The Holy Grail Of Tayler Holder

Feelings (4)

I rushed to my room! I was literally so excited! I finally had a chance to get to know y/n one on one! A Date. Okay...well maybe I didn't tell her it was a date, but is that really bad? I went straight to the closet. I had to look at least presentable. Right now I was in an old ugly hoodie and some sweatpants. What to wear? I skimmed my closet until, I settled on a maroon colored hoodie and some black skinny jeans. I argued with myself about weather or not I wanted to wear converses or slides. I decided on some slides. I looked in the mirror lining my wall and I smiled. I look decent. Lastly I needed to find some cologne. I looked at my dresser. Now, I know this doesn't seem like a hard choice but when you have a pretty girl you're interested in you really put thought into smelling good. Eventually, I chose Armani. I misted some in the air and walked through it. The smell surrounded me and I knew Y/n would love the smell.

As I came through the hallway y/n was coming out of the guest room. She had changed into a cute outfit. She had on a jean overall jumper, white converses and a pineapple crop top underneath. Her hair was in a ponytail. She looked at me; "Are you ready," She asked walking past me as she did I got a whiff of perfume she was wearing I recognized it almost immediately. My mind flashed back to one of the first dates me and my ex had went on. Tangled Blooms;Victoria Secrets. I swallowed really hard following behind her. I didn't say anything untill we were in my car.

"Tayler," She said giving my shoulder a push;" are you okay?" I snapped back to reality, "Yeah I'm fine," I said starting the engine; "Where do you wanna go?" I heard Y/n sigh; "I was thinking Subway," She answered, looking over at me. I seen her eyes shift down giving a glance looking at my arms. I couldn't help but smile, I knew she was checking me out. Score one for Tayler. "Subway sounds good actually," I smiled, putting the car in drive. We took off.

For the first few minutes of the drive it was quiet, I didn't know what to say to her. I glanced over at her. She was sitting with her legs crossed in the front seat, she was leaning on the door with her phone in front of her face and she was chewing on her lip. She looked cute, as the car came to a stop light her eyes looked over my way and we made eye contact. "Are you staring at me?" She asked in a flirtatious voice. I swear I was imagining. "Maybe" I shrugged; "you're cute I can't help it" I said. I pressed the gas and the car started moving again.
"You think I'm cute?" I heard the blush in her voice. I shook my head. "Of course. I knew you were cute the minute I seen you in my shirt Friday morning, it's honestly a sight I can get used too. " I exclaimed. My eyes slide over to her giving her a quick up & down. "Oh, really!?" Again I heard the blush in her voice. We came to another stop light, giving me a moment to make eye contact with her. "Well..." She started; " I think you're cute too..." she let just the tinniest grin lift up the corners of her mouth. " Is that so?" I chuckled whilst she nodded her head. Moments later, we were pulling into a plaza that had a Subway. I parked the car and we both got out. We made our way to the door which I opened for her and ushered her inside. A thank you had just left her lips when I turned the towards the counter I stopped dead in my tracks. My heart began to race obnoxiously fast standing behind the counter was my ex....Emmaleigh.

We made eye contact at the same and she smiled. I didn't know what do. I just stood there. My face began feeling hot, my body began sweating & I felt like the walls were getting smaller...(you may feel like there is an over reaction...but I was with her for 3 whole years...) I quickly turned around and went back outside. I was so dizzy I felt like I was gonna pass out. I took a seat on the curb. The door for subway opened up and Y/n came rushing after me.

"Tayler? What the hell are you okay?" She sat down next to me facing me; "You look like you just seen a ghost" she said softly. Fuck. I didn't say much I just shook my head. I can't tell her not right now... "Can we just go somewhere else?" I asked her. She starred at me for a moment as if she had more questions but she didn't push it. I thanked her in my head for that.
"That's fine. Come on," she stood up holding out her hand. I looked up at her with questioning eyes but didn't hesitate as I took her hand and stood up. We walked back to my car holding hands. I don't want to admit it but holding her hand calmed my nerves. But it also made me realize that I needed to get over Emmaleigh before I could even think about being with Y/n. The way I just reacted in Subway speaks enough for it's self.

"You wanna get some Chipotle," I asked, leaving the parking lot to Subway. "That sounds good," Y/n exclaimed with a cheeky grin. I laughed but soon it returned to silence as we drove through the streets of Los Angeles. There was a string of awkwardness that had wrapped it's self around us. I knew by the end of today I needed to tell her why I stormed off like that. I probably embarrassed myself & y/n worse than if I had just stayed and faced Emmaleigh. I knew I couldn't have avoided her forever. Eventually the sign for Chipotle came into view. I pulled in the parking lot and hopped out, I went around to Y/n's side and opened up the door. She got out and thanked me as we headed inside.

Inside, we ordered our food and found a table. Now, this is really when the awkwardness set in. I had no idea what do talk about with her. So I sat and stared at my food. I had a feeling she was super curious as to the events that just took place & my mind kept flashing back to Subway. Seeing Emmaleigh & her smile thinking about it now it sent shivers down my spine. Cheating on me....is that something to smile about? It hurt to think about it. Her smile was deceiving. I wondered if she smiled as she was cheating on me. That made my stomach drop and I lost my appetite. I turned my head to look out the window. I counted the cars that passed by untill Y/n said my name.

"Tayler....Hey," I felt her hand rest on my forearm; "What's wrong?" I looked over into her eyes, they had the same look of compassion as the night before. I thinking of that...made my eyes water a little. "I..." I mumbled shaking my head looking down at the ground; " I just seen my ex" it felt like it took years for me to say that sentence. But when I did an entire weight was lifted of my shoulders and then the word vomit came up; "I was with her for 3 years and she cheated on me. We broke up about 4 months ago....when I seen her today I had a sudden rush of overbearing emotions...sorta like a Panic Attack...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stormed off like that...it just felt like the world was getting smaller...I probably looked like a f-"

Y/n cut me off; "Tayler don't finish that sentence" her eyes said it all. I smiled weakly and took her hand that was on my forearm, I held it in my hands. She didn't object and I crossed our fingers. Being with her made me feel stronger. We managed to finish our meal and we headed back to the house. I knew this girl was starting to change how I felt. About the world. About everything. I knew deep down I was starting to have feelings for her & I wondered the same.