TORMENT (Harry Potter Sequel)

Chapter Thirty Six

The morning was cold. Really cold. A murky, blinding, white as snow fog had invaded the streets of London concealing most of it from view. The mist crept menacingly through the streets, a harsh wind accompanying it. The night had been rough and the rain from before still persisted, yet thankfully it had lessened a little bit. Tom had spent the night wandering the streets, avoiding all those who might be involved with Dushane's gang. He could tell his good terms with them were coming to an end. He clutched his bag with his 'stuff' in it. He was glad that he picked this up before he left; he'd need what was in it at Hogwarts.

Hogwarts.

How would life be back at Hogwarts? Tom hadn't thought about that. He didn't really care right now. He pushed the thoughts out of his head and began heading to Kings Cross station.

He got on the Hogwarts Express as soon as he could. He didn't want to spend any more time on the platform or on the streets than he had to. He'd noticed the clock had said 7:30 before he got on the train. He was slightly surprised at that. He'd been up for almost 24 hours. He knew the fatigue would set in soon. He'd just felt so much adrenaline from the night before it made sense he wouldn't just fall down but he knew that inevitably he was going to have to rest.

'I'll be able to sleep on the train journey,' he told himself, 'It's not like there's going to be anybody to talk to.'

A feeling of emptiness overtook him again. He remembered what had happened the year before. His eyes glazed over. He still found himself unable to change his expression- not that he wasn't used to it by now. He lay back in his seat and stared up at the ceiling. The outside of the window was entirely mist so there was no point looking out. He stayed like that for a few minutes. The train was completely silent. There weren't any sounds from the engine. None from the floorboards. None from the platform. Nothing. The area was completely isolated. All that could be heard was the feeble sound of the harsh winds outside against the glass of the window.

Tom reached into his inside pocket. He'd not bothered to put on his uniform. Tom pulled out the letter from his parents. He didn't take it out of its envelope. He'd already read it. He didn't want it to accidentally get ruined or something. Tom sighed as he looked at it. It still bewildered him. This whole situation.

'I mean... what the fuck happened.'

He weakly returned the letter back to where it'd resided in his inside pocket and hung his head down low.

"Why don't... I feel better?" Tom asked the question he'd wondered internally out loud. He hadn't meant to but there was clearly no one around so what was the harm?

He'd been wishing his whole life for a family. For parents. For parents that loved him. And now he knew that, even if they were dead, he knew it to be true. He did have parents! There were people who loved him at least at one point in time. The matron had been telling him his whole life not only that he was nothing but that he was always nothing and now he knew that to all be a lie. Oh and the matron...

Tom held his head in his hands. The matron, the matron. The matter of the matron was... complicated. Tom didn't even know what to think. Hatred, anger, sadness, guilt, awkwardness.

All Tom knew was that he wasn't lying when he said he wasn't coming back to that orphanage. He wasn't- he'd made up his mind. That was it for that place. He was never coming back, not to the orphanage or that area ever again. After this year he was going to find his own way in the world. He didn't know where he'd go or where'd he even look but he'd have to find somewhere.

'It doesn't matter much anyway now,' Tom thought to himself, 'I have a whole year to think about it.'

And then his mind drifted to the topic of Hogwarts. He didn't want to think about it. He grumbled something inaudible under his breath. He was so sick of everything.