Dirty Little Game ♠ Professor Lupin

Seven:Breakthrough

The time has come for a first trip to Hogsmeade.

Wilton offered to spend time together with the whole group, but I needed a break from this castle and its people. In Hogwarts, I couldn't be alone. There was always someone around me when I was outside the common room and there was always someone in the common room who wanted to talk to me, and on top of that, I shared the dormitory with four other girls. In the village, other students barely approached me as they were so preoccupied with making the most of their limited time.

I figured I'd take a walk around the stores by myself and then go and have a drink with Ryley. I walked and looked at the window displays of even those shops that didn't interest me. I bought a few insignificant things, like a beautiful quill made of a swan feather, some sweets and another Dittany for my collection. Jaylee was probably going to scream at me soon for getting so many plants in the dorm.

At the end, I went to the bookstore, telling myself that I would only look. Maybe it would turn out to be true this time. I wandered aimlessly through the shop, stopping at my favourite shelf labelled Greenery.

With my head tilted ninety degrees to read the titles, I saw a familiar tall, slim figure on the other side of the shop. He had his back to me but I hid behind the bookshelf anyway. I'm not a patient person, so I leaned out a bit to see what he was doing.

He was holding a book in his hands, turning pages to read a little. He was so focused he looked like he was in his own world.

"You there!" I heard the screeching voice of the saleswoman. Lupin yanked his gaze away from the pages. "Read after purchase."

He nodded, closing the book, yet he still held it in his hands, not moving from his spot. I expected him to go to the cash register, but instead he returned the book to its proper location and walked away. After a moment, I heard the bell ring as the door closed behind him.

In a second I was where he was standing a moment ago. I was trying to find the right book, not knowing exactly what it looked like. Then I looked at the prices and took the most expensive one. The cover featured some of the most horrible magical creatures; a lethifold, a river troll, and a werewolf.

"Beasts of Magical World: the latest scientific reports by Galatea Merrythought and Belinneus Gwenn." I read in a whisper and chuckled. "This guy really likes his job."

That day I left the store with another book.

When I entered Three Broomsticks, Ryley was already waiting for me.

"Hi, beautiful." he said with a smile and kissed my cheek. Until now, he hasn't shown his affection in front of other people.

'Hello, Ryley." I sat down at the table. "Could you get me a Trickle?"

"Sure thing." he replied and walked over to the counter. To kill time, I looked around.

The pub was full, at least half of the customers were Hogwarts students. In that crowd, I noticed Brook sitting in the corner with her boyfriend. I looked away quickly, not wanting to see what they were doing for my own good. Then I glanced over at the bar and saw who was seated there.

I would've thought he was following me if he hadn't came here before me. I looked him up. He was sitting on one of those high chairs with his hands on the table top, a glass in front of him. His coat was plain, gray, as if washed out of the colour it once had. One of his scars, the one on his cheek, was almost silver from the reflection of light. When ignoring his obviously not very thick wallet, I could admit he looked good.

Then he turned his head and looked straight at me, as if he knew I was watching.

It crossed my mind to apologize to Ryley and get out of there; I was sure he'd understand, even though I'd surely upset him. But then he stepped between me and Lupin, placing our drinks on the table. I had to stay.

This is how I spent the most uncomfortable hour in my life. Sitting with my soon-to-be fiancée, being watched by my failed lover who happened to be my teacher.

I could feel Lupin's eyes on me all this time. It was torture. I drank my drink in long sips, hoping to get out of there as soon as possible, but Ryley missed the hint as he sipped his beer slowly. This wasn't how I had imagined this afternoon. I was supposed to relax, not have this teacher on my mind again.

I figured if today was already spoiled, I might as well do something. At least, I kept telling myself that when just before the curfew I was going to the Owlery to choose the largest bird that would be able to carry my package. There was nothing else in the paper bag but the book. No note or hint. I was sure he would know it was me anyway.

And I was right. Over the next few days, I kept catching Lupin staring at me. He was trying to figure me out. I always held his gaze, neither of us having a clue what it was really about. I thought he would want to clarify things, that he would either be grateful or yell at me, do anything. I expected him to do it after class, but he didn't say my name. He ignored me throughout the lesson and wasn't going to change it, and I was sick of our silently exchanged glances. So I gave him no choice and waited for him on his patrol.

"How many more times are we supposed to go through this?" He asked ironically when he saw me.

"As many as it takes." I replied seriously, getting up from the stairs. I hoped he could see regret and longing in my eyes. "Tell me what I can do."

"You can't do anything." There was tension on his face, but my presence no longer fazed him. I could tell he was comfortable from the way he carried himself.

"You probably want to hear that I made a mistake." I took a step towards him. He took a step back. "That I kissed you in a moment of weakness and now I regret it. But I won't say this cause it's not true."

He sighed deeply, tired of me not leaving him alone. He wasn't looking away from me anymore, he wasn't afraid to meet my eyes. As if something significant had happened in those few days to lead him to rethink his opinion of me. He had previously appeared uneasy in my presence, as if I were intimidating him. There was no sign of it left now.

"And I don't want to hear you don't feel anything for me because we both know it's a lie."

I was sure of it. Otherwise he wouldn't let me kiss him. If he hadn't like it, he would've pushed me away, said something, told me to leave the room. But he let me. He didn't do anything to stop it because he didn't want it to end, he did nothing more because he was afraid of the consequences.

Lupin ruffled his hair with his fingers. He did this when things were overwhelming him and he didn't know what to do.

"Go to my class. I'll come as soon as possible."