Ember Kate

Chapter:: Two

The next day, I wake up a similar way. Locklan is in my room, this time in a “The Killers” shirt, with blue pants. Loud, awfully blue pants. I don’t laugh at him, even though I want to. I don’t wake up in the greatest mood all the time. And how does he even get in? My mother is supposed to be around here somewhere, what does she do when he slips in?

“What the hell are you doing here again?” I can’t help but complain to him. I can’t explain the tidal wave of cranky bitchiness, but I feel a bit sorry that he’s the one who has to listen to it.

“I told you, I’m showing you why you shouldn’t have gone on the cliff. Either you’re going to get so annoyed you regret doing it, or you’re going to smart up and realize what you have to live for.” Locklan sits there, looking out my window. The sun is shining on his face. I don’t talk for a minute, just noticing his slight spray of freckles. The ones you can only notice at a certain angle. I throw off the covers, and start taking my clothes off. “What the hell are you doing?”

I look over at Locklan and watch as he has his hand clapped over his eyes, shielding them. I can’t help but laugh. “Oh, how did you know how to lift my mood?” my laughter dies down as I pick out shorts and a shirt, telling him when he can look.

“You can’t just do that.” He tells me as he gets up, digging in his pockets for his car keys.

“Come on, get over it. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, right?” we are in the hallway, and I’m peeking in the different rooms of my house trying to find my mom. I’m not really sure why, it’s not like I want to see her and try to explain who Locklan is.

Speaking of, he hasn’t answered. I look to my right and see his face red, his eyes looking down at the carpet. “You haven’t?” I try not to sound surprised, but I can tell he hears it anyways. I try not to laugh, and I almost pat myself on the back as I quickly turn the start of one into a cough. “Oh um, I’m sorry. Girls suck anyways.”

“Ember?” I can hear from a room we already passed. I hold up a finger to Locklan, hoping she didn’t hear him and he doesn’t follow me. I go back two rooms and find my mother, Delaney Kate, sitting in front of a laptop.

“Yes, mom?” I tap my foot, letting her subtly know that I have places I want to go, and that they don’t include standing here. She makes me nervous, like she’s going to have a break down at any moment. There really isn’t a reason I could say that she started online shopping. It started how it always does; she bought a pair of boots online. And suddenly, sitting on the couch going on her laptop seemed more appealing than going out into the world. I don’t know if that’s how it really went, but I like to think it was that simple.

“Hello? Who are you?” for a second I think she has lost her mind, but I see she’s looking further than me. I glance behind me, and I know that Locklan is there.

“Hi Mrs. Kate, I’m Locklan, a friend of Ember’s.” A friend of Ember’s, are we really friends? I want to ask. But by the look on mom’s face, she thinks he’s more than a friend.

“Yeah, so we’re going to go out now.” I almost slap myself; the way the sentence sounded didn’t help her assuming mind. I didn’t care to fix it either, I just wanted everything to be okay again. “Bye, mom.” I call before pulling Locklan away from the door, and she mumbles a bye before turning to her computer again. I walk to the door quickly, winding down a couple hallways in my brown house. I think about this one time at dinner, when my father came home and was trying to get my mother out of her room for dinner. It was last year, and I was had been at my cousin’s house hanging out since she got her license a few days ago. She dropped me off, and all the lights were out. I heard shouting, my father telling my mom to get off her ass and go make dinner, and that I’d be home soon. He had to drag her out, and by then I was so confused I just sat there and waited for dinner to appear in front of me.

“So that was weird.” Locklan comments as we get into his car, and I don’t know what to say. I sit there as he turns his car on, the air conditioning coming on with a blare.

“That’s my mom, weird.” I don’t ask him where we are going, because I know he won’t tell me. I settle on getting comfy in the seat and watch as we go to the outskirts of Beatty, to a house that sits on acres of land.

“I have someone I want you to meet.” Locklan smiles before getting out, and he waits for me to come around from the passenger side to walk up the steps to this house. I have never been here, so I don’t know what to expect. Is he trying to introduce me to his family? I don’t know what to say yet, so I settle on being silent. I nod so he knows that I’m gathering all of what he’s saying.

We walk into the house and there’s a big entry way leading to a large living room, where a bald older woman is sitting. Not like grandma age, but parent age.

“Ember, this is my Aunt Abby. Aunt Abby, this is Ember.” This lady is sitting on a recliner, with a blanket thrown over her lap and a cheerful looking man sitting next to her on a matching recliner. Locklan doesn’t introduce him, and he doesn’t make a deal trying to let me know who he is. I focus on the lady; she has brown eyes and a smile that distracts you from her baldness.

“Hello Ember, have a seat.” She looks like the happiest dying person I’ve ever seen. Although, I’m not quite sure if she’s dying, or in remission. I don’t even know why I’m here. I want to pull Locklan aside and ask him, what is this suppose to help?

“Hi.” I mumble as I sit on a couch that only seats two people, Locklan sits down next to me right away. I want to glare at him, what is this going to do? It’s a waste of time. I wish I didn’t get up today, it obviously wasn’t worth it. Instead of glaring at him like I want to, I try to look like I’m listening as Abby tells me when she got diagnosed and all the sappy stuff that follows. An hour or so later, we leave.

“Thank you so much Abby.” Locklan says, he leans over for a hug and I hear him whisper, “I think you really got through to her.” I roll my eyes, mumble a bye and storm out the door. I can’t explain why I was pissed off, but him thinking that spending a couple of days with me will get me to want to live life and realize what I’m, apparently, missing out on. I think it’s ridiculous; especially the fact that he thinks it’s working! I get into the car and sit there while Locklan comes out, a smile on his face as the sun is beating down. It’s a little after noon and before sunset, and the sun is definitely lower. He gets into the car, and as soon as his door clicks I start yelling.

“How do you think that is okay? Do you think it will help? Am I supposed to feel bad for her?” I take a deep breath, finding it a little shaky. “Am I supposed to cry? Go in and tell her that she is such an inspiration, and I feel horrible that I even thought about suicide? I don’t even know why I agreed to this whole shit fest! All it’s doing is showing me how awful I am, and I already knew that.” I try to get calm, because every time I raise my voice I get sick. Like, nasty throw up and stomach ache sick. It was weird, and my parents took me to the doctor’s but they couldn’t find a reason for it. They just said I needed to stay calm, or else I’d get sick.

Locklan leans over and hugs me, and I start hitting his shoulders until I feel better about the embrace. “You aren’t awful. You’re just lost, and I’m here to show you the way back.” He holds me there for a few minutes, and by the time he pulls out the sun is setting and I wonder if we are doing anything else.

“Why do you have to be so calm while I get all worked up?” I ask him, hoping he doesn’t notice the hint of jealousy in my tone. He shrugs, and I didn’t expect an answer but it really is unfair. “Well, thanks for today I guess. I’m sure one day I’ll appreciate all you’re doing for me.”

“That’s all I want.” Locklan smiles this huge smile; I can tell it’s genuine. It makes me smile, and I’m surprised I haven’t noticed him before. Not enough not like the way’s he’s noticed me. And I will never forgive myself for that.