The Fall (Camren)

All That Fire and All That Snow

‘Camila! Slow down, please!’ Lauren yelled, running after the Cuban.

Camila’s pace did lessen but only because she reached a road, Lauren watched as she checked both ways before crossing and picking up her pace again. It was pretty late and the roads were fairly empty as Lauren ran across to catch up to Camila.

‘Camila stop, please. Where are you going?’

‘I don’t know!’ she shouted over her shoulder, walking through a gate and into a dimly lit children’s playground. Lauren followed her in, finally catching up to the girl she panted a little out of breath from chasing her.

‘Is there a reason you’re so pissed?’ Lauren asked, watching Camila stomp over to a rusty swing set and plonk herself down on the plastic seat.

‘I don’t know Lauren, maybe because some douchebag almost took my first kiss because you were too chicken to do it!’

‘Hey, I wasn’t ch-‘

‘Or maybe,’ Camila interrupted, ‘I’m pissed because you just let him take me out, you didn’t even say anything.’ The fire in her voice died and Lauren though that now she just sounded sad.

‘What was I supposed to say? I didn’t even know you didn’t want to go with him.’

‘Why would I want that?’

‘I seem to remember some flirty texts exchanged between you two not so long ago,’ Camila looked down, swaying slightly on the swing, ‘and we never really discussed our relationship. I thought maybe you wanted to…explore your options, or something.’

‘What?’ Camila looked at her sharply, letting Lauren know she was totally off the mark with that assumption.

‘Is all this because I didn’t kiss you the other night?’

‘No.’ Camila replied, but yes was written all over her face. She avoided Lauren’s eyes, scuffing the dirt under the swing with her worn chucks.

‘Camz,’ she said softly, waiting for her to look at her, ‘I wanted it to be perfect, that’s why I didn’t kiss you. Not because I didn’t want to.’

‘I thought maybe you changed your mind…about us.’ The words hung in the air and as a lone snowflake dropped in front of her line of sight, realisation hit her. This was Camila’s first relationship, her first ever and Lauren was screwing it up.

She dropped onto her knees in front of the younger brunette, leaning down so she could see Camila’s eyes. Snow started falling around them, sprinkling and dusting their surroundings like icing sugar. She reached a hand up to cup Camila’s face, brushing her thumb lightly across her cheekbone.

‘Camz, look at me,’ Camila obliged, her cinnamon eyes practically glowed in the now stark white playground. They burnt like firewood, they sparked and sizzled and seared into Lauren’s core, ‘I fucking adore you.’

Camila’s eyes welled at the admission, her burning ember irises seemed to intensify. Lauren kicked herself for not doing this sooner. She felt the words on the tip of her tongue. She adored everything about Camila, the way on dark nights the stars would shine in her eyes, or on sunny days her hair would change to a lighter shade of brunette in the sun’s rays and she would get these cute little freckles on her nose and her eyes would turn a beautiful shade of copper. The way her smile brightened at a certain song. The way she breathes when she sleeps. Her smooth skin and soft lips. The way she can be the loudest, goofiest person in the room and then can switch to quiet and subdued. Her almost refined intelligence and her clumsiness.

Just everything. Lauren adores it all, and she wanted to say it, she really did…but sometimes a meaningful silence meat more that meaningless words.