This Delinquent Has A Secret...♥

This Delinquent Has A Secret...♥ (14)

**Ash's POV**

I didn't know what i was lying in. It was metallic and red. Maybe if my head was clearer, I could have pulled out the fuzzy memory from the shaken cracks in my brain. All I knew was the substance was sticky and it smelled like iron and metal and all I could feel was pain.

I clutched my side as someone in a wheelchair looked over at me and it stung when a drop of water coming from the persons eye dropped in something on my chest. I wondered breifly why water was pouring out of the persons eyes. Water could come out of someones eyes? 

I sucked in a deep breath and why did it hurthurthurthurthurthurt so much?

In that moment of agonizing pain when my ribs felt as if they were about to break, I felt something in my heart telling me that I was dying.

Dying. In or associated with the process of passing from life or ceasing to be. Google definition. I just never thought it would happen to me this early.

But I knew something was preventing me from giving up. Why couldn't I just lie here and die? Anything for this pain to end.

But I couldn't.

It was a flash of something. It was a flash of brown hair, auburn in the sunlight.

It was the wink of a sparkling chocolate colored eye, deeper than the ocean.

It was the touch of a soft, warm tanned hand.

It was the name that tumbled out of the mouth of the person above me. I blinked and forced myself to pay attention. The person above me came into focus.

I knew him from somewhere. 

Perez?

The present situation blinked like a neon sign and I realized what was happening. 

Mackenzie. 

"Mack...en..zie?" I choked out, ignoring the pain in my side, in my throat, in my head, in every part of my body. Perez shook with relief and touched my arm. "Ash? Ash! Ash wake up, oh God." He helped me up and I coughed, hacking up blood and something tinged brown. 

"Where is... she?" I asked. Perez was sweating with exertion and I looked around me to get our surroundings. We were in a deserted alley. There was no sign of life here, just a bony cat picking at an open trashcan. 

"Do you remember anything?" He asked.

I shook my head. Everything was so... muddy.

He shook his head sadly. "She's in the hospital. Juliette is dead, and Mackenzie is probably close. I escaped when you were fighting. I found both of them dying. Juliette was too far gone. But Mackenzie may have a chance. I came back 30 minutes ago. To find you here. You've suffered brain damage, Ash. I can tell... we have to... I don't know.. please don't die..."

Mackenzie was dying? Juliette was dead? Who the f*ck was Juli-- 

Oh. 

The water was pouring from Perez's eyes again. I caught a drop of water in my hand and choked as the memory came back to me. He was crying.

I remembered more now. I remembered everything. Everything about Juliette and everything about my past. 

I was 5 years old. I looked at my Father with compassionate eyes. "Daddy, are you okay?" He nodded his head wordlessly. I looked up at the clock above the kitchen table. But I didn't know how to tell the time yet. The big hand was moving. I didn't know what that meant. It must be night. The sky was so dark. I didn't want the monsters to get me. "Daddy, can I sleep with you and Mummy tonight?" I asked. My Dad turned around to glare at me. "Your Mummy isn't sleeping with me tonight, oh no! Instead she's sleeping with--!" He stopped and got up, leering down at me. I gulped. What was wrong with Daddy? Maybe Mummy was sleeping with Fluffy the bear. He turned away and left.

I was 8 years old. I was bleeding from my head. I lay on the ground and took every punch that was given to me. Maybe the harder he hit, the longer he hit, the more pain for me, the less pain there would be for my Mother. My Mummy was always right. She would always love me. This monster wouldn't. But it hurt so much. "Stop! Please!" I yelled, curling into a ball. The monster above me laughed maniacally. My chest heaved. I was a coward. He turned around and left. Please, not for my Mummy. Please, take me instead.

I was 10 years old. I ran inside from the yard, crying to my Mum. My knee was bleeeding. "I fell, Mummy!" I wailed, and she hugged me to her, the smell of her powder and lipstick engulfing me. "You poor, thing," She said, pressing her lips against my forehead. I sobbed and she brushed my hair back. "You need a haricut," She laughed. The back door opened and I smelled fish and some other substance, sharp and bitter. "What is this?" My Dad asked, his lip curling in disgust. "Margaret, how many times have I told you that he needs to fu*king grow up!? Don't hug him, go off to wherever you're fu*king that other man." My heart beat loudly in my chest. "Don't talk to her like that!" I yelled. The Monster pushed me aside and went for my Mom. I ran to my room and shut the door and tried to block out the noise. This was the last time.

 I was 11 years old. I was sweating. I turned around and crossed my arms over my chest consciously as a boy walked by me. He was bigger than me. I turned back around and punched the punching bag harder. I would be like him, no, I would be better than him. I would come back home and I would murder my Dad with my  own bare hands. I would make him feel real pain, the way he made me feel everytime his drunken eyes made contact with mine, every time his red hot fist swung at my face. I beat the bag but hit it at the wrong angle. Crying out in pain, I cradled my hand to my chest. It hurt so much. I slipped on my own sweat and fell down on the gym floor, squeezing my eyes shut. No more tears. No more hurt.

I was 14 years old. I was walking back home with a girl on my arm. She was beautiful. I turned and I looked at her face and I took in everything about it, everything that I wanted to memorize and capture in my mind and hold it there forever. I wanted to take her home. I entered the house, peering around, hoping my Dad wasn't home. He was home. He smirked at me, he smirked at Juliette. "What do we have here?" My breath came in short gasps. "Juliette, run!" I yelled. I took the beating full on. She escaped. That was the most important thing. She escaped. 

I was 15 years old. The scent of the white colored crack cleared my head. Or did it make things less clear? I wasn't sure. It didn't matter. I just needed to escape. Juliette entered the room. I THOUGHT I TOLD HER TO STAY AWAY FROM BLACK DEATH. Black Death laid his eyes on her. Too late.

I was 16 years old today. My birthday. I felt the sun on my bare back. I woke up, smiling. Ready to see the most beautiful thing lying beside me on my bed, so I touch her again and feel every bit of her body and take her once again. But when I turned she wasn't there. My mouth clamped shut and the smile was gone. In her place, was a crumpled yellow post it with a heart drawn on it. And in the heart was a "J". I held the sticky note and pressed it to my chest, where I could feel my own heart beating. The only one I'd ever loved.

I was still 16 years old. But it was all different. I was in a hospital. I saw all white. I saw my Mother and my Father's faces above mine. Cold and expressionless. "You will not see that girl again." My Mother spat. No. Without Her Without Life.

I was 17 years old. I looked back at my house growing smaller. I know they weren't sad that I was leaving. I was going to live in some delinquent center. Without my heart. 

I used Perez's arm to pull myself higher off the ground. "Juliette... dead?" Perez nodded, hanging his head. "She was a traitor. She lied to us all. And she payed the price with her life."

I coughed, I choked. I cried.

I hadn't cried in years. I hadn't cried in decades. I hadn't cried in centuries. Everything I ask for, comes with a price. All I wanted was my heart. All I wanted was my Juliette. She had never loved me. 

A memory flashed before my eyes- when I met Mackenzie. She filled the whole in my cold chest. But I didn't want her.

She would not love me. She would be taken away from me. She was dying, anyway.

I could never love anyone. 

The feeling washed over me. Alone. Completley alone.

I blacked out.

It's so short, sorry.. But it's Ash's life story! Don't worry... I will be uploading like a maniac this weekend... there is more to come! Soon!