Competition

Chapter 9- My House

I planned on going back to my club after my drink with Debbie, but I was so shaken up that I just went home. Debbie knows how to fuck with people and she definitely knew how to make me uncomfortable. I shouldn't let her get under my skin like this, but our conversation kept replaying in my head which made me dizzy and lightheaded. I laid down on the couch in my living room and turned on some music to play in the background as I dozed off to sleep.

I woke up to the sound of knocking at my door. Who would be at my house? No one comes to my house, like ever. Then it hit me. That could be Lou.

I checked the time. 8:45 pm. How long has she been outside my door? How did she find my house?

I went over and opened the front door to see Lou just as I suspected. She looked so beautiful. Her blonde hair falling to her shoulders where she had on a long dark coat. She looked at me with her entrancing blue eyes like she did before I left her place this morning. She saw that I was still wearing her clothes and smirked at me. I blushed immediately and broke eye contact with her.

"May I come in?" I forgot that I didn't even say hi to her yet.

"Yes, of course, come in. Were you waiting for a long time? I was just asleep." I was rambling.

"Umm. No actually. I went to your club first, and I then got your address from one of your workers. I had just arrived when you answered the door" She could see that something had happened, but she didn't say anything.

"Oh, well that's good. Make yourself at home, my place isn't as great as yours, but it's alright for me. I normally don't have guests over. Please excuse my mess." I was trying to keep saying things so I wouldn't have to think about whether or not I should tell her about Debbie.

"Will you please let yourself breath and tell me what's going on" She kind of looked annoyed, in the most caring way though.

I took in a long deep breath and let it out slowly regaining my strength. Just as I was about to speak, I could feel a huge lump fill in my throat. I stopped any sound from coming out of my mouth even though my lips were apart ready to speak. Then tears started to well up in my eyes. I looked away so Lou couldn't see me cry. I hated crying because I always thought it made me look weak and weak was not a character trait I wished to possess. I especially didn't want Lou to think that I was weak. I knew I wasn't weak, I was overwhelmed at the moment and my mind was taking over my physical body.

I saw Lou through the tears, she was blurry, but I could tell that she wasn't sure what to do. She looked away from me first like my pain became hers and then she looked down, angry. She got up and paced back and forth. I thought she might try to punch the air. She was so upset. Her body was tense and rigid as she walked. I thought she even might bust down my door and walk out to go kill someone. She didn't have any idea of who though and if I told her she would have a different reaction.

After contemplating on what to do, she walked up close to me so that I could feel her body heat radiate off of her. I still didn't look at her. I was too embarrassed. I thought she might try to interrogate me to find out what happened, but instead, she took her arms and hugged me tightly and firmly. I wrapped my arms around her and pushed my face into her shoulder. I kept my face down and began to cry harder. I felt so safe and yet I might have to say goodbye to her. Debbie made it clear that Lou needed to be on track or else something might happen. I didn't want anything to happen to Lou.

I also knew that people who got close to me always ended up getting hurt in some way. Not always physically, but emotionally or mentally. I didn't want to mess anything up for Lou.

I finally got a grip on myself and my tears. I sniffled and looked up at Lou for the first real time since she had entered my house. I took a long deep stare into her ocean blue eyes.

"I think I got tears on your jacket" Cracking a smile as I whipped under my eyes and nose. She smiled back at me and laughed a little. She pulled away from me, only enough so that she could see my face clearly and I hers.

"Everything is going to be okay. We will take care of whatever happened. We can work this out." There was so much hope in her eyes. I could feel it just by being close to her. She meant everything she said. I know it. I just don't know if I will be able to choose which is right for me and Lou. I was at a loss of words and hugged her again. Tighter to make sure that she knows that I heard her, every word and breath in between.

We stayed in that position for a couple of minutes. She kept a tight hold on me like I could turn to dust any minute and slip away. She made sure that I could not leave and I didn't want to leave. Swaying with the wind even though we were inside. I had forgotten that I had put music on and it was still playing on a never ending loop. Oh, how I wish we could stay like this forever.

We could stay alone together

The song fit perfectly to my mood. I hadn't even really paid any attention to the song. I was too tired to care, but now it was just right. Like it had been selected specifically for us. Me and Lou.

You know you've got me in your pocket

I knew I could never let Lou go. Maybe if I knew she would be better without me I would, but I just can't yet.

Hard to say things could be better

Darling don't get away right now

Lou had heard the song playing and looked down at me "What's it called?"

"Always forever" I was smiling although my eyes felt dry now. The song somehow managed to describe my feelings for Lou seamlessly. Sweet and melancholy.