evanie ~ ciarán mcdonald

15.

i sat on the stage, playing on matts phone as the boys were doing a final sound check before the show tonight. i havent brought myself to talk to ciaran this morning but i was going to break up with matt before i go home. it was just too much. i just didn't know how.

"hey"

"hey" i mumbled, looked up at him then looked back down at matts phone

"so you're still thinking of going home?"

"yeah"

"come with me" he said, reaching his hand out for me to stand up

"why?" i looked at ciaran in disgust

"because im not allowed to smoke in here and we need to talk. whats with the attitude?"

"what attitude?"

"you know what i mean, this isn't the same evanie i met two months ago. now c'mon" i took his hand and stood up, following him outside

"so what did you want to talk about?"

"us"

"don't you have a girlfriend now?"

"claire's not my girlfriend"

"cool"

"why are you being like this? i thought we were meant to be friends evanie" he put the cigarette between his lips and pulled a lighter out of his pocket, lighting it, i just watched and admired "ev?"

he was so hot, evanie stop it.

"ciaran im breaking up with matt. b-before i go home"

"shit. ok" he sounded surprised "like, for real this time?"

"yeah. i need to be alone for a while, find myself and all that shit"

"good for you, but thats gonna fuck him up"

"i know. but staying with him will too, imagine what he'll do if he finds out about us- what we did. you would be known as the guy who stole his bandmates girlfriend. i think its best for us both-"

"he needs you, evanie, more than i. before he met you he was a wreck, fucked up. his dad had passed away so he was on drugs, drinking all day, he was ruining himself. you brought his happiness back. i dont want to be the reason he loses it again."

but what if i've lost mine too.