Change in Heart ▪ Enoch O'Connor

XVIII.

Stubbornness gets the best of most people.

For example, corporations are always too stubborn to pay their employees a livable wage, because they don't want to give up precious money. People will choose a differing side of an argument, and stick to it no matter how wrong, because they aren't willing to conform to a middle ground. Some parents want their children to be the same as them, so they stubbornly teach their child as they've heard, not listening to a parent of five, or a pediatric.

Many tie stubbornness with selfishness, but some may see that it is just underlying issues of a person, or whatever it may concern. Stubbornness makes people question themselves, and leads to more dishonesty. People don't want to be truthful with a person who won't see their side. It also causes people to overthink their own point of view, making things much more difficult than it has to be.

So as Enoch stubbornly sat in the group of peculiar children, he refused to recognize Ash's existence, just to hold that brooding facade. Ash questioned if she had misread cues that night. She felt liked she should deserve at least a glance, maybe even a simple smile. But all she got was the side of his face, anywhere she went. If she got pushed close to him, he was quick to disappear.

And it just made him irate when the only seat left at dinner was taken by Ash. But what did he have to be mad for? He enjoyed her presence, and she had somehow found a way to mean more to him than the other peculiars. But just the way her innocent blue eyes would flicker toward him every so often, and her mouth would move to the side in thought, it just ticked him off in some way.

Yet, as he sat angrily putting together dolls, he was trying to find ways he could approach her. Why he wanted to go to her was something he kept asking himself. But he was feeling like he was obsessed now, and she was occupying his thoughts. They had hardly talked during her time here but she just lit something inside, and that made him mad.

He spent the changeover by the treeline of the forest across from the house. The cloudy evening sky was the perfect amount of angst he needed for stabbing away at his dolls.

He could not understand his emotions. Maybe it was because it had been so long since he had felt this way, or that he was angry that he couldn't express how he felt of her. He wasn't going to deny it to himself that he had became infatuated with Ash. He thought it was because he always felt the need to fix things, though in a very violent was, like with his homunculi. She seemed lost and broken, and he didn't like that.

"Might I sit here for a moment?"

"Only if it's for a brief moment." Enoch quickly responded with sarcasm, though wincing when it registered who was speaking to him.

Ash turned her head and pouted, she didn't want him to see. She plopped down across from the boy, her dress pooling around her like a nest. Her book fell open to the marked page, and she silently began ignoring him as he stared at her.

"I'm going to the basement." He stated, his lips pressed in a thin line.

"Why?" She said with her eyes in slits, snapping her book closed.

"Why?" He mocked, rolling his eyes. "Because I want to go to the basement."

"Enoch, why are you so angry with me?"

Enoch sighed and threw up his hands, making a wild face as to say 'I don't know!'

"Ugh!" Enoch drew out, before grabbing her hand and pulling her along behind him. "Come with me.'

"No, no, Enoch!" Ash cried, yanking her hand from his. "I'll come, please-I just, I don't want to hurt you."

His head cocked to the side in confusion as she cradled her hand like it had been burned.

"Right then," Enoch curtly nodded and turned on heel. Ash looked down at her hand, where her finger tips looked as though she had grazed soot. She didn't know why her peculiarity was provoked, but she certainly did not want to kill anyone. Perhaps she should start wearing gloves.

Ash huffed and went after him, passing through the door he held open for her. She hadn't ever been down to the basement, but she knew that Olive and Claire were scared to go down there because of what Enoch kept safe.

It didn't smell as putrid as she thought it would, but it was certainly dusty. There was a lack of light for a moment, and she bumped into Enoch as he was flipping on a light switch and lighting a few candles.

"Sorry." She mumbled, then her eyes grew wide as she looked around the room. There were bottles upon jars on racks all over, filled with pickling body parts. Looking into a set of eyes, she wretched and turned away, bumping into Enoch again. He steadied her that time, and he held an amused look in her eyes.

"You know, the rest of them had run away at this point." He said, as he walked behind a shelf, out of her view.

"Rest of who?" Ash questioned, eyes skimming over each glass jar.

"Just anyone to see this. Anyone growing up, anyone in my old loop, anyone here. Just anyone."

Ash stopped and looked around in the dim light. She could not see him. "You had an old loop?"

"Yes, but it was too bad they all DIED!" Enoch cried, jumping out at her near the end of the row of jars. Ash screamed and fell back, tripping over the corner of a box on the floor. She hit the ground with a thud as Enoch laughed at her, her eyes narrowly set looking up at him.

"Enoch, you bastard!" Ash said, going to take his outstretched palm. She grabbed it and then realized her hand was touching his, then instantly pulled away, falling back down. Enoch was confused, and went to help her again, but then realized why she was cowering away from him.

She was afraid of herself, and afraid that she had no control. It was new, and it was consuming. He knew this. He had the same exact feeling as a young boy, right when it all started.

"Hey," he said softly and genuinely. "I trust that you won't hurt me."

Ash slowly cocked her head to the side.

"I was just like you, you see." Enoch continued, sitting on the ground beside her, but leaving some distance. "Right when I found I could raise the dead. I didn't know the consequences, I was just terrified of what I could do. But a little practice made it less of a fright."

Ash sat in silence, only looking at her hands. She milled over his words, then turned her head to look up at him. She smiled at him, and Enoch smiled back.

"But it's funny, isn't it? You can make something fall dead, and I can raise it. We're like the perfect pair."