I'm still here

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Another week with Phil not hanging out with Tommy and Wilbur, Wilbur is started to get annoyed and frustrated, he's been fussy all this week and I honestly can't blame him. He swore Kristin he love these kids, and so far only Techno is getting that love, and mind you I too love Techno like my own, but that doesn't mean I'll abandon Tommy and Wilbur for him.

Wilbur's been bratty all this week now, and I have to deal with it myself, while attending to Tommy's needs. He won't do school work, won't eat his vegetables like he use to, won't listen to me, and won't pick up his act. Tommy is starting to teeth and it's annoying the hell out of me of his constant cries.

"No I'm not doing it!" Wilbur exclaimed while I bounced a crying Tommy. "Please Wilbur, I need your help very badly," I begged he crossed his arms and looked away sticking his tongue out, with a sigh I made my decision.

"Fine you won't help me, don't expect me to help you William," I declared he looked at me shocked that I used his actually name. "I'll be in my chambers with Tommy, when your ready to act like a good little boy come see me, until then you can stay by yourself and let Agatha take care of you," I said walking out the door and letting the harsh old woman inside to watch Wilbur.

Agatha was an old maid, worked at many kingdoms as a Nursemaid, she was know for her cruel punishments and teachings to children, no future royal raised by her had a personality. Sadly Wilbur is about to be raised by her if he doesn't get his act together.

I rocked the crying child, giving him a baby teething toy. He didn't take much like of it, he threw it in my face after one try so I gave him another, these ones were shaped as disk, and he immediately became distracted by them. I sat in the rocking chair and rocked us both back and forward lying sideways in the chair so we could both sleep.

I was half awake, my eyes were closed yet I was completely aware of my movement and what I heard. Soon I heard the door open slightly and small sniffles and sobs. I kept my eyes closed through. "Y/n...," Wilbur said pulling on my sleeve, I kept my eyes closed though. "Y/n I'm sorry I'll be a good boy I promise, I just got mad that dad won't spend time with me anymore, and moms sick to so she can't spend time with me either," Wilbur said I opened my eyes and got up putting Tommy in the crib I had in my room for him.

I went and got on my knees in front of Wilbur, I cupped his face and wiped his tears away. "Don't cry little one, I'm here," I said he began sobbing more, he wrapped his arms around me and I picked him up and sat us against a wall. He sat there and cried awhile before going into small sniffles. "I'm sorry mama," he said catching me off guard, I didn't want to be their mom, sure I loved them but that wasn't my job.

That was Phil's and Kristin, I wasn't even suppose to be doing this. Being the nursemaid. I was Kristin's guard he lady in waiting. Not the mother of her children. I felt tears stream down my eyes, I felt like I betrayed my bestfriend. "I- it's alright," I said to him, unsure what to do. He fell asleep there so I put him in my bed with me and I held him while he was asleep.

Timeskip

Another morning and right now, I found myself a small break, both of the boys were napping so I went down to the church. I went in the confession booth and waited until my pastor spoke to me.

"Father I am afraid, I was the royal guard for lady Kristin, her bestfriend her lady in waiting some may say, and ever since she grew ill I became a nursemaid for her children. I love them very dearly I do, but at the same time they are not mine to raise, just the other night the oldest had called me their mother, and instead of feeling blessed and happy that I was counted as a mother I felt sorrow, pain, and guilt, for I am not their mother, only the bestfriend of their mother, and I feel as if I betrayed her in a way now that they think I am their mother,"

I confessed, venting my problems to the pastor on the other side, I hardly do this, mainly cause I believe not in a god, but when I need something off my chest I went here.

He told me I should feel those negative feelings, for Kristin is sick and she would have wanted me to care for her children like my own, to raise them. After that I left and went back home.

The boys woke up by the time I entered the palace, Wilbur held Tommy walking around looking for me. "I'm here Wilbur, what's wrong?" I asked kneeling to his height. "You were missing and Tommy was crying," he said, I frowned grabbing the baby from him.

"Your hungry aren't ya little guy," I said touching his little button nose, he grabbed my finger and baffled baby noises. "Come on Wilbur let's go get you and Tommy food ay?" I said, Wilbur nodded and took my hand. As we walked in the halls I looked out the window to high for Wilbur to see out off and saw Phil with Techno.

I saw him mouth me an apology and a thank you. I ignored it, clearly upset with him. The boys ate and then played a bit, after it was time for them to sleep. I wondered the castle as the slept, somehow running into Phil. "Y/n I'm sorry truly," he said, I scoffed placing the torch I had in hand in a torch holder. "If you were sorry you would visit Tommy and Wilbur by now, did you know Wilbur had a big tantrum that lasted a week because you weren't their to spend time with him," I whispered shouted.

"I'm sor-," he started I shushed him. "It's late and the boys are sleep," I whispered, he nodded. "How could I make it up to you and them?" Phil whispered to me. "Spend the entire day tomorrow with Wilbur and Tommy, I'll spend the day with Techno and only If it's an emergency you can come see me," I told him, he nodded.

"Thank you y/n...," I heard someone say, Phil didn't move his lips once so I quickly turned around and saw nothing.

"Are you alright?" Phil asked me, I turned back to him and nodded. "Just...cautious," I said still looking around. "I'm sure it was just the wind y/n," he said I nodded and grabbed my torch again. "We should really install torches here, we don't want any mobs to come," I said he nodded with a chuckle. "Come on Phil I'll take you back to your room," I said he nodded.

We walked to his room and I followed him inside. "Dude I am offended how dare you just have a random bookshelf this big in here," I said looking at the many books. He laughed. "Night Phil the book horder," I said he began laughing more as I left.

I found myself staring at a portrait of Kristin, I have yet to go visit her, none of us had. I figure it's about time we went, she must be lonely.

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