92 days

twenty-two

Bye I'm freaking out, thank you for 7k reads oh my gosh.

This was a fun chapter to write, so I hope you like it :)

Roman

11pm

She ran her fingers through my hair while I lied back with my head on her lap as we sat on the hardwood floors in front of her bed.

Her eyes were locked on the television while I watched her smile at the scenes of the movie she claimed to have seen over five times throughout her life.

Stand by me

A classic 1986 film that she seems to be obsessed with.

I was going in and out of consciousness due to the relaxing feeling of her fingers traveling through the locks of my hair and the low humming of the television.

When she started doing the gentle action I didn't stop her. I was exhausted and I haven't slept in almost two days, this was the closest I was getting to slumber.

When you have a mom that relies on alcohol and drugs to keep her sanity, it keeps you up at night. The fear that she won't wake up one day and the fear of making another call that could change everything once again. 

"Why do you like this movie so much?" I murmured, listening to four kids constantly insult each other.

She darted her eyes down to mine, pausing her relaxing motions through my hair almost like she was embarrassed. I wanted to tell her to keep going.

"You're so quiet, I thought you were asleep." She replied softly through a smile.

"I was for a few minutes." I kept my gaze on her. "Are you going to answer the question?"

She looked back up at the tv and hummed in reflection as if she never asked herself the question before.

With a small shrug of her shoulders she says, "I guess it makes me feel like I'm not lonely."

She covers up the word lonely with a faint laugh, taking away from the real hurt behind the short sentence. I watched the glimmer in her eyes fade from enjoyment to heaviness, like something was weighing her down.

"Will you watch the movie?" She looks down with a smile, catching my staring. "I promise it's way more interesting than me."

"No..." I lift my head up from her lap. "I think you're interesting."

She shakes her head in denial.

I sit up completely so that I'm next to her, leaning back against the bed. "Tell me something you're passionate about."

Her eyes dart to mine, then back to the TV. "It's not a topic you'd be interested in." She muttered out.

"Maybe, maybe not." I chuckled. "Just tell me."

She toys with the silver bracelet around her wrist, clearly hesitant to talk about it, but I still waited.

"Okay. It's about the moon and the stars." She spit out quickly.

Well she was right, I'm not interested in the topic but she could make me interested.

I remember that one night on the beach when she was speaking confidently about hummingbirds... before that—I couldn't care less about the birds, but for some reason she made me think about how unique the species actually are.

I won't tell her that though.

"I'll listen."

"You will?" She asked, almost flabbergasted with the two words.