22. I heard here and there

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I bid goodbye to Jay and Minjung without any fuss. I didn't know what Mitchell has told them, I only remember that Minjung said we need to hang out more and it's sad that I need to go because I got an emergency call.

Gray wasn't there either and I haven't seen Dean since on the field. I just left him and asked Mitchell to go back to the hotel. To be honest, everything was confusing for me. I could never imagine that things could go complicated like this.

It's all started with Dean and me, both of us. Then Gray came in the view, he's nice and sweet guy. I wonder that his cheek gotten better now? What was Dean thinking when he decided to shoot Gray with that ball on the cheek, by the sound of it, Gray's cheek will be bruised in few days like someone has actually punched him.

I glanced at Mitchell who drive quietly beside me. He must be really angry right now, feeling little betrayed because I didn't tell him about Dean sooner. So many things running inside my head, the ride was quiet somehow make me uncomfortable. 

"I told them you have to go back to Incheon tonight." Mitchell broke the silence as if he know what I've been thinking.

"Mitchell.."

"Don't talk to me right now. I have so many questions for you, but let me focus on driving so we can talk later." he cut me off, not in rude way. I knew he probably confused wondering what might happen with his cousin; Dean and me.

I put him in quite difficult position.

"Okay.." I merely whisper.

---

"It's him, isn't it?" he finally asked when we arrived at my hotel room, luckily doodle members haven't back yet so we could have this conversation. Sitting on the carpet with our back leaning on the bed.

"The guy whom you love but stupid for ignoring you without reason, it's Dean right?" he added.

I nodded weakly.

He let out a long sigh, "Jesus, Char.. why you didn't tell me?! I'm such a fool! I thought I know you, I thought I was the bestfriend for you but look at me, dragging you back into this fuckin muddy nostalgic shit without even realize what I've done to you!"

"Mitchell, I'm so sorry. I thought I will never meet him again, that's why is no use to tell you about him. But it's a shame because--"

"Out of millions probability, Dean is my cousin?"

I nodded again.

"So it was you.." he mumbled.

"Why? What about me?"

"I clearly remember he told me he met a girl months ago, he never mention the name but I could tell he's happy. Until I met him on the other party, he brought a girl which I thought it was the same girl he told me before. I didn't pay attention much.."

So it's true that there's another girl.. He chose her over me.

"Until he told me he made mistake, his mind deceived him. He lost someone that he would never have a face to meet again."

"I--"

"He broke up with that girl few months ago." he looked at me, "if you're curious."

"I don't know what to say.." I replied.

"Now that I recall everything and put them together, it's finally make sense to me. I could see something in his eyes whenever he sees you, but I chose to not to think about it. Never thought you guys shared the same story.. Now I know why he called me this morning, asking me what I've been up to, he didn't want to join at first, but changed his mind when I mentioned you. Geez, I should've known better.."

"I.. I always think that I don't deserve him. That I'm not good enough for him, that's why.." I finally said, tears coming but I'm too tired to wipe it. "I've always have this fear, my flaws, my insecurity that I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable, that I find there's no way somebody would actually love me for the who I am. I thought Dean will be different, but the fact that he disappeared after our first meet telling me that my thoughts were right. I never met his standard."

"What are you saying?" Mitchell moved closer and embraced me with warm side hug. "you are an incredible human being.."

I looked up at him,"Don't fight with him because of me, please.."

"I know he hurt you, and he's my cousin but it doesn't mean I will take his side." He scowled, but then his facial expression softened, "Trust me, Char.. I actually tempted to punch him right on the nose. Because we both know how ungrateful bastard he was." Mitchell ranted like a kid and I was more than relieved with the fact that he's my bestfriend.

"I could understand that he only wants pretty girl." thinking about that girl made my heart ache so much.

"What are you saying? You're pretty too. I swear.. maybe not the prettiest girl I ever met, sorry but no hard feeling, okay? I'm trying to be realistic and keeping you on your own foot, but trust me you're pretty just the way you are. You don't have to be someone else, what's the point if you changed yourself just to be liked by someone that doesn't accept the real you?"

He let go of me then pat my head, "It's his loss, you didn't lose him. He missed out the gem, which is obviously you. Plus there's obviously stupid Gray who's head over heels to you, clearly smiling following you around like a lost puppy. Maybe it's your chance to be happy who knows?"

"I'm good, stop playing cupid between me and Gray." 

"He probably already told you that he wants to talk to me?" Mitchell fixed his crumpled T-shirt before getting up.

"Who?"

"My asshole cousin, who else?"

"Yeah, you guys have family dinner tonight." I reached out his arm to help me get up from my position

"I'm on your side, you know.. tell me which part on his face I should hurt?"

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dear reader, who wants to read part where Dean and Mitchell talk? Please comment, hehe.

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