The Struggles of Being a Tomboy

Chapter 6

August 15, 2020 12:00 P.M.

Lunchtime. Mia and her friends walked over to our table.

"What do you want, Mia?" Aaron asked.

"It would be splendid if we could join you guys," Olivia said in the fakest voice possible. "Maybe we could get to know each other better. How's that sound, loser?"

"Hey, watch it with my best friend!" Aaron said.

"I don't need you to stick up for me. I've got this," I said.

Mia ran her finger across her neck. "You have some nerve sticking up for this fucking tranny, you know that, big brother? I didn't want it to come to this, but I guess it's time for her to meet her demise."

"Mia, you used to not be like this!" Aaron cried. "I remember when we were kids, you didn't care about popularity and how others thought of you. Sure, you were born beautiful and I was born plain, but it doesn't matter. If you still have a little bit of sense, come back to me!"

"Oh, please. Like that's gonna work," she said. "Listen here and listen goddamn well, shithead! The Mia you knew is dead and will never return, so don't waste your pussy ass on shit like that!"

"Mia," Aaron said.

"Go," I said. "You girls have done enough."

"And why do we have to listen to you?" said Ava. "I swear, I'm gonna get you expelled one of these days."

"We'll see about that," I said. "And sitting with us just so you can continue nitpicking me is not gonna cut it."

Mia turned to her brother, but couldn't think of anything to say. She clenched her fist to her chest and cried.

"Mia, are you alright?" Aaron asked.

"Aaron, you don't know why I started treating everyone like this. I let the fame get to my head just so I could get close to Jada," Mia said.

"But you don't need to change yourself for others to like you!" Aaron said. He took his sister's hand. "It's not like you to not care about how what you say affects the people around you. Every time you do that, you push someone away who truly cares for you."

"I know," Mia said. "But it's not that easy."

"It never is," Aaron said.

"I did it because I wanted Jada to notice me!" Mia blurted out. "I've been crushing on her since eighth grade and I knew I had to become a popular bitch otherwise she'd hate me forever!"

"Ew, she's a lesbian!" Jada said, laughing.

"That's so stupid," Ava said. "Let's expose her to the whole school!"

Mia stood up in front of the girls. "Why do you think it's OK to bring people down just because they're different from you? Why does it matter that I love girls and my brother loves males?"

"Ah, you downgraded yourself, Mia," Olivia said. "We only associate with the popular kids. So never talk to us ever again!"

Jada slapped Mia across the face. "That's for being such a dyke!" she said. Jada laughed at her along with the other girls in her group. Then, she glared icily at Mia. "I will never love the likes of you."

Then they left.

I ran over to Mia. "They're gone," I said.

"Why are you talking to me after everything I did to you and everyone else at Gillian?" said Mia. "I threatened to kill you if I saw you near my brother again. You shouldn't be talking to me after what I've caused you and everyone else. I should just go."

"It's not your fault, Mia," I said. "And I'm really sorry you and Jada didn't work out the way that you thought it would. Jada has always been on my  tail since second grade, so I know how she can be. She holds grudges for as long as she's alive, she pretends to want to help you, but turns around and calls you hurtful things. If it's anyone's fault, it's Jada's. Your feelings for her pressured you to be more like her, but inside you weren't happy. "

"You're right, Riley. I wasn't," Mia said.

How to Love Someone (When They Don't Love You Back)? Lyrics

Mia: Hurt, damaged
Trying to find my way
In such a world

Searching and searching
To find the one
Finding and watching
When I found her
I thought I was done

There are other fish
In the sea
They say
But for me
Is there really another way?

Beautiful in every way
Her looks lead me astray
It's a gravitational pull

She looked at me
I blushed like crazy
But she didn't see me
And I was forced to change
In ways that felt so strange

Change isn't easy
Change is pain
And commitment and shame
I had none of it
Picked myself up
And thought to myself

I better be like her
Or else she'll reject me
Call me a slur

But now I've had enough
Although the question still burns in my mind
Love is rough

How do you love someone
When they don't love you back?
And if they don't, how do you forget?

You've changed so much
That you didn't see it before
So you closed the previous door
And assumed a new life
And a new reputation
Little did I know it would end in humiliation

She never cared
So why do I keep coming back?
How do you love someone
When they don't love you back?

I saw the way she treated me
She said that I was a "dyke"
What's to like?

But she's beautiful in every single way
From head to toe
She was mine from the start, I know
But was it real or just pretend?
How could I not see this end?

I was revealed
Respect abolished
Status repealed

But I keep coming back to her
Oh, the way things were!
It wasn't true
And still now my heart
Leads back to you

How do you love someone
When they don't love you back?
I once thought my life was on track
But I was wrong

I was never a true part of her pack
She tossed me away
And I came back

Chasing the dreams in my heart
Searching for a brand new start
Will Jada see me finally?
At last?
Someday?

I still love her
And it hurts me to say it
She made fun of me
How can I be so naive to think
That we were ever meant to be?

I was stupid then
And I'm stupid now
How do I love someone?

How do I love someone?
How do I love someone who's unwilling change
And forcing me to comply?
I'd rather die!

How do I deal with heartbreak?
How do I move on?
She thinks that I'm a mistake
She thinks I'm just a pawn

I wanna make her see

How do I love someone?
How do I love someone?
How do I love someone?

The question still burns
Inside my mind
The answer I'll never find

How do you love someone
When they don't love you back?