COTE: Kiyotaka Random Stories

I'm A Supervillain, So What?: 1

---

Summary: Ayanokoji Kiyotaka is a simple highschool boy who has a secret... He's the supervillain known as "Hornykoji" who has the power of handholding, cuddling and other forms of affection. But being an supervillain comes with its own set of problems. One such problem is that female superheroes always seem to get in his way. And he can't stand them!

---

[Ayanokoji Kiyotaka POV]

I entered my secret base, also known as Seductive Cave. I know it looks lame, but it's extremely useful. It's a place where no one can bother me, since it's in the middle of nowhere.

As I walk through the base, I then see one of my supercomputers starting to gain access to something.

"Welcome back, master." A smooth voice says.

"Oh, Alexa. You're hacking into something again?" I ask.

"As I do everyday." She answers.

"And you're trying to access a server and security of Tokyo Bank once again, right?"

"That is correct, master." Alexa answers.

The woman is beautiful, even with her eyes glowed red from the monitors she's always looking at.

Ever since I made Yamada Alexa, I made sure to keep her equipped with anything she needs. I gave her long black hair, tanned skin and voluptuous body. She has a cutesy red bow on her head and her outfit is a mix of a maid dress and a middle school uniform.

...I turned into a creep didn't I?

"Alexa, why are you trying to steal from the largest bank in Japan?" I ask.

She giggles as an answer. "A woman should have lots of money," she says, "then she can buy whatever she wants!"

I always knew I created her from scratch, but her personality is worse than what I could have possibly thought. So how exactly did I create her?

Well, after my father Professor Ayanokoji managed to create an overpriced computer intelligence, he's been moving on to the next big thing. Artificial Life. He's still working on it, but I know he's close to creating lifelike androids. Seeing as how the task is physically difficult (and probably impossible for me), I opted out of creating something realistic looking and opted for something else.

By installing several monitors in a secret underground room, I made her into a huge supercomputer. She can literally do anything as long as she has the right tools.

Want to hack into the FBI-chan? You got it! Want to know what Pikachu thinks about the latest Pokemon episode? Done and done! Want to find virtually any online game cheat possible? You need to stop playing so much, but sure!

Just don't ask her to cook or clean. She sucks at it. And don't try to make her mad. Even though she's plugged in, she has several firewire ports that can be used to input anything from a simple button to a trailer hookup.

If you think your Xbox gets bad when it overheats or doesn't want to connect to the WiFi, I urge you not to piss off Alexa. The last time I pissed her off, she made my entire room turn into the Minecraft realm until I apologized to her.

"Master, the Tokyo Bank security protocol has been breached! Oooooh, the system is going down!" Alexa says.

Close enough to lifelike.

I walk up the stairs and look at her work.

"So did you finish hacking into the bank's computer system or what?" I ask.

"Yes, yes! I'm done. The funds have been transferred to your off-shore account." Alexa says with a nod. "Do you want the specifics?"

"Nah, just give me the total."

"You now have access to 56.4 million yen," Alexa says, "Would you like to transfer all of it into your personal..."

"Yep."

"Transferring..." she hits a button and a slight whirring sound is heard. "...Success! Your card with the access code has been printed out." Alexa walks out of one of the drawers smiling and holding a debit card.

Alexa hands me the card. "Try it, try it! Let's go!" she says eagerly.

"Uh, okay." Why not? I think to myself.

I enter the nineteen-digit code and after a few moments Alexa smiles.

"Master! Let's go shopping!" she exclaims. Alexa grabs my arm (which is weird since androids aren't supposed to have emotions or any interaction with their masters) and starts pulling me towards the front door.

---