The Darkness Within (ON TEMPORARY HOLD)

Home Again

Days passed as I ran towards my pack lands. Before a run like this wouldn't have phased me and I could have kept a steady pace for days. But I could feel how week my body was even in Ambers usually powerful form. My needs being greater and more frequent then ever before. What should be taking a few days  has taken me nearly a week now.

Thinking back to the beginning when I had left was painful. The free feeling had faded fast as my fatigue had grown. My paws had developed bleeding blisters and my sides had been lathered in sweat. On that first day every noise that the foreign forest had made had my heart pounding out of my chest with terror. Every animal that jumped from a bush and away from my path left me weak and panting. My newfound freedom was not as relaxing and joyous as I had thought it would be. Among others of my kind it wouldn't have been as terrifying, but alone and with no one but Amber had made the shadows seem longer and the sounds of the forest more malicious and deadly.

I was finally feeling some semblance of normalcy as I had been traveling and eating consistently, my body's muscles coming back more quickly in Amber's form. I had to keep reminding myself to pace myself in my human form so that I don't overdo it. Changing to my form was horrible now. The skin and muscles I had been so proud of before were nothing in the shadows of my visible ribs and bony limbs. The scars that laced themselve against my pasty skin were a humble reminder that I would never be the same again.

Shaking my head against the lonely thoughts I tried to occupy my exhausted thoughts with things that I might still be able to look forward to when I got home.

Pausing my walk I stopped near a tree and rested against it, slipping to the bottom of the trunk. Closing my eyes I pictured the look of my family and friends when they found out I was still alive. Alice, my best friend since we were cubs, would probably punch my arm and then start crying before she would tackle me in one of her infamous bear hugs.

The corners of my lips moved in the shape of a smile, how I had missed her bear hugs! My mind turned towards thoughts of my family.  My brother would probably laugh in relief and give me the biggest noogie that he could ever possibly give me while Mom would be so happy that she probably wouldn't know what to do with herself and end up just cooking one of her big feasts that all our packmates loved to come to. My dad... My eyes pricked with emotion, he would look at me sternly and then open his arms wide while he tried to maintain his form.

Sighing I opened my eyes and glanced up at the night-fallen sky, stars poured out on it with a celestial brilliance. How was I going to face them? Aside from finally being home I couldn't erase my scent... And Amber wasn't the same. Aside from running she didn't speak to me anymore, when we rested she would curl her mind away from me. When we would hunt, she attacked with such a brutality that I didn't recognize her, prey that we used to leave alone she sought after with a mind numbing malice.

There were things I couldn't imagine reactions to and i'm not sure how ready I am to face them. Amber's mind was still far away from me and I could barely feel her thoughts touch mine. Concerned I reached towards her. 'Amber?' I felt the thrum of hurt as I felt her consciousness drift past mine as she ignored me. 

I sighed and let my sleepy eyes drift. I wouldn't push her... It was still too soon...

Dreams and nightmares plagued my mind as soon as sleep took me. Frightening faces clawed at my body and ripped at my heart, my breath coming in gasps and sometimes feeling like it stopped for eternity until it picked up again and paralysis overtook me finally shaking and screaming myself awake. Gasping deap lungfulls of air I wiped me sweaty forehead and sighed with exhaustion. Another thing I wpuld probably have to explain to my family.

Getting up I paused to stretch my stiff muscles and decided to switch places with Amber. Who had been waiting silently for a couple days to be released.

Shaking her fur out, Amber began to run in the quiet daylight. The only thought that gave me a sense of peace and hope was the fact that I was getting closer to my home. The forest around me was starting to feel familiar and Amber was  perking up with tue sense of familiarity and family.

Continuing another day we began to smell the scent paths of our pack members and Amber let out an exhausted little yip her spirit finally lifting from the hate-filled void she had been in. Putting her nose the the forest floor she picked up the scent of our brother and in combined euphoria we threw our head up and let out the biggest howl we had made in the longest time.

Not seconds after, we heard a unison of familiar howls pick up from a little ways across the valley of our pack lands. With new found vigor Amber and I lifted our tail high and rushed up the hill that acted as an entrance to our lands, eager to meet with our family after so long.