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....JACKIE HADN'T PACKED. She was to go home for Easter this morning and yet she had spent so much time worrying about the idiotic Regulus Black last night that she had absolutely nothing ready. She vowed to dedicate more time to preparedness as she argued with Benny over whether her hairbrush was the pink one or the orange one.
No one even really went home for Easter. It was only a week long break and it was too close to the exam period for many to part with the Hogwarts library for. But of course Alistair Harmon simply insisted that his daughter be home for it. Probably to convince the general public that he was enough of a good father that he missed his only child when she was gone. It was all a show obviously.
As Jackie sat on the train, she realized that James and Sirius would probably be in a carriage farther down in the train, but she couldn't bear to sit next to them right now. All she would feel would be bitter envy that Potter had a loving home to go to and Sirius had left his own pureblood family to join another, who had accepted him without a second thought.
The only other Slytherins going home too were Nott and Malfoy and so she sat on the Hogwarts Express alone, left to only her thoughts. And how she wished she could get away from them.
Her mind kept replaying the moment when she had discovered what was lurking on Regulus' arm all this time. How resigned he had looked and how shocked she had been.
Jackie had never really felt useless that often in her life but right then had felt as though she was. She looked back on it now and the memory tore her open, fresh and raw. She had just stood there, slack-jawed and powerless, while all the skeletons that Regulus had been keeping in his closet were revealed.
Even now, she wasn't sure what she could've done differently to stop him from running away from her. She thought maybe she could've offered him comfort or understanding or a thorough interrogation but yet none of those options really felt right.
The worst part was, she wasn't even angry. And she knew that she should be furious. He had played the glorious saint, always looking out for Benny, agreeing with Lizzie when she went on a torrid rage over all the Death Eater attacks reported in the Daily Prophet. And all that time he had been one in disguise.
