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✨じゅうなな✨

:)💚

*Chenle's POV*

I felt faint. I hadn't slept properly the past few days. Jisung hadn't shown any movement for a few weeks since the last time he did. I had tons of things to take care of at the company. I looked at Jisung on the hospital bed, a bunch of wires and tubes leading from his body to so many other machines. My eyes teared up a bit but I blinked them back. If he ever did wake up, I didn't want to have puffy red eyes.

My hands reached for a bottle placed beside my chair. I uncapped the bottle and took a sip of the water. I barely felt it wash down my dry throat. I needed to sleep but I had a feeling that he would wake up and I wanted to be the first one to see it. Too much to ask for.

I bent down to keep the bottle back down. I was about to lift my head up but I sensed some kind of movement on the bed. My head snapped up to see Jisung. He was still and I convinced myself I was hallucinating. I was gonna ignore it but I heard a cough.

He moved.

"Chenle?" I heard him say. It was barely a whisper and his lips had only the most subtle movement.

My eyes couldn't help but let out the tears. I was gonna celebrate and get a doctor but I felt something trying to clasp my hand. I looked at Jisung who seemed to try to say something. I leaned closer, trying hard to make out the words.

"I'm sorry. That. I couldn't. Ugh." He winced.

"Baby. Jisungie. I'm gonna go get the doctor. Please stay awake. Just give me a second. I'll be right back." I tried negotiating since he seemed way too weak.

"No. Wait. I just need to say I love you. And I'm sorry."

I felt his grip on my hand.

"It hurts."

I wiggled my hands out of his grip and dashed out of the white room. I rushed to the first nurse I spotted.

"Patient in room 127. He moved and he's in pain. Please. Could you get a doctor?" I rapped out, my heart beat faster than it should be.

"Yes sir. Right away."

I saw the nurse run in her short heel-cut shoes, talking to another person at a corner. In moments a bunch of doctors and nurses rushed into the room. In a matter of a few many seconds, I saw Jisung rushed out on a different stretcher. I saw him smile at me, not matching his dying state. I wanted to run after him but I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Please don't run after him. We're going to try our hardest to keep him with us. His heart... it didn't seem to be able to keep up. Take a seat. I'll get some water."

I felt the nurse walk me to a chair placed near the operating theater. My brain blanked out. White noise filled my head, making it feel like a heavyweight.

"Here you go sir."

A bottle of water and a packaged mochi was placed on my lap. The nurse took a seat next to me, probably to keep me company.

"Eat. It helps."

I wanted to. I really did. Along with sleepless nights, I went without food with being preoccupied with something or the other. I guess she had enough of it since I felt her try to stuff the mochi into my mouth. She managed to do that and I unconsciously chewed on it. The bottle, uncapped, was thrust into my hand. She basically had to manually make me bring up to my powered coated lips. I took a few sips, easing the chewy substance down.

Jisung liked mochi. I still did. I felt my hot salty tears drip down my chin and onto my clothes. The nurse's hand pushed my head down gently onto her own shoulder. I let out my tears. I already saw him. He saw me. I should be happy. But seeing him still in pain... it hurt me too.

In the midst of all my crying, I seem to have dozed off on the nurse's shoulder and she had  dozed off  too. Her head was tilted away from mine, probably resulting in extreme uncomfortableness. I straightened myself up and trailed my eyes to the operating theater. I heard clattering and chattering, the lights still turned on. I clasped my hands in front of me, sending a small prayer to the stars above to make it easier for my Jisung.

"To the stars above, I love him with all my heart but please don't make him go through so much pain. Please. Take the pain away. Even if it'll hurt me..."

I was about to rest my back on the chair but the door of the operating theater slowly creaked open. A doctor walked out, taking off his mask and latex gloves. He seemed tired but worried. I walked to him.

"Doctor... is it going ok?"

I saw his face get a put pale and darken a bit. He took a deep breath and looked me in the eye. Not saying anything he just slowly shook his head, lips pressed in a straight white line.

My eyes got hot again. The waterworks were back. I choked them back as much as I could and managed to squeeze out a thank you from my closing throat.

"thank. you."

I bowed down, body shaking from the shaky breaths I took and let out.

"I'm sorry." I saw him mouth it out.

I dragged myself back to the seat next to the nurse, dropping myself onto it, the impact startling the nurse awake. One look at me and it seemed that she understood. I felt her embrace me, the feeling warm but distant and filled with emptiness.

"I-i'll b-be ok-kay..."

"Shush."

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:)💚