Once Upon A Prostitute

CHAPTER 20 - LULLABY SNORES

Mina's POV

I'm so angry!

I'm not even sure why I'm angry, but I am. I'm angry when I look out the window and see the staff of Crunchies chilling outside their caravans. They're mostly young people and a few older folks. They tend to assemble in small groups in the evenings, chatting and laughing like they don't have a care in the world. They smoke and drink and come home late and get high. Seems they have little or nothing to worry about. They aren't like miss broody. They're so lucky.

I on the other hand, am lying on my bed after a hard day's work and instead of giving in to my exhaustion, I stare at the ceiling. When I'm not worrying, then I'm sad. When I'm not sad then I'm angry. Pathetic really, but I guess that's what I am now. Pathetic!

I'm not angry at them. I will hang out with them if I could. But I happened to inherit Papa's introverted ways, so I find it a little hard to make friends.

I'm angry at life, for throwing me under the bus. As if I didn't have it hard enough back home in Nigeria, I just had to go from frying pan to fire. I'm angry at myself for being stubborn, and not obeying my father's decision. And here I am living the same life I was running from. I'm so weak!

I'm angry at God for letting the ring happen to me...for letting it happen to anyone. I'm trying not to sound blasphemous or anything...but where is the love all my pastors promised? Why let me go through something so terrible if you love me.

I'm angry at Luke for raising my hopes and making me feel like I actually mattered. Wait..no. He didn't do that actually. He never showed me any more affection than he was meant to. So I guess, I'm back at being angry at myself. I became comfortable and allowed myself to hope...and my hopes came crashing down. Like Humpty Dumpty. I'm never having hope or expectations again. It's better you don't expect something, than be disappointed. The fall doesn't hurt much if you're on the ground already.

I stood up from the bed and walked around the caravan, restless. It's eleven pm and I still can't sleep. I look out the window to the couple making out in front of the caravan opposite. They're most likely too drunk or high to care if the whole world sees them. I'm too miserable to watch them. I wish I had a drink, or some weed, or something. I haven't had any since I left the ring but, I'm so sick of feeling like this.

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"So are you coming?" Violet asked. she was inviting me to a party tonight. Turns out there's a club at Crunchies too. They're really doing too much for this little town.

"I don't know." I said while chopping some carrots. Truth is I don't think I have an appropriate outfit. And I'm not going to worry about one extra thing. "Don't we need an ID to get in?"

"It's just a party in a club. Jacob's just renting the venue for he's 18th birthday" she said while doing the dishes. Seems 18th birthdays are a big deal around here.

"Com'on Mina" Violet whined. "Have a little fun. Maybe I should start calling you miss broody too"

"I just love my sleep that's all." Biggest lie of the century.

"The party will end by 12 midnight. Jacob's dad put a curfew on it. Can you imagine that?" She scrunched up her face.

"How nice" I said sarcastically.

She chuckled. "So are you coming?"

I shrugged. Clubbing may not be such a bad idea. It's better than staring at my ceiling. I've gone clubbing a couple of times with clients from the ring, though I never really enjoyed it. I was too tensed up worrying about what will happen later on to let loose.

"Maybe" I told her.

She let out a high pitched scream and turned to face me fully. "Yes, Mina is coming to partyyyyy". She threw her hands in the air and did a funny dance.