little miss perfect - cady x janis (PAUSED)

Chapter Ten - Janis Sarkisian / Damian Hubbard

a/n: Cady's pronouns are now she/they!

There wasn't a long silence like Janis expected to happen. It didn't come from her or Damian, but instead it came from the door. The door flew open so quickly to where Janis was so sure that it was going to fall off. "Janis, why didn't you ever say anything?" Her dad said in his kindest voice he could have.

"That's my cue to leave." Damian said, getting up and leaning over to Janis, kissing her cheek and heading out of the room. Janis didn't move from where she was, and neither did her dad. They just sat there in silence, his eyes on her while she stared at her wall. She never wanted her dad to hear all that. It was the last thing she wanted.

"You should've told me, Jan." Her dad said, finally moving from his spot and going over to where she was sitting and then putting an arm around her, causing her to flinch. He hesitated for a second, but then she laid her head on his shoulder, leaning closely into him.

"I didn't know how." She whispered, her voice breaking.

"And that's okay, Jan. No one ever knows how to do anything. I don't want to pressure you to talk to me, but I just want to be apart of your life." Her dad said to her, pulling her in closer.

"I was scared." Janis cried, her shoulders starting to shake as he held her, trying so hard to be comforting but her sobs just kept coming.

"Janis, I'm here now. I'm here, okay? There's no need to be scared, because I'm here now."

•••

"It just feels like a chore, and I'm tired of it. I feel.. stuck. Like nothing is happening, there's no change." Janis said to her therapist, Naomi. It was a Tuesday evening and Janis had been waiting all week for her next session with Naomi. She felt like she could easily understand her, her humor, and who she was and what she wanted. She really liked Naomi as a person, too. She was fun and made similar jokes to Janis. She made Janis feel like she wasn't a burden anymore. That was probably her job, but all of her other therapists and the ones she had met with before made her feel like more of a burden than she already did.

"And have you talked to them about it?" Naomi asked, shifting in her chair.

"I try to, but then something comes up for them. It's always tutoring, or mathleets, or another class. It just seems like she doesn't want to deal with me anymore, and I wish they would just tell me instead of leading me on." Janis sighed, leaning back in her chair and picking at her tights.

"Janis, from what I've seen, Cady loves you and-"

"But there's no 'and'. I've told her, like, what? Four times now? That I love her and she got all freaked out every time." Janis said, cutting Naomi off and a heat going through her body that she couldn't explain. It wasn't anger, but she was tired. She was so tired of giving Cady her all, but feeling like she was receiving nothing back.

"I suggest you talk to her. You said you guys do movie nights? Do one of those, but talk to her. It'll always be easier if you guys talk about it instead of you both ignoring it. If you ignore it, it'll just get worse. I've heard what you've been through, and I feel like if you run from it, old memories might come back up. You've gotten so far from that, it's time to move forward and face it this time. Besides, Cady's your girlfriend, and she's always been understanding. What's to say that she won't be understanding now?"