The Blind Artist (Frerard MCR Fanfic)

Chapter 19

*A/N: This is a major chapter so brace yourself... before hand I must raise a warning whilst trying not to give everyone a spoiler!.... So WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND SLIGHT ADULT THEMES SO READ WITH CAUTION!!!

Chapter 19

Gerard’s P.O.V.

I can’t believe I just kissed him, I couldn’t believe it was his face I was holding in my hands, so soft yet masculine as his jaw tensed against my fingers as he draw back a little. His breath ghosted across my face and I smiled. Here he was inside my heart, this little room was a part of me nestled deep in my chest, a part of me I didn’t know would ever be opened or set free.

“I really like you.” He tells me, as I move my hands to meet his down by his sides, it feels like I’ve just been punches in the chest. No, not even plain old punched, more like sucker punched by Rocky.

“I really like you too.” I tell him as I feel a blush rise up my cheeks, like one of those tingly warming ones that match butterflies in your stomach. His hands leave mine to hide his face, I know he’s hiding his own blush with a love silly grin one we both had after our kiss, and it was like we were love drunk. Something about it was just so… magical. I bring my hands up coving his own and pulling them away from his face, it’s as if we were magnets, I was drawn to him, pulled to him and I needed no other guidance. “I wish I could see your eyes.” I tell him. I knew him, I may not have been able to have a clear picture in my head but I knew what he looked like in my own way, I knew every crease and bump in his skin, every pore and feature, the feel of stumble where he hasn’t shaven in a while because like me he was becoming just as much as a hermit; but I didn’t mind at all… selfishly I didn’t mind. Because that way he was always here. With me.

“They aren’t as beautiful as yours.” My eyes are open, he can see the mess they are, he can see the way the blood piles up and congeals making it not look much of an eye at all. Being blind isn’t how I thought it would be, no one thinks it, no one likes to believe it would ever happen. It isn’t as simple as closing your eyes or sleeping with your eyes open. My condition varies, sometimes I see nothing, sometimes I see red- like when I used to close my eyes at look up into the sun; when it first happened I used to see shapes; but now even those little comforts resulted in nothing.

“I was eighteen when it happened, it was a month before I turned nineteen, it was late one night… I was out. Being the bat I am I liked walking, I liked the freedom of knowing I could walk in the street if I wanted, I could lay in the road and I wouldn’t need to be afraid of being ran over.” I swallow around the lump in my throat.

“Are you-?” he begins but I cut him off with a strangled “Please.” I’m not sure at that moment what I’m asking, please stop me, please let me speak or I’ll never have the guts to do it, please run while you can, please listen because I don’t know if I have the guts to stop myself.

*Flashback*

I hated to leave Mikey alone, I know that he’s now used to me being out late and usually covers for me if my mom ever cares to worry but he was just a kid, I still felt the need to protect him. I walk a few blocks lighting my cigarette and keeping my head down as it begins to rain faintly.

Somehow here the light on my cigarette stays calm hidden in the hood but as I blow out a furore of smoke it swirls and spirals before the rain plunges it into the puddles at my feet. There isn’t many people out on the streets, the odd car every block, the few parties raging from college houses or graduation parties; I make a point that no matter who I see or meet I completely ignore it’s just the way of making it out there alone.