Dirty Little Game ♠ Professor Lupin

Three: Coincidence

„And that's all? I thought that with the whole classroom to yourself, you'd finally get down to business." Brook said dissatisfiedly, spreading her legs on the couch.

Me, the girls and Wilton sat in the common room, relaxing after dinner. It's only been a day since I talked to Lupin. Everyone was curious about my progress.

"Maybe you'd like to switch with me if you know how to do it better?" I scoffed, having had enough of her constant complaining.

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. I have a boyfriend." She explained as if the relationship had ever stopped her from doing something.

"Girls, stop it." Wilton intervened, "Tell me, Ethel, how he was doing?"

I went back to the memories of the previous day. To his deep brown eyes, to his hands in pockets. "I suppose he was nervous. But really eloquent, I believe he apologized to me a couple of times within, like, two minutes."

"But was he giving you any signs?" asked Jaylee, who had been silent so far.

"Was he looking into your eyes or, you know, other romantic crap?" Wilton added.

"It was strange." I admitted, "He did look at me a lot at first, but after he said I was pretty, he became embarrassed and didn't look me in the eyes anymore."

Wilton rolled over on the sofa to look at me with wide eyes. "He did what?!"

"Yeah." I laughed. On the other couch, both girls looked more or less equally surprised. "I told you it's only a matter of time."

"Okay, I don't know why I reacted like that, since all he said was the truth." Wilton resumed his previous position, but I noticed a cunning smile on his face.

I wasn't trying to deny it, I wasn't Jaylee. I had no problems with self-esteem. I knew what I looked like and I knew my worth. Actually, I was the complete opposite of Lupin. Maybe that was what attracted him.

"What are you going to do with this?" Brook asked, clearly excited.

"He's on a patrol tonight, right? Well, we'll meet very accidentally."

The weather allowed me to wait for him outside, in the courtyard. I sat leaning against one of the columns, staring up at the dark sky with only a few glistening stars. It was getting colder and he wasn't coming.

In this darkness and silence, having no other way to occupy my mind, gloomy thoughts began to flood me. What was I actually doing? I was hitting on a teacher just for fun, although theoretically I'm already an adult. I certainly wasn't acting like one. My parents wouldn't be pleased. But when have they ever been?

I wasn't an adult, I was their doll. Just an ordinary, cruel reality of a pureblood family. As long as I was at Hogwarts, I had any freedom. When I finish school, move out and start my real life, things will not be that good anymore.

"I'm starting to think our encounters aren't just a coincidence."

I turned my head. Lupin was standing in front of the castle's gate, only a few meters away. Surprisingly, he had a slight grin on his lips.

I looked back to my hands clasped around my knees. Suddenly I wasn't ready to talk to him. Negative thoughts were still in my head, which was no good.

I wasn't sure what to say to him. "If it's indeed a coincidence, it's a damn strong one."

His footsteps echoed off the brick floor. He walked over to the next column, resting his back casually against it. He looked more confident than yesterday.

"The curfew started some time ago." he said with an unreadable expression on his face. "You shouldn't be outside."

"I know, I'll take any detention you give me." I responded instantly. I didn't even have to pretend to be sad.

Lupin sighed and sat down at the other end of the wall, almost touching my shoes. "I'm not going to give you one."

I looked up. There was no sign of a smile on his face now. He looked worried and I was starting to fear he'd figured me out. He lifted his head and asked, "Are you alright?"

I wasn't expecting this. His question surprised me so much I almost answered him honestly. "I'm perfectly fine."

He raised an eyebrow. "Then what are you doing here?"

That was a good question. "I come here every now and then when I want to be alone."

"Oh." He breathed out, rising from his seat. "I can leave you alone, but I'll be back in ten minutes and you'd better be in your bed by then."

"No, please don't." I said right away, my voice a little too tense, reaching out to him, as if I wanted to force him to stay. Bad choice. "That's not what I meant. I just..." Lupin stood patiently, waiting for what I had to say. I couldn't come up with any convincing lie, so I told him the truth. "Sometimes I need to get away from crowds, constant gossip and high expectations."

His features softened. He ran a hand through his hair, clearly struggling with his thoughts, but eventually sat down. "If you need someone to talk to ..."

"No, I don't want to trouble you." I tried to smile but didn't quite make it.

"It's no trouble." He assured me. He looked like he really cared. "From what others have told me, I'm a pretty good listener."

I thought about it for a moment. Sure, it would bring us closer, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to share my private issues, my personal thoughts with... him.

Seeing my hesitation, he laughed harshly. "You know what, forget it. I shouldn't be imposing. If you don't want to talk to me, you don't need to explain yourself."

I mentally kicked myself. "No, it's not that."

"It turns out I have a poor perception of everything, then." He said. The sarcasm and bitterness in his voice made me shiver.

"I'm sorry." I sighed, resting my head on my hands. This wasn't how it was supposed to work. "It's not that easy, you know?" I looked at him, genuinely distressed, "I've been taught all my life to keep such things to myself. So as not to show weakness." I was about to go on, but my voice broke at the end of the sentence. I covered my mouth with my hand. A deep breath, exhale. Repeat. "I'm being childish, I'm sorry, this is stupid."

"Ethelyn, calm down. It's not your fault." He used my full name. Haven't heard it in ages.

I jumped off the wall and cleared my throat. "You probably don't even want to hear it. I'd better go." I started walking towards the castle.

"Wait." I heard the surprise in his voice. I didn't stop and this time he followed me. "If you ever need someone, don't hesitate to come see me, okay?"

Now I have stopped. I stared into his eyes. "Do you mean that?"

He studied me for a long moment, catching his breath. He looked at my hair, probably already ruffled by the wind, at my cheeks, lips, nose, and finally he looked into my eyes and said "Absolutely."