fate ; c.yj + c.sb ✓

vii. saturday - soobin

after having just gotten off today's shift, yeonjun decided to stop at the cafe. a simple elegance was surrounding him as he stepped into the familiar building. he looked around, seeing the booth he always sat in with soobin.

obviously soobin wasn't there. that'd be a strange cliché and yeonjun wouldn't be able to keep from laughing. no, you see, soobin was working. taking orders at the cash register. which somehow seemed worse.

yeonjun paused and sucked in a breath. he couldn't get his legs to move. soobin looked so...well, different.

his hair was a light brown, just like yeonjun remembered. the only thing different about him now was that he had an eyebrow piercing. yeonjun chuckled without thinking. soobin had always wanted a piercing.

the air caught in yeonjun's throat finally broke free and yeonjun realized he'd been holding it. soobin looked over the customer he was with's shoulder and made eye contact with yeonjun, his eyes widening. he looked back at the customer and finished with him as quickly as possible.

yeonjun felt nauseous. all the memories of soobin he'd forced away came flooding in, drowning him with the emotions he tried to destroy with them. he did miss soobin, really. but this was just...wrong? no. he felt out of place. he couldn't pinpoint why.

he felt his eyes begin to water, walking out of the building in a haze.

yeonjun leaned against the building, crying against his better judgement. he wiped his eyes with his sleeve, falling to the ground. he pulled himself into a ball and cried, overwhelmed with the flood of emotions.

the doorbell chimed again and a couple walked out, holding hands and laughing. one of the women paused at yeonjun and ruffled his hair, her girlfriend looking at yeonjun in pity.

"it'll get better."

she set down a small box and continued walking. it seemed around the size of a muffin, but yeonjun wasn't sure. he wiped his eyes and stood up, leaving the box in its place. "someone will actually need it..."

as yeonjun began walking away, the bell's familair "ding!" played again. yeonjun sped up, and a familiar voice calling, "hey!" only made him go faster.

he didn't dare turn around. footsteps were heard behind him, catching up. it was soobin.

"wait, please!"

yeonjun paused for a second, slowly turning around to see an out-of-breath soobin close behind him. he wiped the rest of his tears, trying to hide all evidence that he had been crying.

soobin looked at him, refusing to let the tears fall from his eyes. "yeonjun-"

he couldn't find the words he wanted to say. they were there, but they seemed to get caught in his throat.

"hey."

soobin coughed, trying to hold back the sob in his throat. "how..are you doing? how was america? when did you...get back?"

yeonjun wiped the new tears on his cheeks. "i've been fine. it was...nice. i got back a few months ago. you?"

soobin looked to the ground, the tears finally falling. "i don't know."

yeonjun smiled sadly. "i'm sorry we couldn't make long distance work. i love you and it-"

a sob caught in his throat made him stop. he took a deep breath and began walking again. he realized that he said "i love you" and not "i loved you." he didn't know what to do with this information.

"i'm sorry...yeonjun i'm so sorry," soobin was sobbing.

yeonjun looked at him. "yeah, i'm sorry, too. but hey, that was fate, right? as much as we loved each other, it just wouldn't work."

he was being a total hypocrite. using fate, a concept he didn't even believe in, to make soobin think their relationship ending was supposed to happen. yeonjun thought that, if he'd just had a little more faith in fate, he'd be able to believe that statement.

but as much as he wanted it to be true, it wasn't.

"please...yeonjun, don't go. you're back, we can make it work- "

"lets keep in touch. i'm not ready to..."

he looked down at his shoes. "converse?"

soobin blinked hard. "yeah...your old ones. i wear them whenever i miss you..."

yeonjun's breath hitched, and he slowly turned around.

he began walking away, and for a moment, soobin thought about grabbing his arm. he reached out for him, but stopped midway, pulling his arm back.

yeonjun felt his headache come back stronger than before, but he continued walking, knowing it was because of how hard he'd cried.