Alone

United: Part 1

⚠︎ depiction of sexual content ⚠︎

I went home on my own, had dinner on my own and now laid in bed on my own, while my mind was still in utter confusion and worry because of Jungkook. We barely saw each other for the rest of the day and whenever we did, he hung his head low. I noticed that he wasn't around his friends today though, implying that whatever fight they got in was not just an "accident" and also had something personal to it. Maybe they were just upset with each other because they let it escalate like that. I fell into a drowsy state, that allowed me to shut down yet not go into a deep, restful sleep, meaning that I still picked up on things happening around me. When I heard weird clicking and some rustling, I slightly furrowed my eyebrows, but didn't think much of it. At least that was until the mattress shifted behind me and I flinched in both shock and fear.
"It's just me...", a deep voice rasped as an arm wrapped over my waist and pulled me against a warm chest.
"Hello, random visitor.", I greeted him softly.
"Hey.", Jungkook replied lowly and although he somewhat whispered, I could still hear the frustration in his voice.
He got in the position of spooning me and pulled my blanket up to my chin to keep me warm, even though he was more than enough.
"Sorry for waking you up.", he mumbled apologetically after a few minutes of silence.
"I couldn't sleep anyways.", I sighed and snuggled further into his embrace.
"Me neither."
I couldn't help but press my lips together as I still felt his tension. Something was clearly bothering him, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't quite figure it out. The fact that he came here either meant that it didn't have to do with me or he wanted to be with me nonetheless, unless he wanted to talk to me about it. I grew nervous over the last possibility and nibbled on my bottom lip as I tapped my fingers on my chest, where my necklace usually was.
"You're thinking too loud.", Jungkook groaned and made me turn around to face him properly.
"Will you be okay?", I asked hesitantly and felt how he decreased the distance between us by pulling me even closer and resting his chin on top of my head.
"It's 2AM. Neither of us will be okay if we don't go to sleep now.", he responded.
"Jungkook-", I began, but was cut off by a soft peck on the lips.
"Shhh. Just sleep."
I kind of pouted in both frustration and worry over his behavior, which he seemed to pick up on because he let out a sigh, turned us over and laid halfway on top of me.
"I'll be okay as long as we're together, princess.", he assured hazily, already drifting off to sleep.
I put one arm around his shoulder and gently ran my fingers through his hair before I pressed my lips onto his forehead.
"And what happens when we're not?"
"There's nothing to worry about, beautiful. Sweet dreams.", Jungkook sighed and further buried his head in the crook of my neck.
I didn't want to deprive him of his rest any longer, so I let it go and just hugged him a bit tighter.
"Sleep well, Kookie..."

• • •

To say that this week was a weird one would be an understatement at this point. Jungkook and I barely talked and didn't meet up, but he kept sneaking in at night and leaving before I woke up again, causing me to question my sanity at first. I truly thought that I had dreamed of him coming over on the first morning, since he had left without a trace. Only his scent lingered on the pillow next to mine. However, the following morning, I checked the laundry and saw his clothes, so I knew I wasn't hallucinating. Still, it was strange. He seemed very distant and rejective in his overall behavior, even or especially in front of his friends, specifically Jimin and Taehyung. They were all really tense and reserved around each other and rarely exchanged words. Their argument or whatever it was didn't change anything about their popularity and reputations though, which only caused the gossip to peak. Whenever I passed by a group of students, they were talking about them. Everyone was making assumptions about what might've happened between them, some also making a connection to my rumor. They thought that they got into a fight over a girl they shared or that one of their adventures went too far. It actually only fed into my rumor and strengthened its purpose because I rarely saw one of Jungkook's groupies around him. Now that there was "physical evidence" no one was sure how to act around him and was too intimidated to look into his eyes. Or at least that's what I liked to think. Most of them seemed rather impressed and astounded than scared and intimidated, but it didn't really matter to me. Point was that most girls left him alone.
Emphasis on most.
There were some girls that couldn't care less about the rumors going around at the moment, since they were used to it at this point. The female spectrum of the entitled trash bags was just as much around the boys as before, if not more. It was really weird to look at, because each day they would be occupying a different guy, first Taehyung, then Jimin and yesterday Jungkook. They kept building them up with compliments and their flirtatious voices, whilst never missing a chance to have physical contact. Playing with their hair, squeezing their arms, hands, shoulders and whatnot as they pressed their bodies against theirs... It was one big freak show. I couldn't help but grit my teeth or clench my jaw when I walked by and saw how they tugged at Jungkook's clothes. Were they trying to seduce him in his misery in the middle of the school?! For real?! Disgusting. Can't they read social cues? He wants to be alone, so leave him alone! None of you could make him feel better! That's why he comes to sleep with me at night! You have no idea what's going on inside of him, that he just want some time to think and be wordlessly comforted rather than brutally flirted with. Amateurs. As soon as I realized how I was ranting in my head, I fastened my pace and didn't dare to look at them anymore.
Like what the actual heck?!
What was wrong with me?
I have no idea what's best for him and shouldn't feel so triggered. If he wants to surround himself with those scarecrows, let him. That's his decision and none of my business. Did it still get on my nerves that he was so touchy with them or rather let them be so touchy with him? Maybe a little, teeny tiny bit...perhaps. Who could blame him though? They are pretty, rich and closer to his league than I could ever be. Those are the people, that he belongs to, aren't they? The people he should spend his time with rather than little weird me. That was why I tried to avoid him in school as much as I could, even though he still came to cuddle at night. Other than our short conversation during the first time, we didn't say anything and just remained in silence as we feel asleep in each other's arms. I felt awkward about it but still enjoyed every bit of closure he was willing to share with me. I never thought I would admit this but I missed the affection free-pass in those moments...a lot. His warm hugs, sweet kisses and adorable teases... Shouldn't I just be happy that he was coming over at all? Or should I even care?
I let out an exhausted sigh and turned to the next page of my book as I was sat at a table in the library. Although I couldn't really concentrate, I still tried to use this free period to study some more for an upcoming exam. At least I thought so until I noticed something from the corner of my eye. Turning my head and furrowing my eyebrows, my gaze fell upon Jungkook standing in an empty row of bookshelves, shyly waving at me while trying to avoid anyone else's attention. I knew that he had the same free period as I did, which was why I decided to hide here instead of going outside or to the cafeteria, where it was more likely to cross ways with him. Yet here he was, trying to communicate something with weird gestures. When he figures that I didn't understand what he wanted from me, he took out a notebook and wrote something down in large letters.