He's All I Have

•13•

Life had certainly become a routine for me. Wake up, go to school, and then come back home.  I went to campus services, attended classes, and wrote assignments. Weekends were spent at home. As I said, it was all just a routine now. Before I knew it, my first month as a  North Woods student was over. Most lecturers started introducing mid-semester tests to us since they were starting in a month. I now realized that I needed a laptop since most course resources were shared on the school website. Even though I could use the school computer lab, I had no more than an hour of free time a day to use it and tests were coming up fast. I needed to be able to work at home. I had no idea how my parents would react, but I had to try.

That night I went to my parents as they were sitting in the dining room. I knew they were in a good mood so it was a good time to ask.

"Mom, Dad, at school they said we are writing mid-semester tests in a month," I told them.

"I hope you have been studying," my dad said. If I got a dollar for every time he said that in my schooling career, I'd be the richest kid around. 

"I have but I don't have all the resources. I need a laptop so I can get access to the school website even at home."

There was dead silence in the room as my words registered. Finally, my dad cleared his throat.

"Your mother and I will talk about it," he said.

That was the standard answer in our house. It mostly meant no so I just nodded my head and left.

I really hoped they would say yes but I also knew they didn't want me to get any technological devices. I had just recently learnt how to use Google and I was surprised at how much you could find on the internet. My parents always wanted to shelter me from the outer world but university life had been slowly exposing me to that world. They also thought that it was the best way to make sure I couldn't find out about Jesus but it was too late, I was already a Christian.

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The following morning as I was making breakfast, I was surprised to find out that my mom had not left yet. 

"Morning mom. Taking the day off?" inquisitive me asked.

"Good morning. No, I just wanted to talk to you before I left." She answered as she got a bowl out so I could also pour the cereal for her. 

My mom never intentionally came to me alone unless it was serious. Like the time I forged her signature for a permission slip back in sixth grade. Maybe this was because I had asked for a laptop. She took the seat opposite me as we ate. 

"Oh, is it about the laptop?" I asked, seriously hoping it was.

"It's not about us getting you the laptop TC, it's about why you want it."

"I need it for school." I quickly defended.

"Really? Is that all you need it for? I don't even trust you are telling me the truth." she said.

I  was shocked by what I was hearing. My mom always trusted me.

"Why not?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"Because you have been lying to us for weeks!"

I was caught off guard. I couldn't believe she knew. I wonder how she found out. I needed to find out exactly what she knew so I acted dumb.

"I don't know what you mean mom," It sounded so sincere I almost believed myself. 

"TC, I am your mother. I raised you and I know when you are lying to me. I know you've been sneaking out. You throw stuff under a pillow when I walk in. You purposely made sure that you didn't get accepted into Westrow so you could stay here. I know you wanted to go so there was no way they couldn't have accepted your application unless you made sure they didn't. You wanted to stay. Only one thing can explain this behaviour," she ranted.

My mouth flew open in shock. She had known all along. Except for the intentionally failing the application part, she had everything else right. I don't know why I thought I was fooling her, she has always been able to tell. I just thought this time would be different.

"Mom, I-" I tried to explain but she cut me off.

"You have a boyfriend. That's why you didn't want to move away from here. Its why you want a laptop, you want to talk to him on there. It took me a while to figure out but I know I am right."

I let out an internal sigh of relief. I didn't know what to say. Whether to correct her or go with the lie? It was certainly better than her finding out the truth. Luckily I didn't have to make that choice immediately because our landline rang and after answering, she had to rush to work. 

"I have a client who is waiting for me. We will continue this conversation later TC" she said before closing the door behind her. 

I had been caught. I have always had ideas but this time it was different. I knew I needed external help. Only Lucy would know exactly how to move forward. She understood how our parents worked. At that moment I knew I had only one option, I had to tell my sister about Jesus and the secret life I had been living for the past ten weeks. 

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ThatChristianKid

24/06/2020