He's All I Have

•22•

Drama might as well have been my middle name at that point. I was laying on the ground, completely dumbfounded. I struggled to breath and I gasped for air. 

"Heavenly father help me because," I gasped. "I can't take it anymore." I cried as tears ran down my cheeks.

I had made discoveries that had challenged my whole life. I wasn't sure who I was anymore or if anything I knew about myself was true at all. I had had an interesting couple of days and they had all started with one phone call, maybe I never should have picked it up. Maybe I never should have accepted this phone from Abigail's parents, or given the school my number. Maybe everything would be better now. Just maybe.

★★★★★★★

**A couple of days earlier**

Laughter was now a constant part of my life. I laughed at home, at school, and had even made new friends. I felt like a normal child again. I obviously had pain from the recent events but I had learned to live past them.  

"More rice please, Ms Lydia," I asked the nice lady who served our food. I loved to eat and I wasn't about to have one little scoop of rice sustain me for a whole afternoon. I was following my friends to the tree we ate under and just as I stepped into the cool air outside, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number so I wondered who it was.

"Hello," I said as I answered the phone.

"Hey T." A voice on the other side of the phone shouted excitedly. I recognized that voice and only one person called me that. 

"James?!!!" I shouted excitedly. Could it be? My brother James? I hadn't seen or heard from him in five years.

"You're a hard girl to get a hold of. How are you doing? Lucy said you weren't home. Are you okay? Where are you staying? Why didn't you call me, T? I was so worried about you." He said all at once.

"Whoah. Slow down. One question at a time child. I'm not at home, mom and dad kicked me out. I had no way to contact you but I'm safe, I'm staying with a friend. I'm fine James." As I trailed off, it hit me. "Wait, you spoke to Lucy? How? Is she okay?" I asked.

"Ha! Now, who is asking a million questions?"

"You started it!"

"Some people never change." I could feel his eyes rolling from here. "Yes I spoke to Lucy. I still have one of her teacher's number. We get along so she allowed me to talk to her. She's doing good, she's just very worried about you."

"I'm fine Jay. Both of you need not worry. God is taking care of me."

"I know you say you are fine but I'm still coming down to see you." He declared.

"No no,  there is no need Jay. I'm okay I promise." I said quickly to deter him.

"I'm not going to change my mind T. I'll see you tomorrow at lunch."

"Fine. See you." I knew he couldn't be stopped once he'd made up his mind.

★★★★★★★

Only my brother could fly down to see me. It had been a while since I'd seen him. One day he was home and then he left for university and never came back. He graduated a couple of years back and I thought he'd come back home but he never did. I know there was some bad blood between him and dad, I guess he thought he was better off away than at home.

Lunch rolled around and Zach and Abigail dragged me off to lunch. We had an event we were planning so we were all having lunch together. I was staring at the dessert options trying to make a choice when a voice in my ear startled me.

"I knew I'd definitely find you by the dessert table."

I turned around and lo and behold, there stood my brother James and boy had he grown older.

"James." I screamed as I hugged him. My scream attracted the attention of the students but they quickly went back to their eating

"Hey. Look at you. All grown up. Oh T, it's been too long." He said as he engulfed me in another hug.

We took a moment like that as we slowly accepted that this was real.

"I missed you." I said quietly.

★★★★★★★

We sat under a tree at the park. I could miss a class or two. Catching up with James had been awesome. He was really doing great with his life. He was now a software engineer and doing great at his job. He was in a relationship and had just got promoted. James told me that he too was Christian and how he prayed everyday that his family got saved. Guess his prayers have only worked on me so far I laughed internally.

"Is that why you left?"

Dad surely could have not been happy that he was a believer.

"Yes. I accepted Christ Jesus at school. I told dad and he, in normal dad nature told me to stay here until I was ready to give him up. I could never come back T, so I stayed. Maybe if I had stood up for myself, this wouldn't have happened to you T."

"It's not your fault. It's life. God has been taking care of me since. I'm slowly getting through it."

We sat in silence as we pondered about our lives.

"Why does dad hate us so much?" I cried as tears that had long been suppressed ran down my cheeks. I didn't realize that I had so much pent up. I had just been waiting for the right person to cry to.

James tried to console me as I cried into his shirt. After a while he spoke.

"It's not that easy T."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"They used to be better. They just lost so much." He said in a defeated voice.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused by his words.

"You probably don't remember this because you were younger but I had a twin. Our parents used to go to church, they were devout believers T. But when Sammy died, it changed them."

"What do you mean twin? What?"

I asked as I started circling the tree in confusion.

"There is a lot more. Sit down and I will explain."

My whole life had just come crashing down. It seemed I didn't know as much as I thought I did. Confusion was all I felt. He said to sit down? I didn't want to sit down. I just wanted answers!

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We are only 3 chapters out. The plot thickens. Hope you guys are doing well. I love you and I shall see you soon 🤗

04/06/2020