to know the answer.

Today I am to prepare and look composed—for my men, for my family. Every moment spent away from Nicolas, Mateo and Jonathan felt like a squeeze on my heart. Every moment I wondered if something had happened. I could hardly focus on anything. Hardly wanted to. I just waited, staring at my phone, hoping I'd get the call they were safe and coming back. And when it came, I felt hollow because the good news didn't feel as fulfilling as I thought they'd be.

And though the last thing I want is to get off my bed, I force myself up and go through the motions of showering, dressing and eating. Today...

Today felt like the day something changed. Like the day the curtain dropped and darkness blocked out the light from coming in.

I don't realize my father was in the room until his hand blankets my shoulder and he kisses the top of my head. "You look beautiful, tesoro."

My smile came so easily at that. "I'm wearing a crewneck and jeans, Dad. Not to mention the terribly beat-up sneakers."

"Well," he pursed his lips. "Yellow looks good on you. Like a little sunray. I remember when you were three and your hair was so much lighter than it is now. I used to tell your mom she birthed the sun and gave it eyes of emerald."

He smiled in a way that gave away his trip down memory lane. My lungs felt as if they expanded, and a little more air fit for me to breathe. Once upon a time, his memories with me made him smile. And by the look on his face, it's those he treasures most of all.