part seventeen

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Leila POV

"You've been awfully quiet," Nat pipes up from the couch. We've been watching a random movie that was on the tv, our eyes attached to the moving figures on the screen.

I turn my head to where Nat is and shrug. How do you tell your best friend who you met through your husband that you've been doing things behind his back? She'd never forgive me and neither would Steve.

"It's been a long day," I reply. It's not necessarily a lie. After the whole escapade in Sam's office earlier today I came home and finished up some more work. It was like what I did with Bucky drained me completely and I had the hardest time finishing the work day.

The clock was ticking towards night time and Nat and I planned on ordering in and watching whatever movie was showing on tv tonight. We had the leftover take out boxes of our Chinese food splayed on the coffee table with our glasses of water.

"I notice things." Nat says bluntly from her seat. I can feel her eyes burning into me so I finally sigh and turn my body towards her on the couch. I fiddle with my fingers on my lap and look up at her.

"I've been dealing with a lot. Steve's gone... it's just been hard." I finally breathe out. My vision flashes back to this morning when I was with Bucky in Sam's office. I shudder slightly, remembering how I was trying to be all coy and dominant and then Bucky completely overrode me with his dominance. I've never experienced that before and it was intoxicating.

Nat cocks her head to the side and pierces her lips. I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. "What have you been noticing?"

Nat takes a deep breath before answering. "Something is going on between you and Steve. He won't tell me and you're obviously doing a good job at hiding it. But ever since Moscow..." Nat shrugs and leans over to the coffee table in front of us to grab her glass of water. She lays the bottom of the glass on her lap and continues. "You haven't worn your ring the whole time I've been here. You wake up in cold sweats from your nightmares and won't tell me what they're about."

All I can do is stare back at Nat and think of what I could possibly say to that. My heart is beginning to race and I can feel my neck create sweat droplets. My fingers subconsciously go to my left hand and rub the ring finger that's missing the gorgeous diamond and gold wedding band. I'm a basket case and Nat is seeing through my bullshit.

"You can tell me," Nat breathes heavily. She scoots closer to me on the couch to close the distance between us. "If something is happening to your marriage, I want to be able to support you. Steve and I only spoke about it once while we were on the plane to come here. He cares about you and wants the best for you. Even if it's not him."

Her words pierce my skin like a hot blade and I wince. They talked on the plane and Steve didn't mention it that night he stayed with me a couple days ago.

"What did you guys talk about?" I lean in the cushion I'm sitting on and Nat scratches her cheek.

"I asked him some questions and he answered them pretty logically." Her eyes move from my eyes to the coffee table. "I kind of mentioned how I asked you if you had cold feet at the wedding..."

My eyes widen and I can feel the heat rise to my face. "You did what?!"

Nat raises her hands in surrender as she takes in my reaction. "Lei! I just wanted to see what he thought about everything since it's been a couple months since the wedding. He laughed about it and that was it. He was kind of mad at me actually, for questioning your readiness to marry him."

I shake my head and bury my head in my hands. Great, what else did Nat spill to Steve without me knowing?

"What else did you tell him or discuss with him on the plane?"

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