He's All I Have

•14•

The months were getting colder and it didn't help that I was walking against the cold wind. My hands were getting numb and that's when I regretted not dressing up warmer. I admit that when I left home, my outfit was the last thing in my mind. I had gone to school, but my mind was not in the school work. I had not taken any notes. To be honest, I did not hear much. All I could think about was this morning's confrontation with my mum.

I was now heading to North Woods High School, where I was hoping to catch Lily before she headed home. My plan was simple: skip Professor M's class since it was around the same time Lily left school, head over to my old high school, find my sister, gather all the wisdom she had, and use it to get myself out of this situation. Ten minutes in and I was realizing that I should have put in getting warm clothes as step number one. Five more minutes and I would be at my destination. I still didn't know if this was a good idea but I was going to try anyway.

I had so many scenarios playing in my head about how she would react. Would she tell my parents? I sincerely hoped not. In fact, I trusted her not to. Growing up, we were a lot of things, but we would never snitch on each other. Now as to whether she would be happy, sad, angry? That I would have to find out when I talked to her in the next coming minutes. Whilst I was still thinking about it, I arrived at the entrance. I was a little early since the bell was just ringing. Unfortunately, Lily was never one to leave as soon as the bell rang. She was always talking to a lot of people. I knew she was gonna be a while, so I rubbed my hands together, trying to get as much heat as possible to my numb fingers as I waited.

After some minutes of waiting, I saw her and one of her friends leave the schoolyard. They were giggling about something and I was curious as to what it was because I recognised that specific energy in their conversation. I decided not to pursue it when she saw me and walked over with a worried look on her face. I had bigger things to worry about but I made a mental note to ask her about it later.

 "Hey, what are you doing here? Is everything ok?" she asked as she gave me a brief hug.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just need your help with something." I quickly answered to ease her mind.

"Sure, what's up?" she said with a ready to help tone.

"I'm going to tell you something so please don't overreact."

"If no one is injured, sick or dead then I won't overreact"

"Great, because I have been  a follower of Jesus for ten
weeks now." I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Now that it was all out there, fear of judgment tried to sweep over me but I stopped it. I remembered reading scripture about children of God not operating with the Spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. At this moment I decided not to be fearful but to trust God to be in control of the situation. I did not have to worry about the outcome because no matter what happened, I knew that he would take me through. Lily's silence was not helping but I decided to let her take her time to digest the new information.

"Wait, did you say Jesus?"

"Yes," I replied with confidence.

"I have so many questions," she said with the low voice that I almost did not hear her.

"I know,  but can I answer them later? I have to get back to school in time for my next class because I can get away with missing one class, but two? Now that's a stretch. I need your help but you can take a moment if you need to." I added just in case she needed to calm herself down.

"No, it's ok. I'm shocked but I can wait. So, what is this problem that needs my master brains?

I could see that her funny self was back so I knew that she was feeling better.

I then went on to narrate all that had happened that morning and how I now found myself in a pickle. Lily took some time thinking about it. Her face soon lit up and I knew she had an idea. My face asked all the questions and she finally decided to ease my curiosity.

"So, you think that you have two choices. Accept mum's assumption or tell her the truth? Well, that's where you're wrong. You should take the other option." I scanned her face as I wondered what she meant. 

"When you have been in trouble as many times as I have, you start to have many tricks up your sleeve and one of the best ones to use in this situation is the strong girl speech. Trust me, it works every time."

"Strong girl speech?" I asked.

She then went on to explain how it was a tactic where you use compliments and rationalizations to guilt her. She said that I should tell her about how good she raised me and that she should trust that I would do the right thing. By doing so, I would not give out any information at all. It sounded like a solid plan so I thanked her and I headed back to campus. Half walking and half running, I sincerely hoped that her idea would work.

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As I expected, when I got home that evening, everyone was already home. I went into my room and dropped off my bag. I changed into something more comfortable and crashed onto my bed. Before I could get any rest, my Mum worked in and I could see that she was determined to get her answer today.

"Good evening mum," I said in a warm tone that you could have believed but I was not scared at all.

"Evening. Are you ready to tell the truth?" she asked.

I thought back to Lily's advice. I tried to do as she told me but the words just wouldn't come out so I failed. I realized once again that lying was not my thing.

"Mum, the thing is something is going on, and no, I do not have a boyfriend. I would tell you but I am not ready to. Not yet anyway." I explained.

"Well, until you are 'ready to' tell me about it I will also not be 'ready to' buy you that laptop," she said whilst making quotes with her fingers.

"But that means I'm going to fail the semester" I protested.

"Or maybe it means that you have to wake up extra early so you can go and use the school computers before class and leave school a little late so you can use them after class as well. Unless you are ready to come clean we are not having this conversation again," she said authoritatively before leaving the room.

I should have known that not talking would come with its own consequences. Now I had to figure out my next steps. I turned to the one thing I loved to do these days: prayer.

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ThatChristiankid

30/06/2020