Dirty Little Game ♠ Professor Lupin

Twenty three: You Are Still Here

Connor Marshall turned out to be looking for more than a one-night stand. I had no idea what it was about me that drew him in so profoundly, but he had been following me around like a shadow since that night. I wasn't expecting that - he seemed to be a guy who didn't chase girls.

I could tell Ryley didn't like it. He soon realized Connor was spending an excessive amount of time by my side. He started shooting me hateful looks when we turned up for breakfast together three days in a row. No one took my position, Ryley still had no one, as far as I could tell. It had to hurt him that, despite his best attempts, everything appeared to be going well in my life.

Connor asked about him. He said he had seen us together a lot before but not once since we came back from Christmas break. He must have not known about what happened at the Christmas feast, which meant he hadn't been there and the most logical excuse to that was he wasn't pureblood. It didn't bother me in any way. Being with someone who was unaware of my past was refreshing.

This was how I could sum up our relationship – refreshing. This boy was outside my friends' circle and I wasn't interested in his own. He had no ties to the Dark Lord or the Sacred Twenty-Eight. He was carefree, feisty and quite sweet. He was totally what I needed at the time.

I didn't know where I was going with him. Nothing had happened between us since that night of the party. We exchanged a few very intense kisses but that was it. When he asked me to show up at the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the night, I wasn't sure what to do. It was obvious that he wanted more but he didn't ask for it out loud. So I decided that until this question was said, I would take the best of whatever our relationship was.

"Look who's here." I could barely see Connor in the darkness. It was only when he took a few steps towards me and stepped out into the light reflected by the moon that I managed to see his crooked smile and tousled hair.

I raised one eyebrow as I stepped closer. "Are you surprised? You asked me to come."

"And you could've said no, but I guess it's hard to resist me." He leaned down and gave me a short kiss right on the mouth.

I didn't mind Connor's cockiness. He made you want to be in his company because of his fair amount of good sense of humour and lightness of being.

"Why did you want me here?" I asked, then proceeded to the railing, passing him by.

"Today is the full moon." He said simply. "You know, a romantic thing. Snow, stars, two people."

"And you think I'm a girl who likes romantic things?" I questioned, turning to him for a moment, trying to put pressure on him. It was difficult to do anything to intimidate him, so in practice it was like we were playing with each other.

"Am I wrong?" His smile widened but then suddenly his whole face changed - his eyes were calm, his eyebrows raised, and there was no trace of the smile on his lips. "If you want adrenaline, I can always take you to the forbidden forest and tie you to a tree."

I rolled my eyes and went back to watching the snow fall. "An incredibly tempting offer, but today I'll pass."

Unexpectedly, he grabbed my hand and quickly turned me around. I didn't know what the hell he was doing until he snapped his fingers and a light turned on near us. The yellow light was enough to illuminate a few pillows and a heavy leather blanket. This was certainly not a permanent amenity on the tower.

"You did this?"

"Well, yeah, that's what romantic things are." He spoke with a snicker in his voice.

We both sat on the pillows. Connor immediately covered me tightly with a blanket. Only then I felt that I am quite cold. Though I wasn't sitting on the floor, I was leaning against the stone wall.

"Why are you shaking?" He asked, his breath visible as a white puff in the air.

I chuckled, "If you hadn't noticed the snow falling, it's still winter."

"Yeah, but you just got here."

My gaze wandered to the world outside. Although I couldn't see the moon from here, probably hidden by the roof of the tower, the light it reflected made everything around me very clear, even a distant lake covered with a sheet of ice.

I shrugged and looked at him. "You can call me cold-blooded, I get cold quickly."

"Not with me, you don't."

He tossed the blanket aside and before I knew what he was doing, he pulled off his jumper and tucked it over my head. He left it as it was, imitating a scarf. I gave him a look but pulled it further and then I felt two things - how he managed to warm it up and his smell. His perfume was nice, certainly expensive, but it seemed shallow and predictable, as if the same ingredients were found in any fragrance labeled "for men".

"Now you will be freezing." I stated the obvious. Connor was only in a T-shirt and it made me shiver when I saw his bare arms.

He quickly covered himself with the blanket again. "It was all my idea to come here."

"I could dress warmer."

He clapped his hands on his knees. He looked at me as if I was a wayward child. "Okay, you know what, I can agree that it's all your fault if you want."

I have no idea how long we were there. I was in such a good mood that I didn't even consider it. At the time, I had completely forgotten about my life and was just enjoying myself with the guy who made me laugh so easily and cared about me. At one point, the wolf's wild, low howl cut through the air and it was so loud that I jumped and Connor just laughed and pulled me closer, muttering something about the Forbidden Forest.

Maybe we were too loud, maybe we lured it with the light, or maybe we didn't do anything wrong at all. For some reason, a lone Dementor appeared in front of the tower.

"What are you staring at, freak?" Spat Connor, staring at him malevolently.

"It has no eyes." I pointed out which only earned me a quiet hmph from him.

But the Dementor was moving towards us. When it crossed the railings and was on the tower, I got to my feet. Connor did the same and stood in front of me.

"Aren't they forbidden from approaching students?" I asked but didn't get an answer.

Connor pulled out his wand and pointed it at the creature that didn't seem to notice it at all. He said the loud Expecto Patronum but nothing happened. Not even a glimmer of light escaped from his wand. With my heart beating wildly in my chest, my fingers tightened on my own wand, ready to use it at any moment.

The second time the boy failed to cast the spell correctly, I held my hand out in front of me and yelled the incantation. Light exploded from the tip of my wand and formed a shield. I thought the edge of it was forming a tail of some animal or at least I wanted to think so.

"My first Patronus on a true Dementor." I gasped when the creature had already left us.

Connor stood with his hands on his hips, looking at me as if he saw me for the first time. "How did you do that?"

My mind flashed back to my memory. I didn't have to look for it, I didn't have to wonder which memory to use. It was there, just waiting for me. The night with Remus. His hands on my hips, holding me in the right position, his lips on my neck, his hair all over the pillow, his...

I cleared my throat and looked at Connor somewhat differently. "The memory must be really strong. You must feel it."

I was in a rush to get back to the dormitory. Connor took it for the stress or anxiety of confronting the Dementor, but that wasn't true at all. There was a scene playing over and over in my head and I couldn't get rid of it. It made me feel sick with myself.

I was well aware that whatever was going on between Remus and me was over. The longer our 'break' lasted, the more I understood that it would last forever. It was over a year and a half until the end of my studies at this school. It's a really long time. A lot can happen and at the same time, the probability that something would happen that would bring me back to Remus was less than small.

Even so, I felt bad about what I was doing with Connor. I felt bad in my own skin. It was as if I was cheating on Remus, though practically I wasn't. Theoretically... I wasn't so sure.