The Blind Artist (Frerard MCR Fanfic)

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

*Frank's P.O.V*

Those four letter, that one word, makes my heart crumble in my chest.

The way he said it, without a flinch or emotion on his face, his voice monotonal and he hand cold in my grip.

I don't speak. I let them talk as I get lost in my thoughts. I thought it would be different, after last night I thought we'd be different and that it was just nerves of seeing the doctor that kept his persona cold. It was wrong.

I see the look of panic and anger on his face, the flash of shock in he is eyes as he clenched his hand around the glass of red wine he had just taken a sip. No, a glug, from.
His hands shake, his knuckles white as he trembles.
"Gee...?" I ask hesitant and worriedly I move toward him slowly not sure if I should take the glass from his hands. He seems to be fighting for control, he seems like he's going to snap at any moment.
"Get it away from me." He grits out through his teeth. His jaw clenches and I panic he is going into some sort of fit. If it wasn't for his eyes that roll everywhere, searching as he thinks tormented thoughts.
"Gerard what's wrong?" I want to help him, I want him back, he looks so fragile, like a doll, but at the same time I worry that if I make one wrong move then he could go off like dynamite.
"I said get it away! Don't you f*cking understand me!" And in that moment the glass shattering against the wall fills the air as his throws it with a mighty growl. His romantic meal is upturned in a mess at his feet as he begins to pace like a mad man.
"It's you! You ruined it! 3 years! 3 f*cking years!" He cried as he begins to run his hands through his hair, over his arms, scratching at his eyes like a man in withdrawal.
He begins to move his way around the living room, glass crumbling under his feet, I am aware of it against my palms as I begin to clean up and stop him.
"Gerard calm down please! You're scaring me." I beg of him, trying to stop in front of him but he just barges past. He stumbles a little and I hear the hiss as glass digs into his feet.
"Me calm down!? Do you know what you just did!?" He turns to me, his eyes ablaze, his chest panting.
He steps forward. His breath fans across my face, my chest moves with his as his forehead almost comes into contact with mine. I have never been so scared. This anger in his body scares me to my core, he's so close, he could hit me and break me. He could reject me.
"You gave an addict poison, you made my blood boil, I want to make you pay. I am a vampire and I crave the blood you have." He growls out, and within time I can suck in a breath his lips are on mine. Hard and overpowering. Dominating me.
Like a man who has been starved in the deserset, I am his three course meal.
I replace the burning of the wine with the burning of passion and lust.

I barely had time to blink before we were crawling up to Gerard’s bedroom, his legs wrapped around my waist pressing his whole body onto mine letting me feel every shape and curve as if there wasn’t a layer of clothes in between us. We were barely in Gerards’s small, black veiled room, tripping over my clothes that were left on the floor, before Gerard pushed me, his lips still attached mine and his legs still wrapped around me so that I scooted back against the wall and flipped us over so he could grind up against me; our crotches rubbing up against each other and exploring our bodies with our warm hands. Our clothes were long gone, his pale skin one just bone had now grown muscle and pudge. I loved how his skin felt so park against mine, a tattooed chest against a pale pure body.
I inhaled the scent of his skin, pressing a soft kiss to his neck.
He smelled like Gerard, but his actions were like he was a different person, his fresh smell brought familiarity and comfort to his rough handling. My Gerard's smell, like lavender and coffee with a hint of me. It was similar now, but different. It was like, he suddenly smelt sweeter or something. I looked at his face, his sweet, kind, beautiful face.

He had his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted. He looked so innocent. So pure. I suddenly felt the need to protect him, to keep sentinel over him. I didn’t want to let him go, I wanted to be with him, to stay in my arms...
I wish it was just us, us in our little world our ‘somewhere only we know’ no interruptions, deserted on our own island.
He moved closer, bringing our lips together, he moaned quietly as I traced his lips with my tongue, it was familiar but every time I reattached my lips to his I found something new nestled into them, like a cut or chapped skin or an unknown sweet or rich taste left on them waiting to be licked off. Slowly, he parted his lips and granted my tongue entrance to his mouth. I slowly ran my tongue across his, tasting the inside of his mouth. He shivered as I ran my hands over his ribs and down his back, gripping tightly. I pulled him onto my lap as he wrapped his arms around my neck, slowly moving his tongue with mine. I moaned at the taste of him, a taste I had grown used to and craved.
Pulling back, I kissed his cheek and down the side of his face and to his neck, the house was filled with the atmosphere of sex and passion in the air.
I rested my lips on his collarbone, slowly sucking and pulling at the skin there. He gripped his fingers in my hair and pulled softly, at which point I growled quietly. Gerard smirked at me, as if loving the effect he was having on me; we bite each other’s lips to stop ourselves from moaning too loud. It felt so good.
We lost ourselves in passion, consumed with need and overwhelming hunger.

After lying down next to him, he sat up and crawled up onto my hips. He straddled them with one leg on either side, and then leaned down putting his hands either side of my head and kissing me with panting breath and a shiver as I ran my fingers up and down his cold sensitive spine. He lowered down so that he was on his elbows either side of me and his hands brushed my hair back allowing our bare torsos to crash together then stick with sweat.

I drove home with my knuckles turning white around the steering wheel, he rested his head against the window and he let his body sway and crash against it over every bump.

I have never been so angry before in my life.

I slap the door shut when we get home and like Gerard the night before I begin pacing.

"Frank. I'm sorry." He sighs slouching on the couch.

"What? Sorry I'm no longer good enough? Sorry you don't need me anymore huh? What was I just a quick f*ck before you fire me?" He snap so angry that I tug at my hair it threatens to pull away from the scalp.

"It's not like that. Last night was amazing." He says softly, I'm just waiting for the 'but'. "But I can't do this anymore."

"So you get this surgery and its all better? It doesn't work like that Gerard; it could make it worse!" I hate how I sound. I hate how it sounds like I don't want him to get better. I do. But I don't want him to get his hopes up over something that may never exist. I hate the feeling that last night meant nothing but a goodbye before telling me inadvertently lost a job.

"I don't want to be a job to you anymore! I just want to be yours." He shouts out. He snaps me out of my daze of self loathing.

Wait what?

I stop and look at him waiting, my eyebrows furrowed and hands loose by my sides.

"I don't want to be a burden anymore. Last night you saw me, a part of me that I left so long ago, I don't want you to be scared of what I might become if all I am is a job to you. I want more. I thought we could be more." He whispers.

"I thought so too. I want that. But I don't want to be paid to be with you." I sniffle. Tears begining to fall from my eyes and I can't seem to stop them. "I need to think." I suck in a breath and make my way to the door.

"I don't want you to leave. Please, don't leave me." He whimpers, his gaze shooting up to me, tears fall and burn from his eyes, glazed over and shining with emotion.

"I'm sorry." I sob and close the door behind me. I don't know if I'll ever turn back.