He's All I Have

•16•

I woke up to a crusty face after another night of crying myself to sleep. Many things had happened in my life and this was by far the hardest. My parents did not want to eat with me and when I was around any of them, they were visibly uncomfortable. Lily was also distant, which I appreciated because I did not want to get her in trouble. I felt like a stranger even though I was home.

Two weeks had gone by and I had no clue what I was going to do. My schoolwork quality had gone down and many had noticed. I was trying my best to keep up but it was so hard given the situation at home. So many people were Christians in this world, why was I the only one to suffer so much for it? I knew I was not doing myself any favours by refusing to pray but it was so hard to open my mouth and let out any words. It's not like it would make a difference. If God cared, I wouldn't be here in the first place. To be honest, I had expected everyone to accept my new faith and maybe even join me in the near future but none of that had happened.

I dragged my feet out of bed, they felt heavier than usual as they had been for the past two weeks. I had stopped looking at my face in the mirror the previous week because the bags under my eyes kept getting bigger and bigger. I did not even know how it was possible to feel so much all at once. I got out of my own head so I could prepare for school. These days I was leaving extra early so I could avoid running into anyone.

Last week when I tried to talk to my dad he just asked me if I had made my decision and when he found out I was in the negative, he outright said that I shouldn't speak to him until I had. I got ready as quickly as possible as it was nearing my his waking up time. I quickly ran downstairs and tried to get a decent amount of food in my bag before I could leave but all I found was an apple. It was clear that the kitchen was cleaned out, that someone wanted me to find no food. Maybe they thought it would convince me to make my decision quicker. Well they were wrong. I opened the door and left just as my father's 4:30 alarm rang.

It was too early to be out but luckily this small town was not dangerous. The cold was though and I had tried to layer up. I headed to the park because school only opened at 6. Granted, it was cold at the park but I could at least sit down and pretend I had a normal life. The park was empty as always and I took a seat at the bench and waited for the pitch black darkness to clear up.

As it was getting lighter, I heard heavy footsteps approaching me. I turned around in panic trying to see who it was but my movement must have startled the person because they let out a scream. The heavy panting and the light music I could hear made me realize that they were just on their morning run. Poor guy must be scared out of his mind.

"I am so sorry," I apologized.

"No problem you just -" he didn't finish because he started trailing. "I know you, TC right?"

I instantly panicked. What if this guy was in fact dangerous and he was stalking me all this time. I started moving back slowly. It was not even lit enough for me to tell his face so how could he tell mine. I was ready to run. He obviously could tell that I was scared so he decided to speak.

"Oh, no you got this all wrong. I'm Zachariah from school. We go to church together." He explained and I sighed in relief.

"Oh, hi. What are you doing here?" I asked, still skeptical about his intentions.

"This is my everyday running route. What are you doing here? It's freezing cold out here." He countered.

I now felt pretty stupid for bringing up this topic in the first place. I was not about to tell him anything about my life.

"Nothing, you wouldn't understand." I told him.

"Why don't you try me huh?" He said and I shrugged. "Look at it this way, if I am an utter fail then you can laugh at me for the next four years. How about that?" He said as convincingly as possible.

It was definitely getting lighter and I could tell the sincerity in his voice and face so I told him everything. From how I got saved up to this point.

"Today was different though. There was no food anywhere. I am sure that someone wants me to make the decision as soon as possible. Most likely my dad but I'm not sure." I ended.

Zachariah sighed after listening to everything. He took a moment to process what I had just said.

"I could sit here and tell you about how it will be easy but it won't. Take me for example, I lost my scholarship to Westrow because I refused to do something that was against my faith. I ended up staying here to go to North Woods, where my father teaches which I really didn't want to do. What I can tell you is that I do not regret losing that scholarship. Yes, it really hurt at the time but I would never have enjoyed being at Westrow after doing what they wanted me to. North Woods is proving to be a much better fit for me and I'm glad I stood my ground. I don't know how you will get out but I urge you to pray. God will take you through. He always does." He finished.

I nodded my head.

"Thank you Zachariah." I said.

"You're welcome TC. I've got to run before my dad gets worried." He said as he stood up from the bench. "And, you can call me Zach." He added before running towards the red horizon.

It was almost six so I decided to get ready to leave. Before I did though, I decided to pray for the first time in weeks. By the time I was done, I already felt better. I felt the heavy burden lifted but what was even better, I got the assurance that God cared. Being his child did not mean no suffering but it meant he would give me the strength to keep moving despite the circumstances. I was going to keep moving and I was going to start today by raising my marks.

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ThatChristianKid

12/07/2020