The Darkness Within (ON TEMPORARY HOLD)

The Beginning

It was a beautiful cloudy day in the meadow, flowers bloomed as far as the eye could see. The wind was blowing all around me making the flowers look like a rainbow sea. A beautiful sea of colors that imprinted themselves in your memory. My brunette hair was flying all around my face as I looked at the scenery. Clouds scuttled across the cerulean blue sky, bunching together as they hit the line of mountains.

I can still remember the smell of fresh air that had blown around me on that fateful day. I had been taking a break from household chores as the 'spring cleaning' season had come around, and my mother was very eager to clean house. We had guests that were coming, a rival pack come to talk peace with our alpha. It was custom for the beta of the pack to place them in a guest room at their home, a sign of peace.

I had needed a breath as mom had gone full on cleaning demon. I had been so relaxed that day. I had been full of anticipation as well, for I had just turned 18, which meant that I could now find my long-awaited soul-mate.

My thoughts turned dark as I remembered why I had not had that chance. They had snuck up behind me in a flash. I had had no time to scream or fight them off. I had been taken.

That was a year ago today.

For months I had hoped that either my family or my unknown mate would find me and save me from the animals that had kidnapped me. But today I was letting go of that hope. It hadn't done me any good. With my hope leaving me my fighting spirit was quenched as well. Why should I continue fighting if there was no hope anymore?

My wolf tried to cheer me up, but it was no use I told her. What are the chances they are even still looking? It would be unwise of my pack to keep searching. The finances spent would not be worth it if they hadn't lost the beta heir. My brother Cam was first in line anyways, I was there just in case they lost him. But they hadn't. Just me.

I tried not to dwell on the morbid thoughts as I looked through the window at the cold moon. Why had the moon goddess cursed me to this lonely and painful fate? Was I too cruel to anyone in my pack? Had I unknowingly disobeyed my family or my alpha? Closing my eyes I let out a heavy sigh. These thoughts weren't much better then the ones before. I just couldn't help it anymore. My life so far had given me plenty of reasons to be bitter and pessimistic.

I hadn't found out who had taken me until three months later. Around that time I think they had begun to be cocky in the fact that my pack hadn't found them yet. My food had been shoved through a tiny old door, but when they had become confident that I was firmly in their grasp, they came in confidently with a small platter of food. This food some would throw at me, some would spit in it, and some would shove it in my face. When they had done these things, initially i would attack them. I was still proud that i had almost killed one of them. That was, until they knocked me silly and shoved me in a barred wooden shack out near the woods. That was when my misery had reached a new level.

They had taken me during the spring, so it would gave been nice then. But summer wherever we were was miserable. I sweat so profusely that I would often pass out from dehydration.

Then fall came. And then winter. This shack was no barrier at all to the elements. I might as well have been thrown out in the dead of winter naked.

I had nearly died. But for some reason this pack of barbarians wouldn't let me. For some reason, they would give me just enough to keep my dilapidated body going. Month, after agonizing, month.

Today though. I stopped counting the days.  Counting only made my isolation worse and my pessimism greater. Depression set in long ago. My wrists bore witness to this. I would have passing moments where I felt blissfully dead inside, and then I would be rocked by a world shaking grief.

My wolf tried to help at first, but whatever was wrong with me was slowly affecting her. She randomly had fits of rage, and soul-sucking sadness.

She and I now understood what life without a mate was like. We could feel the empty part of us aching to be filled with the one person who had the other half of us. And that was worse then any physical pain we could ever go through. We knew that the possibility of that void being filled was shrinking with every day that passed.

I hadn't had the chance to ever really have someone explain to me what having a mate would be like, and in turn, I also didn't know what the consequences of not finding your mate could be. So the pain and emptiness that my wolf and I felt came as an unpleasant shock to us.

I touched the place where my heart lay as a familiar ache rocked through my wounded chest. Looking down I saw that I had patterns of bruises that covered any exposed flesh that I had. Where I had once been tan and toned, I was now pale and to thin and covered in layers of blotchy purples, yellows, and browns. But the physical bruises I could handle. What I still couldn't handle was the way the men had begun to treat me. I still felt the imprint of their greasy hands. They had left the most important part of me intact, but I was beginning to wonder how long that would last as I was coming further into my womanhood. My wolf snarled at the thought, 'only our mate should touch us that way. We are his, and his ONLY'. I nodded my agreement.

Once again, for what felt like the millionth time, I prayed to the silent moon goddess that my mate would find me before they broke that last and most sacred part of me.

***

Thanks for reading guys, and sorry about anything that was misspelled!! Let me know what you guys think!

Update: This is kind of how I picture her looking :)