Nostalgia

0·8

Kong wasn't replying my texts and I wasn't sure where I was headed. All I knew was I was stupid and I needed water. So the plan to get stoned was completely out the window now.

Normally, anyone who had drunk as much as I had tonight would feel tipsy to a high extent. I, however, wasn't even feeling the buzz. Just very very pathetic. Especially after kissing and ditching Nathan.

I groaned mentally.

Why did I do that? Why? I thought I was a rational person. Rational people did not use other people to get over other people!

Okay, maybe the alcohol was only making me feel worse.

Miraculously, I managed to find the kitchen. It was almost empty, save for a few couples hanging around. Two people weren't even trying to hold back, going at it with all their might on the kitchen counter.

I didn't have any fucks left to give.

At this point, the only thing on my mind was "I'm stupid" and "I need water". So I made my way to the fridge and yanked it open. Grabbing a bottle of water and opening it, downing it's contents and throwing the bottle to the floor. The couple at the counter jumped away from each other, overly aware of the noise the plastic bottle made against the floor. Next thing I knew, all eyes were on me, and I felt way more awkward.

I pulled out my phone and sent Kong another text on my way out of the kitchen. Where was he? I needed to go home.

Someone bumped into me when I reached the kitchen door, almost sending my phone clattering to the floor. He saved it before the mayhem could occur and then handed it over to me.

Not until I stared into those familiar eyes did I realize who it was. And once I did, my breathing stopped. Everything stopped for the second time in this party. The small "thank you" which was about to slip out of my lips fled back to where it came from.

James whipped out a drunk grin. I could tell he was drunk because he could barely stand. One hand steadied him against the door frame.

"Why hey there, Avery!" He blinked. "Wasn't expecting to see you there. This how you plan on fleeting in and out of my life till I finally loose it?"

I wanted to hit him. I wanted to smack that grin right off his face and then kiss him before smacking him again. Because that was exactly how I felt; confused. Here he was, moving on with blondies while I couldn't even kiss a stranger.

"You're in my way, James," I told him, trying to make my way around him but stepping back when he blocked me again. My attention snapped up to his and I struggled to maintain my composure at the hurt in his eyes.

I couldn't judge him though. Has he moved on really? Had he not? The alcohol wouldn't let me concentrate. Like I wasn't high enough from just being around him.

"I should hate you," said James under his breath. He ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head. Like he wanted to shake off the alcohol but couldn't. "And I do hate you but-fuck. I should go home." Another chain of cursed left his lips.

His words left me stunned. Hurt. But I deserved this. I mean I'd only wreaked havoc in the past five months.

"You're drunk," I announced the obvious. James laughed like I'd cracked a joke and even though it sounded drunken and drawn out too much, I couldn't help but savor it. Infact, I felt it lasted too short a period before I had to speak again. "I'm supposed to be asking for your help. If I was so bad a person, I should've asked you now. When you can't really tell me no."

James scoffed. "You'd have to shoot both my legs off before I'd agree to help you." I almost choked on the sharp breath I took. "But let's see. Why don't you tell me just how much you need my help and see if maybe your pleading could change my mind."

I paused for a moment. Should I tell him? Normally, he would never agree to help me, I was sure but now he was giving me a little amount of hope. Maybe if I could convince him...

"My family needs your family to partner with us in business so we don't crash." This was dumb. Asking for James help while he was drunk at a party. Not only was he not in the right state of mind, but the environment just wasn't alright to discuss business.

I might've expected it,but it still hurt very much when James dropped his reply with a grin.

"No."

Immediately he'd said it, he lost his balance and almost fell to the floor. Face first. Somehow I'd managed to prevent it however, stepping in to hold him up from his waist.

His breath reeked of alcohol and his entire weight pressed down on me due to the angle we were in. I had to remind myself to breathe.

James wasn't lean like Kong, neither was he really built like Adam. He stood somewhere in the middle. While we were still together I used to mock him for having so much weight and not putting it to good use.

I had to swallow back the memories when James laughed.

"Oops, almost ended my nose there." He laughed again before slowly standing upright, with my help. "I don't need your help though, I'm completely fine."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and then shed tears for what I'd done to him. Was this james now? The cute James I knew was now replaced by his shell?

Focus, Avery.

I'd asked for James' help. He'd said no. Now all I had to do was tell my mother and get her off my back. After taking care of James, that is.

"You need to get home. Where's Pat?" I asked.

"I don't need her."

"Yeah. You're really drunk," I confirmed. What was I supposed to do now? I didn't even have the Uber app on my phone and Kong was missing.

"You're drunk too. We're all drunk." James chuckled. My grip around his waist tightened. Not because I missed holding him or anything.

"I'm not planning on driving. Where's your phone?"

"Still haven't gotten the Uber app, have you?"

"Give me your phone."

Laughing, he pulled it out of his back pocket and handed it over. "You didn't change in the slightest."

I bit down on my lip as I ordered our ride. He was wrong. I did change. I changed a lot.

It took two minutes to get outside the gate, two minutes for our ride to get to us, and another two minutes to get James into the car. Once we were on the road, I felt James out his head against my shoulder and mumble curses under his breath. His eyes were already drifting shut and I fought the urge to run my index finger from the middle of his forehead down the bridge of his nose like I used to do. My hand folded into a fist which I tucked under my thigh and swallowed. My slightly drunk brain couldn't handle this.

"Why do you need my help now, Avery?" James' sleepy voice cut through the silence. "You never wanted me anyways."

I felt my eyes gather moisture. That wasn't true, but I was going to let him hold on to it. For both of us.