How To Tame An Empress (BOOK I)

Chapter 37- The Sun & The Moon

--Valeria POV--

"Good morning, mama," Evander bent down, kissing my cheek on his way to his seat for breakfast, across from me. It was a beautiful day and I found myself wanting to do something fun, but then I realised that I was just an animal trapped in a cage...

"Good morning," Dismissing my pessimistic thoughts, I replied with a smile to my first child, watching as he got comfortable in his seat.

"Morning, mama," Ambrogio followed his older brother into the room, kissing my temple before sitting down beside me on the table. "Father," He nodded to Stacius who was sat at the head, too busy with reading through the parchment in his hand to bother replying.

"What do you plan on doing today?" I started a conversation, biting into my food as I did.

"I have to do some training today, and then after that, I have a few meetings that I must attend. I also plan on viewing the daily briefing with father today," Evan said, already looking tired just at the thought of the busy day that lied ahead.

"Well, don't work too hard. You must get enough rest too," He smiled at my words before continuing with his meal.

"And what about you Gio?" I asked my second son who looked like he was dozing off. "Did you not get enough sleep?" I asked, outstretching a hand and brushing the tendrils of hair away from his face.

"I am alright, mama," He yawned, blinking a few times to get rid of the tiredness before he sipped on his glass of water and sent me an assuring look.

"Yes, mama. Ambrogio is always tired... This lazy brother of mine," Evan chuckled, jokingly glaring at the man and hearing his words, it was as if the tiredness vanished from Ambrogio's mind when he glared at Evan.

"You be silent. If you were half as smart as me then maybe you would understand where this tiredness of mine comes from," He grumbled, shoving a pancake into his mouth.

"Do not mock me, brother, I am the future Emperor of this Empire. Angering me is like begging for death," Evan laughed and I laughed along with him. 

These brothers are always bickering and lunging for each other's throat, but they are the best of friends when the time counts. Of course, they would never admit that but actions speak louder than words with these two.

We continued to eat, the room filled with laughter except for Stacius's silence as he was busy with work but once our meal was over and Ambrogio and Evan left us, Stacius and I walked hand in hand around the garden for a few minutes until it was time for him to leave.

"Come find me if you get bored," Placing his hands on my cheeks, he kissed the top of my head as I nodded along to his words.

As if it had become a tradition for me, I moved to walk around the large garden after bidding my husband farewell, Claude standing guard close behind me. 

After what happened to Linus, I didn't want to endanger anyone else's life by befriending them so I tried my best to stay away from anyone, the same couldn't be said about Claud. He was different from Linus who used to always have a smile on his face, Claudius was a quiet man that didn't talk unless spoken to.

Since he became my bodyguard all those years ago, we've been forced to spend a lot of time with each other and over the years, we've become good friends but I work hard to ensure that my husband doesn't suspect anything.

This innocent relationship should, in no way, ever feel like a forbidden sin; the only person I feel guilty to is Claud for the clear reason that I fear his life will be in danger if Stacius is to ever find out that I care for him.

"All the flowers are starting to wilt," I stated as a matter of fact as I lightly touched one of the petals of the delicate flowers.

"Well, that is to be expected. Winter is approaching after all," Claud spoke from behind me. I paused for a moment and turned my head over my shoulder to look at him as he stood as straight as a pole with his hands crossed behind his back.

Turning back to look at the flower, I glanced over the rest of the plants before moving my eyes forward and continuing along the trail, walking slowly to revel in this dying beauty.

"I used to love the winter..."

"Used to?" Claud asked.

"Despite the cold temperatures, the snowfall would be beautiful. I would enjoy the sight of the white coats covering this empire with my family while drinking a warm beverage... It was fun..." I smiled at the memory, praying for those days to be back.

"With Stacius, when we were still newlyweds, I'd cuddle with him and we'd take warm baths together and laugh in front of the fire as he told me stories about his childhood and I did the same to him..." My feet paused in their strides and I noticed my hands becoming numb, looking down I saw that I was clenching onto the fabric of my tunic.

And slowly, I tilted my head back, looking up at the distant sky with those white clouds that I used to find shapes in with Balbina... All those happy days of laughter; I should have cherished them so much more.

"I miss them," I whispered, biting down on my lip when my voice cracked.

My mother is dead, my father is dead and I know that Balbina is alive and well with her family but she may as well be dead because I haven't heard from her in years because of Stacius's threat. Julius is my brother but he is always busy and with Stacius and I do not want to be anywhere near Stacius.

"Winter used to be so much fun... but now... Now it is so lonely..."

"Valeria... I am sorry," I turned away from the sky and looked at Claud who had a regretful and frustrated look on his face.

To ease the sudden tension, I released a short fake laugh and he looked at me, confused. "Why are you sorry when you have nothing to be sorry for?" I asked, moving forward to pat his cheek. He coughed out a small laugh and covered my hand with his.

"The first time I met you at the colosseum, I was taken by your eyes, they were shining so brightly despite the dark, looming husband that was stood on your side. You and him, standing side-by-side, reminded me of the sun and the moon... but now... It is as if his shadow has completely overtaken you... and for that I am sorry,"

Slowly, I dropped my hand from his cheek and smiled a small, sad smile at him, not being able to say anything because it was all so true.

"I am sorry that I was not able to do anything... You are an amazing woman, Valeria and I wish every day that you would have been able to end up with a man that deserved you and cherished the brightness of your soul,"

At first, I was happy, beyond happy. I thought Stacius was too good a man to be true, I thanked the gods every day for gifting me with a man that made me happy and cared for me.

But now I see how big a fool I was.

With every secret of his that I unravelled, I took steps closer to the broken reality that was him, the scary man that didn't know the meaning of freedom... Now that I think about it, I wonder how different things would have been if I never let curiosity control me. If I pretended to be ignorant and the perfect docile wife for him; would he have let go of the leash that he attached to me for even a little bit, to let me breathe? Would he?

On that day I met him... If I had never come to the palace in the first place to meet my brother... If I never bumped into Stacius that day... Where would I be now?

The difference between Stacius and I is just as Claud says; like the sun and the moon. And I don't think the two of us were ever supposed to meet.

...