He's All I Have

•17•

Today was transforming for me. I had felt really alone for the past couple of weeks but today just changed my perspective. After my chat with Zach, I had come in to campus. I looked for a Bible to read in the library since my parents had confiscated the one I had. I chose a random scripture and the words started jumping at me.

Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.

My argument against my predicament was that I was still a baby in the faith but in this scripture it actually said that that's how I grow. I smiled to myself when that thought came. I had missed this, who knew I could miss reading my Bible?

"One would think that you're crazy with that big smile on your face." A voice I recognized said so I looked up.

"Zach." I said to acknowledge his presence.

"Good morning, again. I have been looking all around campus for you. I guess I should have started at the library." He said, clearly out of breath.

This was the first time anyone on campus, excluding when in church, had ever spoken to me, let alone look for me?

"Oh, did you need something?"

"No, but I have something for you." He said.

He opened up his backpack and removed the smaller lunch bag inside. He handed it over and curious me checked to see what was inside. I found three lunch boxes filled to the brim with food. I was speechless and didn't know what to do but then a thought came to mind.

"I don't have any money so I cannot pay for this." I told him.

He started laughing after hearing this.

"No, I don't want you to pay me TC. It's yours now. Just don't lose the containers. " He said as he walked out of the library.

I tried to say thank you but he was already gone. I proceeded to check out what was inside. All I can say is there was a well thought-out breakfast, lunch and dinner in there. I was at loss of words. My stomach grumbled and I decided to throw caution to the wind and have some breakfast.

And that is how the days went. He would bring me food in the morning, collect the containers before going home, and he would do it all over again. Not wanting to waste his efforts, I started studying heavily. I decided to utilize all those extra hours that I wasn't in the house for more studying. I was praying and God was proving himself good at every turn. I had realised that God was always there, sometimes my spirit was just not sensitive enough to feel it. I made sure to always pray and read my word so I could stay in tune with his communication.

★★★★★★★

This morning I read about Elijah and how God provided him with food using ravens. It was only when I read that, that I realized that God had used Zach as my raven. I did not know him but he had brought me food for two weeks straight, without expecting anything in return. He had prayed with me and even encouraged me to speak to Abigail for extra support. Now I had two humans praying and rooting for me.

Today was the first time in my 18 years of life that I woke up unexcited about it being my birthday. The air in the house had only grown thicker. My birthday this year had landed on a Saturday and I knew fully well that everyone was around today. Normally, I would have been woken up by a birthday song but all I got today was cold silence.

"Thank you Jesus for allowing me to see my 18th year. Thank you even more because I am saved and this is my first year celebrating a birthday with you." I prayed.

I finally amassed enough courage to walk to where I knew all of my family was. I had prayed a lot about today and I was ready to face my parents. As I walked into the dining room, I noticed that everyone was sitting on the couch. I felt like a defendant walking into court.

"Good morning." I greeted as if all was normal.

I got reluctant greetings back but from Lily I got a "Good morning. Happy birthday TC." which earned her a stern look from my mom but she just shrugged it off.

"Thanks sis" I responded.

My father looked at me with so much judgement, I could feel it.

"Have you made your decision?" He asked.

I could not believe that I was actually in that situation. Having to choose between God and my family? I could not believe it but I kept my composure.

"Yes." I said and I heard my voice crack a little when I said that.

"And?" He asked as he grew impatient.

I looked around the room. Lily was on the brink of crying. My mom was holding her heart in her hands. My father looked more annoyed than anything.

"I am not going to denounce my faith dad." I said.

"No, not you too." Was the only thing my mom managed to say. The look of hurt on her face I will never forget for as long as I live.

Lily had tears streaming down her cheeks as she ran to hug me. My father stood up and came to stand right in front of me.

"You have made your choice and now I want you out of my house." He said.

I shed a tear.

"Daddy please." I pleaded.

"I am not your father anymore since you clearly have no regard for my rules." He said but I could also tell there was pain in those words.

"I don't want to leave. I can't leave. I have nowhere else to go." I reasoned.

"Well you should have thought about that before making your decision. I want you to leave and don't come back unless you have given up that religion."

"I won't ever give up my Jesus."

"Then you will never come back here." He said.

"Can I at least pack a bag?" I asked. I had not thought of it because I did not think that he would actually kick me out.

"Everything you have, I bought it. It's mine and it's not going anywhere. I am so disappointed in you TC." He said coldly.

I looked at my mom for help but nothing. I slowly walked out, hoping to hear a retraction but nothing ever came. I was eighteen and homeless, and it was really cold outside.

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Scripture quoted: James 1:2-4 AMP

15/07/2020