Change in Heart ▪ Enoch O'Connor

II.

For years, Ashnar begged Mother to tell her more of Miss Peregrine and the peculiar children. Ash was curious about her brother, and if he was even real, but Mother told her nothing. The girls at the schoolhouse called her delirious. They told Ash there could never be such a thing as a person with special abilities, and that the people living there were all dead. But Ash refused to lose hope.

When working in the garden, Ash would pretend she was able to lift earth without touching it. When herding the sheep, or tending to the cows, Ash would pretend she could communicate with them. She tried to gather every drip of information about the peculiar place, but she couldn't find much.

Ash coaxed her mother into giving her some information, none of which was about her brother. She told Ash of peculiars, what they were, how they got there, what happened to them.

It didn't occur to Ash until then, that her mother had to be peculiar. Her own mother, had this oddity, that people would kill to have, or kill her because she was different, like none other. Ash was curious to know just what it was. She supposedly lived in 1940 for years, and now lived here in 1969 to tell about it.

"Mother, what is your peculiarity?" Ash asked her.

"Ashnar, I never even dreamed those words would come out of your mouth. I-I just can't tell you," Mother said quietly. Ash crossed her arms and huffed.

"And why bloody not?" Ash cried, raising her voice. She looked away from Ash for a second, closing her book.

"You will know soon enough." Was all her mother said.

"Well, do I at least have a peculiarity?" Ash asked, hoping the answer would be yes.

"I am afraid not," Her mother said gently.

"But why?" Ash pouted.

"Peculiarities are usually passed down not just from one generation to the next. It could be your children or grandchildren that show up as a peculiar, or even great grandchildren. But, even though you haven't shown any signs of being peculiar," She paused, winking at the girl. "That doesn't mean you aren't"

Her mother knew it couldn't be true, but she didn't want to dampen her daughter's spirits any more. But Ash knew she would never be peculiar. It just couldn't happen. She wasn't blessed with talents no one had ever dreamed of. She could never be like her mother, and will never see Miss Peregrine. Ever.

Mother must have seen Ash's face go dark as she drowned in her thoughts because she broke her out of them saying, "How about an adventure tomorrow?"

"Yes, of course!" Ash chirped as happily as she could. Her mother did a lot for her, keeping her up there as a single mother where they barely got by. There were several nights where her mother went hungry so that Ash could have some food. They both slaved away all day for food and trading, but her mother was doing it all for Ash.

Ash hugged her mother goodnight and went off to bed after changing into a nightgown. Her tiny room was cold from the front brought in with the rain and she shivered as she wrapped up in her threadbare sheets and quilt.

An adventure was no use to her. Ash knew an "adventure" wouldn't be anywhere fun, or even half interesting. There was nothing to adventure to in this place. Her mother was only to be disappointed with her.

"I'm not like her." Ash whispered into her pillow. As much as she wanted to be she never could.

Ashnar drowned in thoughts and started crying, then soon fell asleep with a flat pillow beneath her head, tears still running down her face.