ℙ𝕚𝕟𝕤 [𝙹𝚞𝚓𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚞 𝙺𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚗]

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟡; ℍ𝕖𝕣 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤

TW: This chapter will have mentions of suicide and self harm so, if you're sensitive to it, please read with caution. 

Aiko may seem like a normal, cheerful and hot-headed girl but behind all that, is a girl who blames herself for bad things that happen to her. Her upperclassmen and classmates at Jujutsu High noticed something about her eyes looking empty or rather, dead. Yes, she smiles but something about it seemed different. Almost as if, it wasn't real. 

For the longest time, she had blamed herself for her best friend, Sayaka's death. She wasn't blamed by Sayaka's family but she still can't forgive herself and let go. She often told herself that it would've been better if Sayaka was alive instead of her. This thought was worsened once she met Nozomi. After what Nozomi had told her, she really wished for death. She doesn't cut herself since she didn't want any of the other first years noticing so, she harms herself by letting herself get hurt by curses she fights, she also overworks herself to the point of her passing out. This once happened to her during training which concerned the other first years. 

Sayaka was important to her. She considered her as family. Aiko was lonely. Ever since she started junior high, people distanced themselves from her since Aiko would often stare at random places which creeped them out. It also didn't help that Aiko could see curses, so she pretends that she doesn't see them. Her ability to see curses was also why she stared at random areas. This lead to her being bullied by her classmates. She would get graffiti on her desk, her locker being vandalized and getting buckets of water poured on her. She was also lonely. She didn't know anyone in her family and only knew her mother who had died while on a mission. At the age of 6, she had met her mother's classmate who had taken care of her until she was old enough to take care of herself. 

Aiko was about to jump in the school rooftop when she was stopped by Sayaka. The two became friends after that. Aiko had promised to Sayaka that she wouldn't hurt herself and talk to Sayaka when something bothered her. Sayaka was like an angel who saved her from this cruel world. She treasured Sayaka. They were like sisters, sometimes they had disagreements and sometimes they fought but that was natural. Aiko had gotten through junior high with her. Then, a few weeks after she started high school, the incident had happened which made Aiko feel lonely. But, she felt a bit of comfort once she had met Megumi, Nobara and Yuuji which also stopped her from going over the edge. 

She didn't bother telling any of the first years about what she felt. Yes, they knew she had lost her best friend in front of her but they didn't know how much she still blames herself. The events that happened may have distracted Aiko but now, those thoughts had come crawling back. She often cried herself to sleep in the middle of the night. She also seemed "out of it" according to the other first years since she often spaces out and wasn't being her usual self which concerned them but she brushed off the topic every time she was asked about it.

She tried to forget about her thoughts through many distractions like sewing and crochet which helped her a bit. When on her free time, she would go on little walks in the beach or the park that would sometimes end in her having to exorcise a curse. She often visits Sayaka's grave and told stories about things that happened to her. During nighttime, she would sometimes sneak out of her dorm through the backyard and come back when she's tired. She often visits the beach that she visits with Sayaka on the days she would sneak out. 

"Hey Sayaka, If you're listening to me right now. I wanna tell you stuff. You'll love it. I met a relative of mine, she's quite annoying but she's cool! Also, I hope you aren't jealous that I made a lot of friends. What am I saying? You'd probably be proud of me since I'm not lonely anymore. Well, I hope you heard me." She says, standing up and dusting off any sand on her clothes. The moon was shining bright as she walked back to Jujutsu High. She knew that it was dangerous to go anywhere but she didn't care. 

She enters her dorm, leans on the sliding glass door. "I miss you a lot you know." she says and starts crying. During the times she cried, she often remembers things she did with Sayaka. Walking together at the beach, chasing each other at a park and getting ice cream afterwards, climbing trees for fun and accidentally falling. She wished to go back to that, those times where she didn't have to deal with curses and where she was living a carefree and normal life with her. Sometimes, she would accidentally fall asleep while sitting on the floor crying. 

Aiko was just tired of everything. She just wants to settle down. She had considered suicide a lot. She just wants to rest. She had caused problems for Nozomi and caused Sayaka to die. Aiko wanted everything to end. And so, she actually tried doing it. She went somewhere else to do it. She left a note in her dorm and went to the building's roof. She sat on the railings, thinking about what happened to her so far, the wind blowing away her hair. She thought about finally joining Sayaka in the afterlife. She was about to jump until something stopped her.

She heard Megumi, Nobara and Yuuji  behind her. Nobara was the one who found the note. She barged in Aiko's room after no one responded to her when she was knocking on Aiko's dorm. She noticed the note on her bed and quickly informed the other two and went looking for Aiko everywhere when they noticed someone that looked like her, sitting on a rooftop's railings. They were glad that they weren't late. Aiko started crying. How could she have done such a thing? She completely forgot about her other friends, not even thinking about what they would feel when they found out she killed herself.  Aiko climbed back inside the railings and put her shoes on. 

"I'm sorry."