Ember Kate

Chapter:: Sixteen

A week later, I wake up in my twin bed with someone shaking me. At first I think it’s Tommy, because he was the one I got tangled with before falling asleep. But as my eyes snap open, a retort on my lips, I notice my mother shaking my shoulder.

“What the hell? What are you doing?” I have to close my eyes as a mumble, she opened the blinds and it was bright outside.

“You have a boy in your room! Ember Anne! You have a boy in your room! What the hell.” My mother starts screaming. Her dark hair is down and messy, meaning she came in here after she woke up.

I couldn’t help myself, I started laughing. Almost hysterically, actually. “Mom, I’m eighteen. I can have a boy in my room.” I roll over and snuggle Tommy’s back, surprised he’s not awake from her screaming.

I feel a tug at my shoulder again that almost knocks me to the ground. “It’s not okay! Who is he?”

“He’s a guy from Washington, is that enough? Can I go back to sleep now?” I ask sarcastically. I probably couldn’t fall back asleep, I felt wide awake after her screaming. I know I’m living at home, but she shouldn’t be freaking out so bad. And since when does she pay attention to what I do? Instead of responding, she just crosses her arms and stomps out of my room. It reminds me of something a four year old would do, and I laugh as I roll back over and throw my arm around Tommy’s side. I hear him sigh and feel him stretch his legs out to the point that they are hanging off my bed.

“Did I hear a crazy lady screaming or was that a part of my dream?” Tommy asks as he rolls over and smiles, his eyes still closed. His voice is deep and has a scratchy sound to it, but it sounds really sexy. When he opens his eyes I almost get shocked by how attractive he is. Blonde wavy hair, his hazel eyes that are the purest green I’ve ever seen, his pale skin that’s surprisingly soft. I snuggle closer, unable to resist, and start kissing him.

He deepens the kiss as he climbs on top of me, and I can feel him smiling into the kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and things are getting pretty intense for a good morning kiss when I start to roll over, trying to climb on top of him. Instead of his back landing on my bed, he falls back first to the ground.

“Oh shit! Sorry, that was pretty hot though.” I rest my chin on my arm and smile down at him. He doesn’t even look surprised that he landed on his back. “Need help up?”

He stares at me for a few seconds, and just as I’m about to repeat myself he replies with, “Actually, why don’t you come down and join me?” he smiles easily and reaches his arms up and I’m about to ask him what he means but instead he pulls me to him, and I’m surprised he doesn’t flinch at the feel of my body dropping on his. Instead he puts his hand on my cheek and we start kissing again.

“Okay, I have to get up and shower. I feel gross and I can’t believe you kissed me with morning breath.” I move my arms to either side of his chest to push myself up, but he wraps his arms around my waist. “Tommy, seriously,” I whine to him and pout.

“I just wanted to ask you something, come here.” He whispers. I turn my head to the side but I can still see his finger waving me forward. I get closer until I can feel his breath on my ear. “Can I smoke in your room if I have the window open?” he whispers dramatically, and I actually start laughing.

“That’s it? I thought you were going to say something cute. Whatever, just have the window open,” I get up grab undergarments before walking down the hall to the bathroom. I tip toe to watch for my mother, who must’ve went back to her crap room. My father wasn’t around, and I wondered for a record of two seconds where he could be before hopping into the shower.

~

“Can I confess something to you?” I ask Tommy as I come back with a towel wrapped around my body and one wrapping my hair up. I see him sitting on the windowsill smoking and staring out the window, almost like he was looking for something.

“What? Of course you can,” he stubs his cigarette out and drops it in an empty In n Out burger cup and settles on my bed. I walk over to my dresser to pick out a shirt and shorts, settling on a faded band t shirt and brown jean shorts.

“Well, I just got out of a confusing relationship. I just want this to be a casual sort of thing, is that okay?” I take my hair out of the towel and start drying it, waiting for his answer.

“That’s fine, I’m actually not a person who’s big on serious relationships. I understand,” Tommy smiles at me and I actually get butterflies. Not that I didn’t with Locklan, but it just seemed easier to be with Tommy, less serious somehow.

“Well good, that makes things a lot easier for when I get tired of you,” I say teasingly as I sit down on his lap. “So what do you want to do today?”

He puts his hand to his chin, rubbing it, like he’s thinking intently about it. “Oh, I don’t know. What’s there to do for fun in Beatty?”

I wrap my arms around his neck and think. “It really depends on what you think is fun, we could go to 7 eleven and drink slurpees in the parking lot?” I ask him half heartedly, not really wanting to go.

“Actually, I saw a cliff on the drive down here. I think it’s too high but we could find a shorter place to jump if that makes you uncomfortable.” Tommy suggests. My stomach clenches at the thought of him seeing the place where I’m still planning to end my life. But why do I keep putting it off? I look Tommy in the eyes, he’s just another distraction to set me off my goal.

I just want to kick him out of my house and drive myself out to the Bend and go jump, be done with everything. But the fact is that the calm yet dangerous glint in his eyes are telling me I could have more reckless fun before making the final dive. And that’s the thought that makes me mumble a yes before kissing him.

~

When we get to The Bend I find it hasn’t changed much. All the litter that usually crowds the dirt and rocks has disappeared, which I can’t say I missed. The jagged rock that makes up Bend is still as sharp as ever, prodding out to lead to a drop of countless feet.

“Are you excited?” Tommy asks me as he turns off the key and takes his muscle shirt off. I try not to make my staring obvious as I watch his stomach muscles flexing. I look down at a shirt of his I stole to put over my bikini top. I wring my hands into it. It’s weird coming here with somebody else. Especially since my last experience set me running to Locklan’s house.

“Oh yeah, I’m just nervous that you won’t be able to keep up with me,” I explain as I hop out of his car. He meets me at the hood of the car and has a big smile on his face for me. I see my reflection in his sunglasses and I look away, not wanting to look at myself.

“You think so? Well I guess we’ll see about that,” Tommy declares as he walks closer to the edge of the cliff. I almost tell him to stop, that’s where I paused to think about what I was going to do. That’s where I was when Locklan told me to step back. Such a fragile place, but instead I put my fist over my mouth and bite on it, swallowing my weak words.

I have my eyes focused on Tommy. Watching his shoulder blades protruding with his tan skin coating them. I see the way the thick muscles on his arms roll back as he stretches his neck, and does a variety of other fake stretches to get ready to jump. “So are we jumping together?” I mumble to him.

Tommy turns around and smiles at me, his white teeth brilliant in the raised sun. “Of course, but we’re going lower first; just to be sure.” He steps back three spaces and takes my hand in his before walking me down to a small dive off of a rock. I glance back up at the bend and wonder how long it’ll be until I have my feet positioned just right, poised to meet my fate. And so I jump.