92 days

twelve

There's tiny time jumps in this chapter, I hope they aren't confusing!

Annie's POV

My feet are sore and aching, my head is pounding, my eyelids are heavy, and I'm so ready to arrive home and jump into slumber.

It takes everything in me not to snatch my shoes off in the car at this very second.

Running around the dining hall, being dragged into conversation with everyone who meets my gaze was severely exhausting.

Is this what it feels like to be the 'life of the party'?

If so, I think i'm good for the rest of my life.

Turning my back to Roman after our conversation felt painful. It was a pain I have never felt before, and that's why it's hard for me to describe it.

I keep telling myself that I did the right thing...but is it really the right thing If i have to keep reminding myself that it is? I shake my doubts away, letting them dissolve into nothing so they don't affect my decisions.

I hate the way he occupies my thoughts. His stupid grin flashing into my mind every time I mention his name in my head.

Soon, i'll forget about him. Then all of this will stop.

I'm leaning my head on the cool car window, keeping my eyes on the ivory-colored moon, wondering who else is looking at the same time. This might just be the drowsiness...but I give props to the sun and the moon. They seem so alone, lighting everyone's darkness.

Back in New York, I used to watch the moon for hours upon hours at night. I'd just sit there staring at it. Now that I think about it, I don't really know why I did it. I remember loosing so much sleep over it too. Nothing was running through my head either, it was just my eyes and the moon in the dark of the night. No disturbances, just the low sounds of cars honking in the streets from a mile away.

The best part of these gatherings is the car ride home. My mother is too tired and tipsy to talk, and my father is always just quiet. Leaving the atmosphere in pure silence, no voices erupting the peace.

"Annie.." My mother murmurs, half awake.

So much for peace.

"Hmm?"

"You're so lonely." She stirs, attempting to turn back to face me, but her drowsiness limits her movement. "Why don't you make any friends?"

I stay silent.

She won't remember anything I say once she wakes up tomorrow, so there's no trying to converse with her right now.

Such an idiotic question to ask though, even if she's tipsy. The reason I hardly talk to anyone is because of her.

I notice my fathers eyes through the rear-view mirror, giving me a knowingly look about mothers current state. I nod in understanding, peering back out into the night.

She conceals her true emotions. My mother. She keeps them hidden under this perfect outlook. Every hard-shelled person has been through something that caused them to appear the way they do.

At least I think that, and she just hasn't told me yet.

I hope this isn't truly her.

-

I got the job...

It's 2am, and I just got an email saying I got the job.

sitting up on my bed, I start rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand just in case i'm seeing things.